


Angelus Ardens - Burning Angel

by Cullenboyz



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: 19th Century, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Ancient History, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-03 08:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 57,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1737281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cullenboyz/pseuds/Cullenboyz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Born as a Roman slave, Eduardus serves a depraved mistress and learns that he is nothing. Stolen into a world of violence, Eduardus slakes his thirst without remorse, and learns that he is a monster. Fleeing to a world of asceticism, Edward finds relief in oblivion and learns that life is pain. But in rescuing his Singer, Edward learns that he must live.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lamia

**Twilight & characters=not mine**

**A/N - I've always love period fiction. Because really, why do I want to read about here and now, when I can have an adventure? I'm a sucker for the classical era, because I was a Latin nerd in high school, and because those people were kinda nuts. I've always loved Vamp fics, because _hotness, angst, and drama._ And I haven't always loved Forks, but there it is, because Twilight. It can't be now, because boring, but it can't be _too_ long ago, because nobody home but Quilleutes and wildlife. So 1800s it is!**

**So here you have it: A Historical Twilight Vamp Fic Set in Ancient Rome, 19th Century Forks, Washington _Territory_ (hey, I do my research), and Also Various Places and Times in Between.**

**But mostly, this is a story about Edward.**

**Because in any time or place, we love him.  
**

* * *

**ANGELUS INCENSIO**

_**Burning Angel** _

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Lamia**

**Volterra, Rome**

**56 A.D.**

The vampire leaps lightly from rooftop to rooftop, easily picking a path through the moonless night. She is not always so cautious about avoiding detection, but tonight she is in Volaterrae, the Volturi's seat of power. She has no desire to spark her rulers' displeasure, and there is no surer way to do so than to expose oneself to the humans who live here.

She pauses within sight of her goal, taking the moment to enjoy the tingling of anticipation coursing through her body. At long last, she is here to find Eduardus and take him away with her! For six years she has passed through Volaterrae each spring, delightedly taking note of Eduardus' increasing height and broadening shoulders. She has even been startled to discover a feeling of affection for the young man, as well as a heated jealousy toward any female who grows close to him. None of her other consorts have ever inspired these unpleasant emotions, which only serve to increase her lustful appetite. She has even cut short her hunting in order to reach Eduardus more quickly, so eager is she to claim her prize.

This rash decision will prove disastrous. The wind shifts, and the heady smell of freshly spilled human blood assaults her, awakening her bloodlust with shocking force. By the time she streaks through the villa's open window she is in a frenzy, rational thought completely smothered by base instinct.

Inside, where Eduardus normally sleeps, a woman has just given birth and is lying on a blood-soaked pallet. Mindlessly flinging an elderly woman across the room, the vampire leaps upon the new mother and sinks her teeth deep. She gorges herself on hot, thick blood, not even bothering with the squalling infant at the hapless woman's breast.

The vampire has nearly drained her victim when another cry rings out and she is attacked from behind. Instinct demands that she defend her kill. She whirls and snaps the neck of the wretch who dares disturb her, but her eyes widen in horror as she recognizes the object of her desire crumpling to the ground. No! Not her Eduardus! She falls to her knees beside him, and his pain-filled eyes meet hers for an instant before they roll back into unconsciousness.

An older woman rushes into the room and begins to scream, falling to her knees at Eduardus' side. In the next instant, a vampire male in Volturi garb enters through the window, quickly taking in the scene with a look of distaste.

"Get out!" he hisses angrily. "Go tell Caius I will need assistance in cleaning up your mess."

The vampire female is shocked out of her grief by a rare thrill of terror, for the Volturi deal harshly with any who expose their kind with mindless carnage. Sparing one last glance for her dying love, she shoots away into the darkness, praying she will find Caius and his brothers in a benevolent temper.

She is indeed fortunate that night; the Volturi allow her head to remain attached. However, they banish her from the continent for the rest of her days, with the admonition that any future infraction will result in her summary execution. But exile is a small price to pay, when the alternative is death.

She is escorted through the stone corridors of the Volturi castle and has almost reached the imposing outer doors when a heavenly scent invades her consciousness — a scent she had thought never to experience again. She spins and drops to the ground, evading the grasp of her guards. Dashing around a corner, she catches a glimpse of the vampire from Eduardus' villa carrying a body wrapped in linens. _His heart beats still! Eduardus!_

She is grabbed roughly from behind and hauled back before she can see more, but it is enough. _They mean to change him! Already it has begun!_ Her despair transforms into hope, and she struggles no more as she is led outside the walls of the city and far to the southwest, finally reaching a cliff overlooking the Tyrrhenian Sea. Her escorts shove her toward the precipice, but she needs no encouragement. Giving her Volturi guard a brilliant smile, she leaps high into the night air, diving cleanly into the dark waters below.

**A/N - Lamia = vampire  
**

**Thank you for reading! Please take the time to review - it means the world to me. xo, Linda**


	2. Iracundia

A/N Another brief one...  
Twilight=not mine

Chapter 2 - Iracundia

Oxford, England  
1192

A richly dressed woman walks briskly along St. Aldate's Street, keeping her veiled face lowered against the curious glances of the students and townspeople she passes. Stopping abruptly, she retraces her steps to the entrance of a public house, where she stands motionless for several minutes, her head cocked to one side, as if listening.

At length, she enters the establishment and moves to the side of the door to stand in the shadows with her back against the wall. The dimly lit room is crowded and bustling with activity on this autumn afternoon, but it takes her less than a second to locate the young man she seeks. He shares a table with several other gentlemen, his back to the door. She sees the moment when he catches her scent, and his spine stiffens.

He subtly turns his head in her direction, and she whispers, "Eduardus, at last I have found you. Come to me outside, I implore you! We must speak."

She hears him make his excuses to his dining companions, sees him rise and place coins on the table before turning to face the door. She nods to him, then exits the tavern, turning right and walking slowly until he joins her, his tall frame towering beside her. Placing a gloved hand on his arm, she begins, "Eduardus, my name is..."

"I know who you are, and what you have done," he snarls, flinging her hand away in distaste. "Carlisle predicted that you would come for me one day." Grimly, he views her upturned face. " But if you value your life, you will follow me no more."

He turns dismissively and strides away, but she hurries after him, watching as he mounts the steps to St. Aldate's Church and disappears into the nave. Moments later, she pulls open the heavy wooden door and slips inside the darkened church, eyes searching for him in the shadows.

She finds him seated in a pew at the front, his head bowed as if in prayer. She takes several halting steps toward him before stopping, increasingly unsure of her course.

"Eduardus, please," she finally cries, her voice echoing loudly off the cold stone walls, "For centuries I have searched for you! I have risked all to find you! I beg you to hear me out!"

He does not move, but she hears the low rumble of his voice in the darkness. "Victoria. In exactly five minutes' time I will carry your lifeless body from this place and burn every foul piece. You have that long to dissuade me."

A/N - iracundia - state of anger, fury, wrath

Thank you for reading, and please, take a moment to comment - it will mean the world to me. xo, Linda


	3. Inflammare

A/N - To those who have reviewed - THANK YOU!  
As you know, we have skipped 1000 years of Eduardus' life between the first two scenes. I have his whole life mapped out, but have to pick and choose what to include, with such a vast span of time. I'd love to hear from you about what you'd like to see included. I'll be posting a timeline soon (have to wait to avoid spoilers).  
So...Victoria. Some suggested Tanya, which was a good thought, too. Victoria's fate will remain a mystery for the time being, as we take another leap in time and place.

Chapter 3 - Inflammare

Forks, Washington Territory  
June, 1879

Edward Cullen (for so he was now called) paused at the top of a hill overlooking the town, leisurely analyzing the scents floating past on the late afternoon breeze. This would be his first foray into Forks, the latest place his adoptive family was calling home. Beside him, his "sister," Rosalie, tidied her hair and pulled on a pair of elegant gloves.

"I would like to see what the mercantile carries in the way of fabrics," she said with a smile. "Perhaps there will be something there to interest you as well." Edward hummed noncommittally, but gamely offered her his arm.

Before long, they were strolling together along the main street of town, the pair drawing the attention of everyone who looked their way. Edward had long known that he was considered handsome, and was used to the wide-eyed, slacked-jawed women who crossed his path. But Rosalie was a special case, even among their kind. Men and boys of all ages stopped in their tracks, turning to watch as she walked by, despite the fact that her cornsilk hair and exquisite face were partly hidden behind her hat's wide brim.

"They'll get used to us," she whispered, too low for anyone but Edward to hear. Like her brother, Rosalie was a newcomer to Forks, having arrived with her husband, Emmett just a few days earlier. Their adoptive parents had established a home outside of Forks several weeks before in anticipation of their children joining them.

"The mercantile is just across the way," Rosalie murmured with a gesture, and they stepped off the wooden walkway onto the packed dirt of the street below.

A breeze whipped the up the dust around them, and suddenly Edward doubled over as if punched in the gut, an expression of anguish marring his face. Groaning, he collapsed to his knees, then fell to his side, his body curling in on itself as the muscles contracted. Desperately, Rosalie scanned the streets around them, finding no explanation for her brother's distress. She dropped to her knees beside him, crying out, "Carlisle! Come quickly!"

Edward pulled at this hair with both fists, his face contorted in pain as he growled through clenched teeth, "No...No!...I will not!"

In the next instant, Rosalie saw their father hurrying toward them, his doctor's bag in hand. After making a brief show of examining Edward, Carlisle passed his bag to Rosalie and called to one of the gawking men, "Mr. Crowley! If you would be so kind as to aid me in carrying him to my cart." The young man in question scrambled to comply, and Edward was lifted into the back of the surrey, where he continued to moan in agony.

Carlisle handed Rosalie into the cart and leapt up beside her, quickly urging the horse into a canter. The gathered townspeople scurried out of the way, then clustered in the road to watch as the surrey disappeared into the surrounding trees.

Rosalie turned in her seat and placed a hand on Edward's shoulder, feeling him relax slightly as the sounds and smells of the town receded. At length he was able to sit up, though he still held his head in his hands. His sister and father waited patiently as he recovered his composure, finally slumping back against the bench and running a shaking hand over his face.

"I have heard about such things from the beginning," Edward rasped, "but I have never truly understood." He suddenly broke into laughter, causing Rosalie and Carlisle to exchange a concerned look. Groaning again, Edward dropped his face into his hands and was still. Rosalie continued to watch him with concern as the horses pulled them toward home, their hooves muffled on the leaf-strewn carriage trail.

"Edward." Carlisle finally broke the silence, speaking quietly into the gathering darkness. "Please...help us to understand." They had almost reached their destination when Edward spoke: "La mia cantante."

Carlisle spun in his seat in time to see Edward's face crumple in despair. "Carlisle, my singer...she is here!"

A/N

Inflammare = to inflame, set ablaze, burn  
La mia cantante = my singer  
Thanks you so much for reading - please comment! - Linda


	4. Adolere

Chapter 4 - Adolere

It had taken several days to discover who the culprit was. Rosalie and Edward remembered the group of women who had passed by on the street just before the bloodlust had brought Edward to his knees. Jessica Stanley, Angela Weber, and Shelly Cope quickly had been ruled out, leaving the last mystery girl as the likely source of Edward's trouble. However, she was proving as difficult to locate as Cinderella after the ball.

On their third day of searching in town, Edward and Rosalie were beginning to hope they would not find the girl at all when they finally spotted her exiting a rundown little house. She waved to someone inside and made her way to the road where her horse was tied. As if she sensed them watching her, the girl looked in their direction, shading her eyes against the sun.

A gust of wind carried her scent to them, and this time, Edward expected the searing agony that scorched his throat. Clawing hunger raged through his body, nearly dropping him to his knees, and the instinct to feed threatened madness if he did not obey.

"Edward, go!" Rosalie whispered urgently, nearly in a panic herself. She helped him stagger around the corner of a building where they were hidden from view, and he fell to the ground, tremors wracking his body. Rosalie quickly returned to the street, just in time to see the young woman and her horse disappear into the forest.

~oOo~

"Isabella Swan." Rosalie spoke the name distinctly as she removed her hat and joined her family seated in the parlor. "She is Sheriff Swan's daughter. Unmarried."

Edward slumped back into his chair and sighed in defeat. "I suppose it was too much to hope for that she would be only a visitor passing through town."

Carlisle shook his head in bemusement. "I didn't know Charlie Swan had a daughter."

"She doesn't come into town much," Rosalie replied. "The mother died eight years ago. Their house is a mile outside of town." She dropped gracefully into a love-seat next to her burly husband.

"Well, that should make her easier to avoid," Carlisle attempted to reassure Edward, but the younger man's brows were still drawn in concern.

Esme shook her head in sympathy. "The poor girl, losing her mother at such as young age. Does she have any siblings?"

"No siblings," Rosalie answered, "and she's nineteen years old, according to Mrs. Cope at the mercantile."

"No longer a girl, then, eh, Edward?" Emmett joked with a suggestive lift of his dark brows. His wife delivered a playful smack in rebuke.

"Her age is of no consequence!" Edward retorted, rising to his feet in frustration at his family's seeming lack of concern. Leaning his shoulder against the window jamb, he looked in the direction of town as if he could see the girl in the distance. "She is an innocent," he murmured. "She doesn't deserve to lose her life, simply because an accident of nature and fate has placed her in my path. I must leave."

Esme cried out in dismay. "Carlisle, please! Surely there is some other way to keep Miss Swan safe."

But Emmett sharply interjected, "No! Edward is right. I know this better than anyone. Edward, I don't know how you found the strength to let your singer live, but you are right: Since this is her home, you must leave."

Edward felt himself relax for the first time since he had experienced Isabella's irresistible scent. He knelt beside his mother and gently took her hand. "Esme, it is for the best. What are a few decades of separation, when compared with this girl's life?"

A/N - Adolere = to sacrifice

COMMENTERS will get a link to Edward's timeline. :)  
xoxo, Linda


	5. Incendere

Chapter 5 - Incendere

Buffalo, New York

June, 1880 (one year later)

Edward sat by the window of his second story apartment, watching as a hummingbird flitted among the flowering vines that covered the building. The bird, whom Edward had dubbed "Sir Pavo," was a regular visitor; this was fortunate, Edward reflected with a wry smile, as Pavo was also his only visitor.

For a year now, Edward had been enrolled as an art student at New York University in Buffalo, but though he usually relished the chance to study new fields, he was finding the work stale and frustrating. Instead of focusing on his studies, Edward's thoughts continually turned toward the home he had left behind, especially lingering on the young woman he was protecting by his absence.

Though Edward had only glimpsed her twice, Isabella Swan's face and form were burned in his perfect memory. Over two thousand miles separated them, yet she seemed as present as the brilliantly colored bird outside the window. For a long time, Edward's fixation on Isabella had involved fantasies of callously taking her blood as his due; but perhaps more disturbing was the way in which his fantasies had changed over the months.

Edward retrieved his sketchbook and began to work his pencil across the page. He had nearly filled the book with drawings of Isabella, most from his memories, but some born of his imagination. Instead of her blood, Edward now focused on capturing the graceful slant of her brows. He wondered about the secretive smile that shaped her pink lips, longed to understand the lively spirit that could be seen in her eyes.

Pausing in his sketch, he ran a hand over his face in frustration. This was all very strange and confusing. Certainly, he had always been able to judge whether a woman would be considered attractive, but never before had he been moved by a woman's beauty, as he was now. What was this pull he was feeling, the yearning ache in his chest? In all his memory, he had never experienced such longing.

With a sigh, he abandoned his sketch and picked up the latest packet of letters from his family. Esme entreated him to return, arguing that their house was remote enough to allow Edward to be with his family without risking an encounter with Isabella Swan. Rosalie wrote of trivial things, sharing with him the everyday events at home that Edward was missing. Emmett's letters mainly sought to reassure him that he had made the right decision in leaving.

From Carlisle, he had heard nothing at all. Much to his adoptive father's frustration, Edward had refused to hear of any plan that included staying anywhere near Forks. Both men had been angry when Edward had taken his leave, a fact he still regretted a year later.

A knock at the door interrupted Edward's unhappy musing, and he impatiently opened it, only to find the hallway empty. Then his face split into a wide smile.

"Emmett, you big fool," he called down the stairs, "come up!" The brothers clapped each other on the back and shared boisterous greetings, finally settling down inside the apartment.

Emmett explained his presence simply: "I had to deliver this in person, Edward. You'll see why." He handed over a smallish box. "Steady, now," he cautioned.

Inside was something wrapped in oilskin. His curiosity piqued, Edward opened it to reveal a dainty handkerchief. Suddenly, his senses were flooded with her scent, and he dropped the box as though it had burned him. The fire in Edward's throat roared to life, and with a furious growl, he pinned his brother against the wall.

"Just read Carlisle's letter, Edward. Then you can decide whether or not to punch me," Emmett said mildly.

With great effort, Edward controlled his anger and released Emmett, tearing open the letter to read. He turned stunned eyes on his brother. "You believe this can work?" he asked, hardly daring to hope.

Emmett nodded. "I would not have agreed to come, otherwise. Edward, Carlisle has spent the last year traveling, gathering information about singers. He found no one who could remember a vampire resisting his singer, even among those who hunt animals as we do. You have a unique talent."

Edward shook his head in amazement. "And it was Eleazar who convinced Carlisle that I can do this." Edward knew Eleazar well from his time with the Volturi. The vampire was gifted with the ability to discern the special talents in others, but he had never hinted that Edward possessed such a talent.

Emmett shrugged. "I guess it wasn't something the Volturi could exploit, so he didn't bother." He picked up the offending handkerchief and held it out to his brother. "Carlisle believes that repeated exposure to Isabella's scent will desensitize you. Edward…you can come home!"

~oOo~

Quickly settling Edward's affairs, the brothers put his single trunk of belongings on a train to Washington Territory, and the two of them began the long trek home. They took advantage of the enormous tracts of wilderness, hunting bear and mountain lion as they went. Edward carried with him several items belonging to Isabella, and now he almost welcomed the burn they caused in his throat.

As they drew within a few hundred miles of home, Emmett began to sense his brother's growing impatience, so he called, "Go on Edward! I'll catch up." With a wave and a grin, Edward shot off ahead of him through the trees, leaving a laughing Emmett in his wake.

~oOo~

Forks, Washington Territory

October, 1880 (four months later)

It was difficult to fathom that he had known Isabella Swan, had known she existed, for such a short time. It had been only eighteen months since he had first encountered her. It had been a mere four months since he had returned from New York.

While painstakingly keeping his distance from Isabella, Edward nevertheless had learned much about her, through his family and by watching and listening from afar. She was the sweet young thing who weekly helped old Widow Bundy with her garden. She was the caring soul who regularly visited Jacob, an orphaned Quilleute Indian boy who had lost his sight as an infant. She was the strange, bookish girl of whom the other young people spoke with derision.

He had known her only a short time, yet it was enough. What had started as a terrible fascination with his singer had been transformed.

Though Isabella Swan didn't even know he existed;

though he had done everything in his power to stay away;

though he had yet to acknowledge it, even to himself;

for the first time in his endless, lonely existence…

Eduardus Antonius Masen Cullen had fallen in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Incendere = to fire with passion, excite, incense
> 
> Sir Pavo=Sir Peacock
> 
> Reviewers get a link to Edward's timeline.
> 
> xo


	6. Concremare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Twilight=not mine. not one tiny bit.
> 
> And now, I am pleased to introduce our heroine!

 

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Concremare**

Isabella Swan looked out her bedroom window and watched as her father came in from the barn, his lantern leading the way through the inky darkness. She hurried down the stairs to find Charlie seated on the bench, removing his jacket and boots. Seeing his tired face, she pulled him into a hug.

"Dad, I was worried about you."

Charlie sighed and rested his head on hers. "Sorry to be so late. It couldn't be helped."

"I know. Come on, I saved supper for you."

He kissed the top of her head and made his way into the kitchen, groaning in pleasure as he dropped into his seat at the table. Bella dished up a savory stew for her father and sat with him in easy silence, enjoying his gusto and refilling his bowl from time to time.

When Charlie was settled in front of the fireplace and the dishes cleared, Bella came to join him, sitting companionably on the arm of his chair. In his hand was a small portrait of her mother, painted shortly after Bella was born.

Charlie took his daughter's hand, glancing up apologetically. "Still seems like she should be waiting when I come home, sometimes."

She gave his hand a squeeze and moved to sit in her chair by the fire. Picking up a book with a smile for her father, she asked, "Shall I read?"

"Naw, Bells, I think I'll turn in." Charlie stood and kissed her forehead. "But I thank you for the offer."

He emptied his pipe, then closed and latched the fireplace grate. "You should get some sleep, honey. I'll see you in the morning."

Bella stood on her toes to kiss his scruffy cheek before turning to head up the stairs. "Goodnight, Dad."

"Night, honey. Sweet dreams."

.

.

.

She awoke to choking darkness, her lungs burning with each agonizing breath. Desperately gasping for air, she tried to get out of bed but fell to the floor, coughing and gagging on the acrid smoke that filled the room. She dragged her quilt from the bed and held it over her mouth, her mind racing in terror.

Charlie! She had to wake him!

Her heavy night dress tangled around her legs as she struggled to reach the door. She sobbed in frustration, growing more lightheaded with every breath. At last her arms would hold her up no longer, and she sank to the floor, curling in on herself in despair.

Fighting to remain conscious, she was dimly aware of a crash of glass and splintering wood. Suddenly, she was being lifted from the floor by strong arms.

An angelic baritone voice murmured in her ear, "Don't be afraid."

Then blessedly cold air caressed her skin, and she floated as if weightless, cradled against a firm chest. Against all reason, she was infused with a deep sense of peace. Sighing, Bella turned her face securely into her rescuer's neck and surrendered to gentle oblivion.

.

.

Cold seeped through the quilt from the hard ground, and Bella's eyes burned. She sat up with a start, gasping in air only to be thrown into a fit of coughing. She struggled to her feet, icy fingers of panic gripping her chest as she stumbled toward the house, her only thought that of reaching Charlie.

Someone grabbed her before she could get close, and she struggled wildly, sobbing her father's name, insensible to the person who was trying to calm her. She finally tore herself away, only to see her cousin, Michael, racing toward her, eyes wide in his soot-covered face.

He crushed her into a hug, gasping, "Bella! Thank God! We were certain you were in there, too!"

Bella ceased her struggling and sagged against her cousin, staring through tear-filled eyes at the nightmarish sight before them. The entire first floor of the house, the floor where Charlie slept, was engulfed in flames. The painful crush of loss in her chest was more than she could bear, and she turned her face away with a hoarse cry of anguish, while Michael helplessly held her against his chest.

He walked her farther away from the house to wait as their neighbors battled the fire. The surrounding trees were eerily illuminated with a red glow, and huge whorls of sparks shot high into the night sky, caught up in the fierce westerly wind that fed the roaring flames.

Eventually, it became clear that the battle was lost, and the men stopped running, standing to watch dejectedly as the roof was enveloped. Michael's father emerged from the haze and approached them wearily, his shoulders drooping in defeat.

Bella couldn't take her eyes off the house, but acknowledged her uncle, her voice rough from the smoke and heat. "He didn't get out. Charlie is still in there."

The older man laid his hand on her shoulder. "Come now, child," he said kindly. "Your aunt has a bed made up for you. I'm afraid there is nothing more to be done here." He turned to his son. "Michael, bring the team around."

"Might I be permitted to attend to Miss Swan before you go?" They turned to find the town's doctor approaching, barely recognizable beneath the soot that streaked his face and clothes.

Bella shook her head. "There is no need."

Her uncle patted her shoulder. "Now, now, Isabella. Let Doc Cullen take a look at you. It would put my mind at ease."

Too tired and numb to argue, Bella nodded in resignation and turned to face Doctor Cullen. He placed a gentle hand on her arm. "My deepest condolences for your loss, Miss Swan. Your father was a fine man. I considered him a friend."

She allowed him to examine her, first placing a cool finger to the pulse at her wrist, then listening to her heart and asking her to breathe deeply, which caused another fit of coughing. He carefully supported her until the coughing passed, and then packed his things away.

"You will need bed rest for several days to allow your lungs to recover from the smoke," he said, "but I don't believe you have any lasting injury." Doctor Cullen squeezed her shoulder gently, stooping slightly to meet her eyes.

"You are not alone, Miss Swan. You have your family, and I hope you will call on me if you have need."

He turned to her uncle, saying, "I am always available. Let me know if she takes a turn for the worse." Then he disappeared into the darkness.

Bella followed her uncle to where Michael was pulling up in the wagon. Her cousin gave her a hand up, then sat beside her and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. As the wagon turned toward the road, Bella heard the house slowly collapsing in on itself, and felt her heart do the same. She closed her eyes and wondered why God had sent an angel to save her.

* * *

**A/N - Concremare = to burn down; to burn entirely**

**I'm sorry for killing Charlie. Yes, he's gone. :(**

****Yay, Edward and Bella finally met! Hey, there was physical contact!**   
**

**Reviewers get links to the Blog Of Eduardus Happiness.**


	7. Aestuere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Thank you so much to everyone who is reading, pimping, and reviewing!

**Chapter 7 - Aestuere**

**(Later the same night)**

Carlisle Cullen walked toward town at human speed until he was well away from the Swan house, then quickly turned off the road and into the forest. Edward accosted him at once.

"How is she? Is she injured? Where is she now?"

Dropping his bag, Carlisle placed both hands on his son's shoulders. "She is doing as well as can be expected."

Edward threw off the restraining hands and backed away. "What does that _mean?_ I must go to her!"

He made a move toward the road, but Carlisle anticipated him, blocking the way with serious intent. Edward growled low in his chest and snarled, "Get out of my way, Carlisle. I don't want to hurt you."

In a flash, Carlisle had him pinned against a giant oak, the older man's eyes glinting dangerously. "You are going nowhere, Edward, do you hear me? _Nowhere!_ If you go to her in this condition, you'll end up killing her yourself!"

After a few moments, Edward stopped struggling, and Carlisle released him.

Edward dropped his head back against the tree as he tried to control his breathing. "I know you are right, Carlisle… but my chest…it feels as though it will burst with the need to find her!"

He clutched at the front of his shirt, unconsciously trying to ease the pressure. "I _must_ see for myself that she is well, or I will go mad!" He held his head in his hands and sank to the ground in frustration.

Carlisle was silent.

Finally, Edward looked up to see that his father was watching him with a smirk on his face. Temporarily distracted by this confusing behavior, Edward lifted a brow in annoyance. "And just what is it that you find so amusing?"

"Edward," Carlisle said, his smile now sympathetic, "have you _never_ considered the possibility that this could happen to you?"

Edward shook his head irritably, "What are you talking about? I knew there was a possibility that I would encounter my singer one day, however unlikely…"

"Not your singer, Edward…" his father corrected, looking at him intently, "…your _mate_."

Edward stared back at Carlisle, his mind in a rage of denial. "You cannot be serious," he finally responded, though his voice lacked conviction.

Carlisle joined his son against the base of the tree, and the two sat in silence. Ahead of them, a red glow was still faintly visible through the trees, and the distant voices were muted now. Only a few men remained to watch as fire consumed what was left of the Swan homestead.

At length, Carlisle said, "You know that I have wished this for you, for a long time…ever since Paris. Both Esme and I have."

Edward sighed, feeling the weight of centuries on his shoulders. "She is a young woman, with a full life ahead of her," he countered sadly. "I can offer her nothing."

Carlisle inwardly smiled. Edward did not see himself clearly, but perhaps with a little encouragement…but now was not the time.

He changed the subject.

"You reached her in time, son. Isabella is unharmed, but for the irritation to her lungs. She will recover fully."

Edward visibly relaxed, even breathing a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Carlisle."

"She is staying with the Newtons. I'll take you." Without another word, Carlisle stood, collecting his medical kit, and shot off into the forest, Edward close at his heels. A minute later, the elder man slowed, holding up a hand in warning as they emerged from the woods. Across a small field, Edward saw the back of a three-story house, most of the windows illuminated despite the late hour.

Carlisle gave Edward's shoulder a squeeze. "I'll wish you a good night, son. Please stop in at the house tomorrow. It will ease your mother's mind."

Edward nodded his assent and settled his long frame on the ground.

Cocking his head to one side, he turned his his attention to the overlapping murmur of conversations in the boarding house. Though he didn't hear Isabella speak, the sound of her steadily beating heart reassured him of her safety.

His eyes closed in relief and gratitude. He had come so close to losing her tonight. Never again would he be so careless.

~oOo~

Perched in a cedar tree a safe distance from the burning remains of the Swan homestead, Victoria watched in disappointment as efforts turned to safeguarding the barn nearby.

_So close!_ The fire had missed her real target, only succeeding in killing the father. Still, she reflected, if she had needed proof of Edward's regard for the wretched girl, she now had it. Of course, a suitable interval would be required before making another attempt on her life. It was imperative that Isabella Swan's death appear to be entirely accidental, or Victoria would pay with her head.

She smiled, undaunted. If there was one thing she had learned in her pursuit of Eduardus, it was patience.

Her time would come.

~oOo~

**November (one month later)**

The waxing moon over Newton's Boarding House revealed the lone figure of a man, improbably perched high on an icy window ledge. So still was he that he might have been carved in stone, but for his hair, which whipped about in the wind.

It had been over a millennium since Edward had paid homage to a Roman deity, but tonight he offered up a silent prayer to Diana, asking her to protect the young woman who slept within.

To outward appearances, Isabella had settled in well with the Newtons. But Edward had heard each night as she mourned the loss of her father, often awakening from a nightmare with screams of terror as she relived the fire.

On the first night she had awakened thus, Edward had virtually flown to her window, ready to defend her against any attacker, only to find himself watching helplessly as she sobbed herself back to sleep. Night after night since then, he had listened to her weeping in the aftermath of her nightmares, feeling as though is were his own heart that was breaking. Finally one day, he could bear it no longer.

So it was that tonight found Edward seated on the window ledge, determined to guard Isabella's dreams, and entreating the ancient goddess of his childhood to keep her safe — from _him_. For despite Carlisle's assurances that Edward would not harm his mate, he couldn't push aside the fear that _he_ was the greatest threat to her safety.

He leaned his head against the window frame and tried to block out the heady scent that drifted through the slightly open window. He closed his eyes to avoid the temptation to watch her as she slept. He reminded himself that she was not for him…could _never_ be for him.

Isabella's slumber seemed peaceful for a time, but then she began to whimper and her pulse to quicken. Quickly, Edward eased the window open far enough to slip through, and knelt beside her bed. Isabella quieted then, and Edward took several grateful moments to collect himself.

The night he had rescued her from the fire, heavy smoke had masked the smell of her blood, and the urgent need to save her had been paramount. But now he found himself nearly overwhelmed by her scent, her warmth, the very fact of her nearness...

Then he saw tears begin to slip through her closed eyelids, and he forgot all else.

Reaching out a trembling hand, Edward ever so gently stroked the hair back from Isabella's face. He paused, swallowing venom, and then repeated the gesture. Isabella sighed, her face growing peaceful under his reverent touch. Then she turned her cheek into his hand, and an unfamiliar warmth stirred in Edward's chest. Almost unconsciously, he settled himself on the floor by her side and began to hum a simple lullaby, watching her with eyes that had turned dark with hunger — but of what kind, he was no longer able to say.

* * *

**A/N: Aestuere = to burn with emotion; to waver**

**Please be kind and review. Thanks!  
**


	8. Reperire

**A/N: Twilight=not mine. If only.  
**

**Thank you so much to those who have been promoting this story! I appreciate it more than I can say.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 8 -** _**Reperire** _

* * *

**February (three months later)**

Isabella sat at her bedroom window just before dawn, looking out at the fresh snow that had fallen as she slept. A heavy mist blanketed the field below, and she could just make out a family of deer, picking their way along the edge of the forest to nibble at the saplings there.

She had been here at her window for quite some time, thinking. Observing.

She pulled up the sash and examined the outside ledge, comparing it with the one ten feet to the right which served the bedroom next to hers. The snow on her ledge (and hers alone) clearly showed the mark of something large having rested there.

It was strange — except that it wasn't. Because last night, Isabella had definitely, without doubt, seen the silhouette of a man sitting outside her window.

She looked down and noted the smooth, featureless outer wall of the house. She saw that the snow on the ground below her window was perfectly unblemished. Clearly, there was no way he could have gained the outside window ledge, save by climbing out through her bedroom window.

This, of course, presupposed that the man had entered her room from the hallway. However, as this was a boarding house, her door was fitted with a sturdy deadbolt, which she locked without fail before going to sleep.

So the man on the window ledge could not have gotten there by climbing out her bedroom window, nor had he scaled the outside wall, nor used a ladder to gain his perch.

Isabella sat and looked out her bedroom window, and for the first time in many months…she felt happy.

_Her angel was real._

~oOo~

**April**

Two months later, Bella made her way over the dew-soaked grass toward the henhouse, a basket bumping at her hip. She yawned into the back of her hand; she had been awake since the wee hours of the morning, too excited to sleep.

_A voice penetrated Isabella_ _'_ _s consciousness, beckoning to her sweetly from above. Its allure was irresistible, and she followed gladly, floating upward until the warmth of her soft feather bed welcomed her to wakefulness. Her eyes drifted open._

_Startled masculine eyes met hers, and then he was gone, so quickly that she would have doubted his presence, were it not for the gentle sway of the curtains at the window._

"Isabellaaaaa!"

A shrill voice cut through Bella's daydream, spurring her into action. Quickly moving through the henhouse, she filled her basket with eggs as the birds fussed at the disruption. Her task complete, she hurried back to the kitchen where her aunt stood by the fire, her face pinched into a scowl.

"Isabella Swan, what kept you? Michael has the wagon loaded for market and only waits for you!"

"Forgive me, Aunt Katherine." Keeping her head down, Bella sped through the common room and out the front door to find her cousin leaning against the wagon, a grin on his boyish face.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…" He took the basket from her and chucked her gently under the chin. "What was it this time…more angelic visitations? _Leprechauns_?"

Bella huffed an errant lock of dark hair out of her face and gave him an indulgent smile. "I'll thank you to lower your voice, Michael Newton. Don't make me sorry I confided in you!"

He leapt into the wagon, settling the basket at his feet. "Just don't give my mother any more cause for agitation." He leaned close, as if in confidence. "She is daft as it is."

With a tip of his hat, Michael slapped the reins lightly on the horses' backs, swinging the wagon down the carriage trail toward the main street of town.

Bella sighed and regarded the boarding house, where Aunt Katherine lay in wait. Her poor Uncle Frank had died of softening of the brain two months ago, and ever since, her aunt had dropped all pretense of cordiality. She straightened her apron and hurried back inside, hoping to slip through undetected.

Luck was with her; she heard her aunt through the dining room door, speaking with one of the new boarders in a simpering voice.

"Certainly, Mr. Hunter, we can move you to another room. There is one available on the third floor, with windows on opposing sides. The breeze is quite refreshing in the summer months."

Bella paused to listen to Hunter's low response, but was unable to make out what he was saying. With a shudder, she slipped into the kitchen, her pulse beginning to race. What was Aunt Katherine thinking, giving the room adjacent to hers to a male boarder? Eyeing the mound of bread dough that awaited her attention, she began to pound and knead it, relishing the opportunity to vent her frustration.

Aunt Katherine had always disapproved of Bella's mother, finding Renee's eccentric ways distasteful, not to mention her French heritage. As for Bella, Katherine often opined that her niece had no excuse for taking after her flighty mother, having been born and raised in the stolid and respectable Washington Territory. Bella was endlessly grateful for Michael's moderating influence on his mother, but it would be only a matter of time until he married and moved into a house of his own.

_Marriage_. She hadn't given the idea more than a passing thought, despite her aunt's broad hints that it was well past time for her to settle on someone. She'd had no interest in joining other girls in mooning about after every boy who tipped his hat. Certainly, they could be pleasant enough when they wished, but she longed for a grand love such as her parents had known. Unbidden, Bella's thoughts turned to haunting dark eyes, and a voice singing to her in the darkness.

Her aunt's abrupt entrance interrupted Bella's reverie. Quickly, she returned to her kneading, lest she incur more of Katherine's displeasure.

"When you finish with that, there is bedding to be washed, at the foot of the stairs. Oh, and a Mr. James Hunter will be occupying the room adjacent to yours beginning this evening. Make sure the room is made presentable well before then. And be quiet about it – I have a dreadful headache and am going to sleep." Not pausing to hear her response, Katherine swept up the back staircase.

_At least the laundry will take me outdoors for a while,_ Bella thought _._ She quickly finished the bread and set the loaves to rise by the warmth of the fire. She was passing back through the kitchen with the laundry in her arms when she caught the family mutt, Jack, trying to sample the dough.

"Oh, no you don't! Outside, you! I will bring you a treat in a bit." She shooed the little terrier mix out the back door and set water to heat on the stove for the laundry, then crept quietly up the stairs to see what needed to be done to prepare Mr. Hunter's room.

Finding the window curtains far from fresh, she was reaching up to remove them when she glanced out and caught sight of the dog far below, furtively making his way to the edge of the woods. His strange behavior gave her pause, and she watched more intently as he sank to the ground to crawl on his stomach the last few yards, tail wagging madly. _What on earth?_ _…_

The little dog disappeared into the woods and did not reappear.

Bella quickly gathered the dusty curtains and made her way to the back yard, adding them to her growing pile of laundry. She straightened her back and shielded her eyes against the sun, trying to see into the gloom of the trees, but the thick growth yielded no answers. She looked back toward the house; the water wouldn't be hot enough for some time. Her decision made, she removed her apron and started across the field toward the spot where Jack had disappeared into the trees.

Peering into the shadows at the forest edge, she saw a deer trail cutting through the firs. Her feet were silent on the mossy forest floor as she followed the path, pausing occasionally to listen. The forest was strangely quiet, but she could hear Jack scuffling in the distance, and the occasional eager whimper.

Then she spied Jack trotting toward her from ahead on the trail and she sighed with relief, crouching down to greet him — but the silly thing stopped a few feet away from her to sit at the base of an ancient oak. He stared fixedly up into the branches, tail thumping the ground. Bella tilted her face up to follow the little dog's gaze, wondering what sort of animal had him so captivated. At first she could make out nothing, but then a breeze caused the leaves to shift.

Perilously high in the upper reaches of the oak, a young man balanced on a narrow branch, looking down at her.

" _Don_ _'_ _t be afraid._ _"_

Letting out a shriek, Bella stumbled back, landing on her bottom, her hair spilling out of its loose bun.

" _Isabella!_ _"_ The man stepped off the branch and dropped some fifty feet straight to the ground to land gracefully a few yards from her.

"Isabella!" he cried again, striding toward her, "Are you injured?!"

In response, Bella fainted dead away.

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**A/N:** _**Reperire =** _ **to discover, learn**

**I know, I know...she fainted. Lame. Hey, Bella didn't get much sleep last night, and Aunt Katherine has been running her ragged. And she wasn't prepared.  
**

**You might faint, too, if you were going to see what the damn dog had gotten into, and _Edward Anthony Masen Cullen_ suddenly dropped at your feet, in all his glorious hotness. I'm pretty sure _I_ would. ;)  
**

**A review or comment would be so lovely. The box is right below. Thanks. xo**


	9. Confidere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended

**Chapter 9: Confidere**

 

A cool hand cradled Bella's face, stroking lightly. Half asleep, she turned toward the comforting presence, but in an instant, it was gone.

Her eyes opened to a canopy of leaves overhead, rustling in the gentle breeze. Jack lay next to her, contentedly gnawing at a bone.

_Jack!_

With a start, Bella remembered why she was in the forest. She scrambled to her feet and spun in a circle, searching for any sign of the young man. Failing that, she looked up into the branches overhead, but they were as empty as the forest floor. She was alone.

Tears of frustration filled her eyes, and she angrily dashed them away, turning toward home. _If he wishes to hide, then so be it…_

Bella stopped short. There in the shadows was a man's jacket, folded neatly on the ground where she had been lying. Very slowly, as if any sudden move would cause the precious garment to disappear, she knelt beside it.

Had the young man taken off his jacket and placed it under her head as a pillow? Her stomach fluttered as she realized that he must have done. She glanced around once more, then lifted the jacket to her face and breathed in the subtle fragrance permeating the garment. A delicious warmth soothed her wounded pride, and she felt a flush heat her cheeks.

Hugging the jacket to her chest, she called to Jack and retraced her steps to the boarding house, not the least bit concerned about the reception she would find when she arrived.

~oOo~

That evening found Bella ensconced in her room, the door bolted earlier than usual, for she had no idea what kind of hours Mr. Hunters kept. Her chores complete and the house mostly quiet, she settled into a chair by the window and gazed out toward the tree line. Jack rested his chin on her knee, and she absently stroked his head as she pondered her angelic young man.

Presently she heard Michael on the stairs, followed by the gentle thud of his bedroom door closing on the floor below. At last, the household was settled! She tiptoed to her wardrobe and reached to the back where she had hidden the jacket, then spread it carefully on her bed.

There it lay, as tempting as Pandora's box. The cut and fabric were very fine, and she wondered where he had obtained such rich attire. Unable to resist, she stroked her fingers along the slender lapel, then drew back, guiltily biting a fingernail.

She sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the jacket out of the corner of her eye. _I really should not._ One of her knees began to bounce, and she squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to shore up her resistance. _It would be wrong. Obviously._

Then she recalled that this man, whose privacy she was guarding, was the same one who (she was nearly certain) had been _in her bedroom_ the previous evening. Her conscience assuaged, she gleefully pounced upon the jacket and reached into a pocket, pulling out…a blue plaid ribbon.

Bella gasped, for she recognized the ribbon as one she had lost the previous week while walking home from town. Its companion was in her bureau drawer! She eagerly continued her search.

In the breast pocket she found a handkerchief with the initials "EAMC" monogrammed in an elegant script. Bella traced her finger over the letters, then smoothed the handkerchief over her bed pillow, blushing at the intimacy of the gesture. _If he can keep my ribbon, surely I can have his handkerchief,_ she reasoned.

She gathered the jacket across her lap and stroked her hand across the fabric, trying to remember his features, but their encounter had been too brief and too startling for her to recall much. Holding the jacket high, she noted its length. _Surely he is unusually tall._ She shivered in pleasure at the thought.

Next, Bella opened the jacket to touch its silk inner lining, and her eyes fell upon a folded piece of paper protruding from the inside breast pocket. Written along the edge of the paper, clearly visible, was her name, Isabella Swan.

Bella frowned in confusion. How could this have been left in the jacket for her to find, when he couldn't have known she would follow him into the woods that morning? She drew the paper out and unfolded it to read.

_April the 24th_

_My Dear Miss Swan,_

_I beg you to excuse this unorthodox letter of introduction. I am sure you would like to know how the letter came to be in my jacket pocket, and I_ _will_ _tell you, but I am afraid that tale must wait for another time._

_First, please know that I hold you in the very highest esteem. For, though you do not know me, I have known you, have been nearby, for some time — long enough to know your character, your strength, and your kindness._

_My high regard for you has kindled a strong desire to keep you safe. To my frustration, circumstances have required that I watch over your safety only from a distance, and without your knowledge, for which I beg your forgiveness._

_Yet you are perceptive, and I have grown careless. I feared you had caught sight of me on several occasions, but last night, I was certain of it. Still, I hoped you would ascribe what you had seen to an overactive imagination._

_In the end of course, it was little Jack who took matters out of our hands. It seems that he has grown rather attached to me, most likely due to the sausages with which I regularly buy his silence. When you followed him into the woods and caught sight of me in the light of day, I knew my fate was sealed, and yours as well._

_For, as you surely have realized by now, I am not like other men. I am dangerous, Miss Swan, more than you can possibly imagine. And my true nature_ _must_ _remain hidden. Should my enemies suspect that I have taken you into my confidence, they would respond with deadly violence against both of us._

_I am filled with remorse that I have placed you in this danger…yet I fear that I no longer have the strength to stay away from you._

_I can never offer you, nor ask of you, what my heart most deeply desires — for I am not worthy to be with you as a man should be with a woman. But, what I will ask of you is this: that you would permit me to continue as your protector, for as long as you would have me. I must keep my distance, but know that if you are ever in distress, you need only call out to me, and I will come._

_Awaiting your answer with devoted heart,_

_I am,_

_Your servant,_

_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen_

Bella's heart raced, and her mind kept pace, but a single thought surpassed the others:

_Edward._

His name was Edward.

She traced her fingers over the signature and tested his name in her mind, then whispered it in the softest breath possible: _Edward Cullen._

After residing for so long only in her imagination, suddenly the angel had become a _person_ with thoughts and feelings of his own. And he was, at last, an angel no longer…which raised a whole host of questions.

Had it been he who had rescued her from the fire? And what of the mysterious dangers he hinted at? How could he have entered her room at night, or survived his fall from the tree? What manner of man _was_ he?

Should she trust him?

As the questions continued to mount, her happiness turned to trepidation, and the darkness outside her window became menacing.

Was he out there even now, watching?

Unshed tears pricked her eyes, and she squeezed them shut, trying to ward off the wave of loss and sadness that threatened to engulf her. Her beloved angel — the one who had offered salvation in her time of grief — was gone. Worse, he had _never been_. In his place was a man she didn't know…a man she feared. With a sob, she flung the jacket aside, and tears coursed down her cheeks as she mourned the loss of her angel.

Grief was all too familiar. But this time, there would be no one to comfort her.

~oOo~

The next morning after breakfast, Bella went to her room and retrieved the jacket from her closet, determined to return it to the woods. She would need to wrap it in something in order to sneak it out of the house. She turned to retrieve a blanket from the chest and froze, her eyes huge.

Her cousin, Michael, stood just inside her door, which must not have latched properly, for she had not heard it open. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he wore an impish smirk.

"Bella, whose jacket is that?" His eyebrows looked as if they might disappear into his hairline, and Bella groaned inwardly, even as her mind raced to find a possible explanation.

"Mr. Hunter!" she blurted. "He...asked me to launder it." Michael looked at the jacket doubtfully, and truly, it did appear to be quite clean.

"It has a disagreeable odor. Mr. Hunter has a…condition." Bella cringed even as the words left her mouth. Michael continued to smirk as he backed out of the door.

"Very well, cousin, if you say so. But don't get too close to Mr. Hunter. He gives me a bad feeling. And let me know if you want to talk about anything." He gave her a meaningful look and closed the door behind him.

Bella slumped on the bed. How could she have been so careless as to leave the door ajar? If her Aunt Katherine had found her thus, she would never have allowed Bella to get away with such a weak explanation. She hurriedly wrapped the jacket in a wool blanket and managed to slip out of the house and across the yard unnoticed.

She had intended to return the jacket to the spot in which she had found it, but once she reached the woods, she lost her nerve, instead placing it at the head of the trail. She returned to the house, trying to ignore the feeling that she had just betrayed a friend.

Reaching her bedroom, she noticed something white, barely visible under the bed. With a sigh, she picked up Edward's handkerchief and tucked it into her apron pocket, then crossed to the window to look out.

Had he found the jacket yet? For a long time she stood there, looking out toward the trees, lost in thought.

~oOo~

James Hunter watched as the Swan woman made her way across the field, and idly wondered where she was off to with the bundle in her arms. She may not be as buxom as he liked, but she was intriguing, nonetheless, if only because she was so aloof.

Hunter loved women. He loved the chase, he loved the conquest, but most of all, he loved to make them writhe in pain. Occasionally, he forgot himself and went too far, landing himself with a mess to clean up and a body to hide; it was one of the reasons he never stayed long in one place.

Yes, the Swan woman was interesting. Perhaps this town wouldn't be as tedious as he had imagined.

~oOo~

Much later that day, Bella grabbed a basket from the kitchen wall and walked out into the afternoon sunshine, heading for the garden to pick vegetables. Hearing footsteps behind her, she turned to find Mr. Hunter dogging her steps, a strange smirk on his face.

She gave him a polite nod and continued into the garden, moving along the rows and trying her best to ignore him as he leaned his elbows on the garden fence. His broad smile was strangely unsettling. Finally she turned to face him, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. "Is there something I can help you with, Mr. Hunter?"

His smile was more of a leer now. "I certainly do hope so, _my lovely Isabella_."

Bella's spine stiffened in anger. "I have not given you leave to use my given name, Mr. Hunter. I will thank you to remember that, as well as the fact that I am not _your_ anything!" She moved to the far end of the garden, hoping he would take the hint and leave.

Hunter tracked her movements. "Now Miss Swan, there's no need to be that way. Your cousin approached me, you know. Warned me to keep my distance from you. Imagine my surprise, since you and I have barely spoken two words since my arrival."

Bella continued gathering vegetables, biting her tongue against a retort.

Hunter continued, "Would you believe..." he chuckled, "...he was annoyed with me for asking you to launder a jacket of mine? Now, _how_ would he have gotten that idea…Miss Swan?"

Bella groaned in annoyance and moved away again, the fact that she had contributed in no small part to this predicament adding to her frustration. She glanced toward the house, but knew that no help would come from there, as everyone was in town.

Hunter swung his leg over the garden fence and followed her through the rows. "You know, _Miss Swan_ ," he emphasized her name insultingly, "if you are interested in me, you need only say so. I always have time for a sweet bit of goods such as yourself."

Bella drew herself up to her full height and lifted her chin, her voice scathing. "Mr. Hunter, I am sorry that you were implicated in a misunderstanding between my cousin and me. However, that does not excuse your deplorable behavior. So that there can be no further confusion, allow me to be perfectly clear. I have no interest in you, whatsoever, nor do I welcome your advances. I would sooner kiss a snake."

With that, she turned and fled toward the relative safety of the house, but Hunter's cold laughter followed in her wake.

His voice chilling, he sang after her, "You have made a mistake, Isabella. You see, I do love a challenge."

Bella hurried her steps, her heart pounding, but Hunter kept pace. He seized her elbow, and she whirled on him furiously, crying, "Do not lay your hands on me!"

Hunter grabbed her other arm as well, giving an ugly laugh as she struggled and cried out, the basket of vegetables tumbling to spill at her feet.

"Calm yourself, Miss Swan. I promise to make this good." His breath reeked of onions as he leaned his head in close, and she strained away from him, her stomach churning.

He quickly pulled both her hands into one of his and grabbed her hair with his free hand, jerking her face up to his. "You might as well decide to enjoy this, because there is no one here to stop me."

Suddenly her attacker was gone, snatched away in an instant. Bella stumbled, and hearing a crash behind her, spun around to see Hunter lying crumpled against the house's stone foundation. Edward towered over him, his back to her as he pulled Hunter up by the scruff of his jacket.

Hunter attempted to land a blow on his rival's face, but Edward smashed him against the house once more, then flung him away with a roar. Hunter went sailing a good ten feet to land in a heap, moaning.

Edward crossed to where Hunter lay on the ground and snarled, "If you _ever_ touch the lady again, you will not live long enough to regret it." Hunter whimpered and rolled away, cringing.

A thrill raced up Bella's spine as she watched, awestruck. _This_ was the Edward in the letter, the dangerous man and fierce protector. Even the champion of her imagination paled in comparison.

Edward bent to speak menacingly near Hunter's ear. "You will leave this place, _now_. Do not let me see you again."

Hunter staggered to his feet and frantically limped away, fleeing toward the road.

When he had disappeared from sight, Edward turned to find Bella still standing on the path, hands covering her mouth and tears streaming down her cheeks. Not wanting to frighten her further, he approached with measured step, and then hesitantly offered her a handkerchief from his pocket.

Bella smiled tearfully at him and pulled one from her apron with a shaky laugh. "I already have one of yours."

A stray wisp of hair teased her cheek, and Edward's hands ached to brush it back, to wipe away the tears that lingered there. But he folded his hands behind his back, and took a small step back. "I am glad."

Seeing the spilled vegetables, Edward knelt to gather them for her, then he walked her to the house, holding the kitchen door as she stepped inside. Bella turned and offered him her hand. "Mr. Cullen, I cannot thank you enough. I don't know what would have happened, had you not intervened."

Edward hesitated, finally taking her proffered hand gingerly in his own cool one. He slowly raised his eyes to meet hers, fearing her reaction to his touch, but found only gratitude there.

"I promised to protect you," he said. "It is my very great honor to do so." Then he smiled ruefully. "Though I must confess that this is not how I envisioned our first meeting."

"Nor I." Bella found herself staring into mesmerizing golden-brown eyes, and suddenly she was unable to speak another word.

But his eyes were hidden from her as he looked down at their joined hands. "You returned my letter," he murmured.

"I did," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I..." She faltered, and he quickly looked up.

" _Don't_ be," he said. "You have done nothing wrong." He swallowed and looked away, and this time it was he who faltered. "I…heard you crying last night, after you read it. I…"

He met her eyes sadly. "I apologize for frightening you." She gave him a teary nod in acknowledgment.

"My family will see to it that Hunter is well and truly gone before sundown. My parents' house is on the north carriage trail, about three miles up. Please..." He closed his eyes and continued, "Please go to them, if you ever have need. They will help you." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and opened his eyes.

"You are safe, Miss Swan. Please, don't be afraid." He released her hand and stepped back from the threshold. "And, I don't want you to worry. So I give you my word...you will never have to see me again."

Edward turned away and began to walk toward the forest.

" _Wait!"_ Bella took several steps after him, her heart suddenly in her throat. He stopped, then slowly turned toward her, though he kept his face averted.

"Mr. Cullen," she said softly, "I apologize for failing to give you a reply to your letter. Please...allow me to make it up to you."

"You don't wish me to leave?" he asked lowly, "I do not…frighten you?"

"I'm not afraid of you," she answered, taking another step forward, "Not any more. I trust you."

Edward searched her eyes and saw the affirmation there. "Not any more," he repeated. "I am glad." And the hint of a smile touched his lips.

Bella gestured awkwardly toward the kitchen behind her. "May I offer you a cup of tea?...or coffee?" The smile that lit his face then was so sweet, so genuine, that her heart seemed to skip a beat.

"Nothing would please me more," he replied, "but…I am afraid it _is_ urgent that I first speak with my family about Mr. Hunter." A bit unsure, he asked, "But…perhaps later?"

"The others will return before long, but it might be possible, after supper…when they are asleep," she offered, biting her lip.

"Tonight then," he replied, and took her hand in his. "I look forward to it more than you can know."

Gently, Edward lifted her hand to his lips and brushed a kiss across her skin. His smile, when he stood back, was as radiant as the sun.

And the beauty of her answering smile was such, that, for the first time…Edward began to hope.

* * *

**A/N: Confidere = to trust completely**

**If you're enjoying reading this story, won't you please leave a comment?**


	10. Dedere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intend

**Chapter 10 - Dedere**

Edward tracked Hunter far enough to be certain the brute was still headed into town, then returned to his post at the edge of the forest and paced. It was impossible to remain still — his body hummed with energy, the instinct to protect his mate all-consuming.

 _His_ _mat_ _e._

Today had erased all doubt. His reaction to seeing Bella threatened had been overwhelming, like nothing he had experienced in all his centuries of existence. It had taken every ounce of will to keep from ripping Hunter limb from limb.

Bella had retired to her room, bringing Jack with her, and Edward heard her sigh peacefully. Shortly thereafter, her breathing and heartbeat told him she had fallen into an exhausted sleep, and Edward felt his own body relax. He leapt into the branches of an oak and climbed until he could see all approaches to the boarding house, then settled in to wait; one of his family would appear shortly.

Before long, Edward recognized his mother's step, and in a moment she was beside him on the branch, her skirts tucked into her waistband. Esme demurely rearranged her dress, and Edward grinned at her display of decorum, sixty feet up a tree.

"Good afternoon, Esme," Edward said fondly. "This is a pleasant surprise."

She looked very pleased with herself as she replied, "I traded with Carlisle. I never get to have any fun, and Emmett said things were getting interesting." She waggled her eyebrows at him in a fair impersonation of his annoying brother.

Edward chuckled at her antics, but at length, grew serious again. "Emmett was right. This afternoon, one of the boarders assaulted Isabella."

Esme gasped, "Oh, Edward, no!"

"She wasn't harmed," he replied, "I was close by and intervened. But if I had not been there…"

All at once, he was flooded with images of Bella's terrified face as Hunter restrained her arms, towering over her. Edward's breathing grew ragged. "Esme…he would have _raped_ her! _Jesus!_ " He pulled at his hair, trying to banish the horrific images from his mind.

Esme took his hand in hers and held on tightly. "But he didn't, Edward. You didn't let him, and Isabella is safe in her room. Edward… _listen_." He finally did as she asked, closing his eyes as he focused on the sound of Isabella's heart, steady in sleep.

After a time, the tension left his body, and Esme asked, "Where is the man who attacked her now?"

Edward grimaced in disgust. "As of twenty minutes ago, he was on the road, limping toward town."

"And you want him far away, as soon as possible, yes?"

Her son smiled grimly. "Do you think you could manage Mexico?"

With a smirk, Esme hopped off the branch to land gracefully on the ground far below. "How about California?" she teased.

Edward chuckled. "I suppose two hundred miles in any direction will do." He described Hunter to his mother, adding, "He was renting the room opposite Isabella's on the third floor. It probably reeks of him."

Esme made a face and started circling around the edge of the woods toward the house, muttering under her breath about the sacrifices she made for her children.

"Thank you, Esme," Edward whispered, and saw her answering back-handed wave.

~oOo~

An hour later, Emmett joined Edward in the tree.

"Sacramento!" Emmett announced with a flourish. "My wife and Esme are taking Hunter…to _Sacramento!_ "

Edward stared, dumbfounded, until realization dawned. "And will they be bringing along an empty trunk?"

"They'll be buying one trunk _each_ to fill with their purchases, once they get there. Rosalie was practically dancing for joy. She and Esme are making their shopping lists as we speak. Hunter's tied up in the cellar." Emmett swung off the branch and hung by his knees, arms dangling below. "Something is off about that man. Glad they're taking him far away."

"What did he say?" Edward asked warily.

"That he's very much looking forward to having his revenge for the beating you gave him, dear brother. And he's angry about missing his chance at Isabella. We gagged him."

"I should have killed him," Edward replied grimly, and Emmett didn't disagree.

"Hard to justify, now that the danger is past, though," his brother said sympathetically, "and you couldn't have killed him right in front of her." He gave an upside-down shrug.

Edward waited a few beats, then said, "I agreed to have tea with Isabella tonight."

Emmett swung back up onto the branch and looked at his brother in astonishment. "You are serious."

Edward nodded.

Emmett clapped him on the back. "Edward, that's…" He stopped when he took in his brother's expression.

"I should have refused."

Emmett's shoulders slumped. "I thought you had finally come around."

"Nothing has changed," Edward replied bitterly. "If the Volturi were to discover us…"

"We are _thousands_ of miles from Volterra," Emmett interrupted.

"It's still a risk! Aro knows where we are," Edward retorted. "But even if we do escape the notice of the Volturi…who will protect Isabella from _me_?"

"I know you're afraid," Emmett said quietly. "But, Edward…Isabella is your mate. She's worth fighting for." Edward was silent, and Emmett left him to his thoughts.

At last Edward said lowly, "If I ever needed confirmation that I'm a monster, at last I have it. For I'm terrified that I'm going to kill the one woman who has ever taken my heart…and yet, I'm going to risk her very life, to satisfy my own selfish desires."

Emmett sighed. "Edward, you're not going to hurt her. Maybe some day you'll believe that. But in the meantime…" he smiled, "I'm glad you have decided to give Isabella a chance."

Emmett dropped to the ground and strode away, calling back, "I'll see you tomorrow, Edward." When he was almost out of sight, he sang teasingly, "Enjoy your tea!"

Edward leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes, images of Isabella taunting him as he wrestled with his conscience. He would go to her in the end, he knew; he would be unable stay away.

~oOo~

The coals in the hearth let off a dim glow as Bella crept into the kitchen, closing the door silently behind her. She quickly built up the fire and put water on for tea, then sat in a rocking chair to wait. A log popped on the fire, making her jump, and she wrung her hands nervously in the fabric of her robe, willing herself to be calm.

Suddenly, Jack trotted to the window, jumping up to rest his front feet on the wall below. Unable to reach the sill, he backed up several paces and sat, trembling with eagerness, tail wagging madly. Bella rose from her chair to peer out into the darkness.

The moon illuminated Edward's tall form, just emerging from the forest. He covered the ground quickly, the sinuous grace of his stride making her think of a jungle cat stalking its prey, and Bella felt the small hairs stand up on the back of her neck. He caught sight of her watching and lowered his eyes, his bashful smile lending him an almost boyish appearance.

Heart fluttering with excitement, Bella hurried to the door, pausing just a moment to take a shaky breath before pulling it open.

Edward stood looking up at her, his hands behind his back, his attempt at looking serious hampered by the little dog wiggling at his feet.

"Mr. Cullen," Bella said somewhat breathlessly, "how good of you to come."

"Miss Swan, thank you for your kind invitation," he responded with a little bow. Bella giggled, and Edward follow her gaze downward to where Jack was now comically jumping in place, trying to reach his jacket pocket.

"You have forgotten to pay your accomplice," Bella observed, eyes twinkling.

"So I have," Edward chuckled, and he crouched down to scratch Jack behind the ears. "I'm sorry little one," he murmured, "It has been a busy day, and I have no treats for you." He rose, and Jack trotted at his heels as Edward followed Bella into the dimly lighted kitchen.

She took his jacket and turned to hang it on a peg, and Edward drew a cautious breath, closing his eyes to steel himself against the burn in his throat.

"Won't you sit down?" she asked, blushing prettily.

Edward folded his long legs under the sturdy work table, watching as Bella poured steaming water into the tea kettle and placed the lid on top to let it steep.

She joined him at the table, and he leaned toward her. "Miss Swan, I hope you have recovered from the terrible shock you suffered today."

"I have…thanks to you. You may call me Isabella. But…well, I would like it, if you called me Bella."

"Bella," he murmured with a smile, "I'm relieved that you are well. Please call me Edward."

Bella studied his face in the gentle glow of the candle, finally able to look her fill. Thick lashes fringed his honey-colored eyes, while dark brows arched above, and his sculpted cheekbones led down to sinfully curved lips and a chiseled jaw. Her gaze traveled lower still to take in the way Edward's tailored shirt emphasized his leanly muscled frame, his broad shoulders...

Suddenly Bella became aware that she was biting her lip as she rudely ogled her guest, and her eyes flew back up to his face. "I-I'm sorry!" she sputtered, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment. "I'm being so rude!" She wrung her hands in her lap and fretted, "What must you think of me…after what happened today…then inviting you in late at night and with no chaperone, and now…"

But Edward cut her off, "Bella, no! Please, there is nothing for which to apologize." She shook her head in self-reproach.

"What must I _think_ of you?" Edward shook his head in amazement but his voice gentled as he asked,

"Bella, please…will you look at me?" Reluctantly she did as he requested.

"Bella…I think you are courageous, and strong. You have a generous nature, and a kind heart. I think…" He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, the transparent devotion she saw there nearly took her breath away. "Bella…you are the most _remarkable_ woman I have ever known."

Bella's eyes grew wide as she stared back at him. Finally, she murmured vaguely, "I think the tea must be ready."

He gave her an affectionate smile and agreed, "I think it must."

Blinking rapidly, Bella rose and went to pour their tea. She stood with her back to him, pretending to arrange scones on a tray as she tried to make sense of her swirling emotions _._

She had no illusions about her appearance, nor her station in life. She was no one special, while he…he truly _was_ remarkable. He was the most devastatingly handsome, charming man she had ever encountered. She could feel herself already falling under his spell, and it made her feel terribly vulnerable.

Edward's quiet voice interrupted her thoughts. "I have said too much," he said, his voice heavy with remorse. "It was not my intention to cause you distress. Please forgive me, Bella. I'll go now."

"Please stay."

She turned and found him already standing, already poised to leave. With dismay, she realized that she had hurt him, just as she had that morning when she had returned his letter unanswered.

"You know," Bella said at last, "my mother always used to say there is no problem that can't be solved by a nice cup of tea."

Edward's mouth quirked up on one side, and he replied, "Then I am in your mother's debt. And yours."

Relieved that he had accepted her peace offering, Bella brought the laden tray to the table and served the tea, trying not to stare at the beautiful man opposite her. This became difficult, however, when Edward bit into a scone and hummed appreciatively, the low rumble fairly making her toes curl. Then he licked a crumb from his lips, and she had to look away, the urge to perform the task for him nearly overwhelming. What was wrong with her?!

"Have you been enjoying the fine weather of late?" he asked.

She giggled, and clapped a hand over her mouth, beginning to feel a bit hysterical at the surreal nature of the situation in which she found herself.

Edward tilted his head. "What is it?"

She took a breath to steady herself, and then teased, "You are asking me about the weather?"

"I want to know." He looked down, chastened. "I want to know everything about you, Bella. I am sorry if that sounds inappropriate. It is the truth."

"I enjoyed the sunshine," she said softly. "But I like all kinds of weather, really…even the cold."

"Even the cold," he repeated softly with the hint of a smile, making her wonder at its cause. Still, he did not meet her gaze.

Working up her courage, she said, "I would like to know about you as well."

His brows furrowed, and she rushed on nervously, "I know you have said you must guard your secrets, but perhaps I could ask just a few questions?…"

He looked up, for a moment appearing at a loss for words. "Bella…I _want_ to share more of myself with you, but…"

She pleaded with her eyes, willing him to agree, and with a sigh, he relented. "Very well. I will try to answer your questions."

"Oh, thank you!" she said, beaming, "I have a list, but I didn't want to presume…"

Edward chuckled at her enthusiasm as she pulled a piece of paper from the pocket of her robe.

Bella stared at her list of questions, unable to give voice to even one. She finally looked up with a sheepish smile. "I am finding this much more difficult than I imagined, now that I have you sitting in front of me."

"May I see?" he asked, and she gratefully laid the list in front of him.

As he read it, his face fell.

"Edward…why do you look so sad?" she asked softly.

His face grew wistful. "I am sad because I don't want this to end. I wish to be honest with you, but I know that once I answer your questions…you won't see me the same way."

"You're wrong," she said, suddenly sure of herself. "You say that I don't know you, Edward…but I do."

At his doubtful expression, she went on, "I was so lost after my father died, and you helped me find my way back. When I was frightened and alone, _you_ made me feel safe, and cherished. You were there for me today, when I needed you most. Edward…I _know_ you."

Edward was scowling down at his hands, which he had wrapped around his mug of tea. She reached across the table and took his large hand in hers, and for some reason, he seemed almost startled by the simple gesture.

Edward swallow thickly. "This is going to be difficult to hear, and even more difficult to believe," he said, "but I swear to you, it is the truth." She smiled in encouragement.

"Bella, I am not… like you. I _used_ to be… but I have not been for a very long time."

He watched her as he said this, seeming to gauge her reaction, then went on, "You have noticed things about me that are…unusual."

"Yes," she said, "Your eyes."

"Yes. What else?"

"Your skin is pale."She looked down at his hand in hers, **"** And it's very cool to touch."

Edward rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. "What else?"

She took a deep breath; this was where her observations seemed to become fantastical. "You are unusually strong, and agile. You dropped a great distance from the tree with no ill effects. And you lifted Mr. Hunter off the ground and threw him with little effort."

"All that you say is true."

He watched her carefully, then continued, "There is more. Shall I go on?"

Bella held his gaze and didn't flinch. "Yes. I want to know. Please, tell me."

He nodded and spoke quietly. "When I say that I have not been like you for a very long time…I mean many, many years."

Her spine tingled at this unexpected turn. Why did it matter how long ago he had become afflicted?

"How many years?" she asked.

He watched her steadily. "One thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five."

The clock ticked, and the logs in the fireplace shifted and popped. Jack groaned and rolled to his other side.

"You're joking."

"No. I am not."

Without conscious thought, she withdrew, pulling her hands protectively into her lap. "Edward…" She looked away, unable to hold his gaze. "Either you are insane, or I am insane."

"You are not insane. Nor am I. Bella…I am sorry."

Her heart began to race, and with a cry, Bella rushed to the window, throwing it open and gulping in the cool night air. This was so far beyond anything she had imagined — surely, it was madness! What he was suggesting was impossible.

And yet…

…with her own eyes, she had seen him fall from a height that should have crippled or killed a man, watched as he sent Hunter flying. She had seen him outside her window, against all reason…

Bella leaned her forehead against the cool glass and closed her eyes.

Night sounds met her ears; the myriad trills of frogs and insects…an owl calling to her mate…the sweet song of a mockingbird…

 _There are more things in heaven and earth_ _…_

She knew that he was different — miraculously so.

… _than are dreamt of in your philosophy_ _…_

She tried, for a moment, to imagine what it would be like, to live so long…and suddenly she knew.

_Lonely._

"Please…" Edward's voice was barely audible.

She turned to find him standing, his head bowed. One hand gripped the table's edge as if it alone kept him from falling, and her heart constricted painfully at seeing him seem so defeated, so changed.

Carefully she prized his hand away from the table and held it in hers, looking up at him until finally, he met her eyes. "Edward," she said, "Nothing has changed. I still trust you."

He closed his eyes and gathered her hand next to his heart, cradling it there. "Bella," he whispered, "Thank you."

Her throat tight with unshed tears, Bella stepped closer and shyly rested her head against his shoulder. Edward took a shuddering breath. Then slowly, gently, he drew her into his embrace.

_Heaven._

~oOo~

Edward hardly dared move, lest he break whatever spell had allowed this miracle.

_I still trust you._

Her words rang in his mind, kindling unreasonable hope, causing his thoughts to fly in many directions at once, charting previously unimaginable possibilities. A part of him knew that when his head cleared, he would dismiss these possibilities as unattainable fantasies. But for now, the unthinkable had happened. Bella still trusted in him, had willingly walked into his embrace; and while he held her in his arms, he would embrace the fantasy as well.

Edward would have remained thus forever, with pleasure; but he could sense her weariness, and the hours remaining for her to sleep were dwindling.

He bent his head to whisper against her ear, "Bella."

"Mmm." Her response was muffled against his shirt.

"You need to sleep."

"Mmm."He chuckled and nestled his face in her hair, inhaling its fragrance one last time.

"It is late, Bella," he said regretfully.

She roused from her stupor and stepped back, still holding his hand in hers. Heaving a dramatic sigh she said, "I suppose you are right."

The color was high in Bella's cheeks, and Edward couldn't resist reaching out to stroke the heated skin. "I will treasure this night to the end of my days, regardless of what may come. Thank you."

She held his hand against her cheek. "It is I who should be thanking you, Edward. You saved me today." Then she turned her face, and pressed a kiss against his palm.

Edward groaned and pulled away, the touch of her mouth on his skin igniting a long-forgotten hunger. His hand clutched roughly at his hair as he grated out a curse under his breath. Edward's voice was rough as he warned, "Bella, I may be more than a man, but I am still a man. Take care."

Bella calmly sat on the bench, her back to the table. "I'm not afraid of you, Edward. I trust you."

" _Don_ _'_ _t!_ _"_ He paced in agitation. "Bella, you don't understand. You must _not_ test the limits of my self-control."

"Edward, I trust you. You won't hurt me."

Suddenly weary, he sat next to her, his head dropping into his hands. He had been deceiving them both, playing at being something he was not. But her kiss had awakened ancient demons, reminding him what he was, what he had been. "Bella…you should be running from me, either as a madman or as a monster. I shouldn't be taking advantage of your trusting nature. This is wrong."

"No!" she protested, and Bella jumped to her feet to glare down at him. "Edward Cullen, you stop this right now!

"This is _not_ wrong! I know that you feel unworthy. But whatever it is that afflicts you, however it is that you are different…it doesn't matter to me!"

Her voice was tight with emotion as she continued more quietly, "I've been lonely, for so long. But being with you, being in your arms…feels like _home._ It's as if I have been waiting for _you_ , all this time.

"Edward, I just found you…Please, don't leave me."

He rose to his feet, and his eyes were sad as he said, "I am not leaving, Bella. Though you may not see me, I'll always be here, protecting you, for as long as you wish it."

Tears shone in her eyes, and she nearly growled in her frustration, "I don't want your protection, Edward… I want _you!_ "

Her words finally stunned him into silence. He gazed into her sweet, impassioned face, and tried to remember the reasons he should resist.

"I want _you,_ Edward, she whispered again. Her tears spilled free, streaking her cheeks with wetness, and Edward lost the will to fight, his surrender finally complete.

"Bella…" He bent his head, and brushed the lightest of kisses against her cheek, tasting her tears. "Please," he whispered against her skin, "sweetheart, don't cry." He traced his nose along her cheek until his mouth hovered above hers, just a breath away.

"You have me, Bella… I am yours."

* * *

**Dedere: to surrender**

**Thank you for reading - Please review! xo, Linda**


	11. Aperire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"Please," Edward whispered against her skin, "sweetheart, don't cry." He traced his nose along her cheek until his mouth hovered above hers, just a breath away.

"You have me, Bella… I am yours."

~oOo~

Edward leaned his forehead against hers and cursed softly under his breath. "Your cousin is stirring,"

With a gasp, Bella jumped away. She pulled Edward's handkerchief out of her pocket and furiously scrubbed at her face, erasing the evidence of her tears.

"I don't hear anything."

"My senses are much sharper than yours." Edward eyed the ceiling with a wry smile, "I can hear his stomach rumbling. We're about to have a visitor." He gathered his place setting and concealed it behind the woodpile.

Bella stood at the door with his jacket. "How will I find you?" she whispered.

"Come to the deer trail tomorrow, when you can. I'll be waiting." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and slipped out the door, disappearing into the darkness.

Bella turned in time to see Michael walk in, bleary eyed and scratching at his stomach.

"Bella! You're awake very late." He frowned. "I hope you aren't worried about Hunter. I'll deal with him."

"That's very sweet of you, but I just wanted a snack and some tea. Would you like some?" Bella felt guilty at the lie, but it couldn't be helped.

Michael grabbed a hunk of cheese from the pantry and kissed her on the cheek, heading back to the stairs. "No, thank you, cousin. I'm already asleep. I just needed my cheese."

She shook her head at his silliness.

Bella waited until Michael's bedroom door clicked shut before retrieving Edward's dishes from their hiding place. She quickly tidied up and doused the lights, then made her way up to bed, almost at once falling into an exhausted slumber.

Some time later, a silhouette appeared against the window.

Edward settled himself on the familiar ledge. He allowed himself a brief glimpse of Bella's peaceful visage, then rested his head against the glass barrier that separated them. His eyes followed the stars as they spun their ageless course across the heavens…and Edward waited out the night.

~oOo~

The next morning found Bella working alongside her aunt in the garden. Katherine was singing the praises of James Hunter and wondering why he hadn't made an appearance for breakfast. Bella remained noncommittal on the subject, but smiled grimly when her back was turned. Hunter wouldn't be returning for any meals, ever.

She had taken special care with her appearance that morning, selecting her favorite every-day skirt and blouse and leaving her hair down in back. Time seemed to drag as she went through her morning routine, but at last luncheon was cleared, and Aunt Katherine retired to her room for her afternoon nap.

Bella slipped out the kitchen door, bringing a blanket and picnic basket. She smiled as she thought of the last time she had taken this path in search of Jack — had it only been two days? Reaching the oak tree, she spread the blanket on the ground and settled herself to wait, closing her eyes to enjoy the sounds of the forest.

Something that felt suspiciously like a kiss brushed her cheek, and she opened her eyes to find Edward seated on the ground some ten feet away, arms folded behind his head and grinning like a fool.

How could he be even more attractive than she remembered? It was patently unfair. Struggling to appear unaffected, she teased, "You don't have to steal your kisses, you know."

He had the good grace to look sheepish, and came to join her on the blanket. "Don't I?" he asked, leaning close, and she shook her head, his nearness rendering her mute. "That is very good to know," he murmured, and brushed his mouth against her other cheek, lingering to inhale her fragrance before sitting back.

"I'd to take you to a beautiful place I know, farther into the forest….If you don't mind…" He watched her, seeming uncertain of her response, and at last she found her voice.

"I'd love to see it," she said, and was rewarded with his smile.

When they had gathered Bella's things, Edward stepped away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Bella, I don't wish to offend or frighten you, but, to get to this place…It's much too far for you to walk…I will have to carry you."

Bella's eyes widened, and she felt her blush spread to the roots of her hair.

"Forgive me," Edward said quickly, "I shouldn't have suggested it."

"No! There's no need to apologize." She bit her lip. "I was only a bit surprised. You may carry me."

"If you're certain…"

At her nod, Edward grinned with excitement.

"I should show you first," he said. "I'm probably a bit faster than you're expecting. Please don't be alarmed."

She let out a squeak of surprise as Edward streaked away, leaving a path of trembling leaves in his wake. Bella's hair stood on end, and her mind scrambled to keep up with this new revelation. A moment later, she heard a rustling behind her, and whirled around to see Edward emerging from the undergrowth in the opposite direction.

He reached out to place a finger under her chin, gently closing her mouth. He was not even winded.

"That was…you were…" She trailed off, and Edward's face showed growing concern.

Bella finally recovered her equilibrium. "You're marvelous!" she exclaimed. "How wonderful, to be able to run so fast!" Edward heaved a sigh of relief, looking somewhat abashed at her praise.

His expression turned serious as he moved to stand close against her. "You'll need to put your arm behind my neck," he murmured, and Bella complied, a blush coloring her cheeks.

Edward swallowed. "I'm going to pick you up now."

Placing one arm behind her back, he bent to sweep the other under her knees, bringing her up and into his embrace. Their faces were but inches apart as Edward nervously cleared his throat to ask, "Are you well?"

"I'm perfect," she said, and it was true. "Now, my 'more than a man, but still a man'…" Her eyes glinted playfully. "Show me what you can do!"

Suddenly, the nervous boy was no more. Edward raised a dark brow, and the corner of his mouth curled into a wicked smirk. He leaned his head closer, and Bella shivered as he whispered dangerously in her ear:

"You'd better hold on tight."

Her eyes widened, and she tightened her grip as Edward shifted her body more snugly against him.

"I'll start slowly," he said. "Tell me if it's too much."

~oOo~

Bella had braced herself for a bumpy ride, but was amazed to find that Edward was able to navigate the trees and dips of the forest without jarring her. She kept the side of her face pressed against his shoulder and watched as the forest rushed past, her hair streaming behind them.

Edward dipped his head to murmur in her ear, "Your heart is racing. Shall I stop?"

She shook her head and squeezed his neck in reply, not trusting her voice.

"Would you like me to go faster?" She nodded, then let out a squeal as the forest suddenly became a blur, and the wind made her eyes tear.

"Are you well?" he asked once more, and she nodded again, keeping her face buried.

Then they were slowing, little by little, and at last she looked up to see that Edward was carrying her through a stand of birch trees, muted sunlight dappling the forest floor with spots of gold.

Bella gasped with delight as they emerged at last into a sheltered meadow of wildflowers. Edward carefully set her on her feet, holding her waist with both hands to steady her as she swayed a bit at first.

"Bella?" Edward stooped to peer into her face.

With a joyful whoop, she flung her arms into the air and spun away from him to fall back into the soft grass. When she sat up, Edward was seated next to her, his forearms resting on his knees. He wore a satisfied smile.

"Are you proud of yourself?" she asked.

"More proud of you," he said, his face sincere. "You amaze me, Bella." She shook her head in embarrassment.

With a happy sigh, she took in the idyllic scene around them. "Edward…this is so beautiful!"

"I wanted you to see it, to share it with you," he said. Then he shrugged one shoulder self-consciously. "And…I hoped we could learn more about one another."

He took her hand, and for a time, they sat in silence as the breeze made the grasses flow and ripple around them. Edward traced one finger slowly along her forearm, raising goosebumps on the delicate flesh.

"Your skin is so lovely," he whispered, and he frowned in concentration as he turned her hand over to stroke a thumb gently across her palm.

"I can't believe you're here…" he said, "…that I can touch you."

She studied his expression as he continued to graze cool fingers over her skin, his reverence making her heart ache. "I'm here," she whispered, her voice husky. "I trust you."

Bella watched in dismay as a shadow crossed over his features.

"Edward," she said gently, "why don't tell me everything? I can't imagine anything so terrible that it would turn me away."

He sighed then, and closed his eyes. "In that, you are correct," he murmured, "for I'm sure you couldn't imagine such a monster as I." His hand still cradled hers, but now his own was still.

Bella was at a loss. She sat back on her heels and gazed at the multicolored wildflowers swaying in the breeze. Then, unbidden, the image of her mother entered her mind.

~oOo~

"Edward…may I tell you about my mother?"

A small smile stole its way across Edward's face and he chuckled.

"I would like nothing more." He peered up at her through his lashes. "Truly, I would like to know about her, Bella. Please tell me."

She picked a forget-me-not and twirled it for a moment, lost in thought. "Renee, was…unconventional," she began. "She and Charlie were opposites in that regard, but they loved each other, respected each other. But my mom…I remember when I was little, she liked to say, 'Bella, there are so many things that we don't understand….Open your heart and mind, and you'll have a life full of wonder.' And she would tell me stories…"

She paused, and Edward gently squeezed her hand. "Please, go on," he said. "Your mother sounds like an amazing woman."

Bella nodded and continued, "She liked to tell me the stories that she had heard as a child…her father was French, but my grandmother was from Scotland, and those were the stories I loved the most, full of magical creatures and people…and when I asked if they were true, my mother would say that the world was so old, and so vast, that most anything was possible."

Edward's face had grown pensive as he listened.

"So you see…," she said with a small shrug, "I was taught at an early age, that you, Edward, are possible…. and that I shouldn't be afraid of the things I don't understand."

Edward searched her eyes as she steadily returned his gaze.

He opened his mouth and closed it twice.

Then finally he said, "I…I don't sleep."

Bella's eyebrows rose in surprise. "You don't sleep?"

"No."

"Never?"

He shook his head. "No, not at all."

Suddenly self-conscious, he looked down and picked up a stone, turning it over in his hand as she digested this new piece of information. Her heart sped for a moment, then calmed, and Edward looked up to see that she was watching him expectantly.

"I have told you my age…but you should know that I will never truly grow old, Bella. I'm frozen as I am now, forever. I cannot be destroyed...except with fire."

Now it was Bella who looked away. Edward watched her, frustrated in his desire to gauge her reaction; for though her heart was laboring under some strong emotion, her face remained carefully composed.

But she smiled and nodded for him to continue…and Edward knew that his period of grace had finally come to an end. There was no longer any excuse to keep her from the truth.

_Finally, she'll understand. She will know._

Edward closed his eyes, willing away the fear that threatened to paralyze him.

_This woman was never meant for you. Let her go._

"Edward!" The alarm in Bella's voice pulled him back, and he opened his eyes.

The stone that he had been holding had been reduced to nothing but dust and fragments in his hand. His mouth twisted bitterly…Yet more evidence that he was dangerous, was _other_.

Bella covered his hand with hers, holding tightly. "Edward, whatever it is," she cried, "I won't leave you!" He nodded if only to appease her.

It was time.

"Bella…I don't eat food, or drink, as you do."

Bella frowned in confusion. "But...last night you ate my scones and drank the tea."

Edward stared back at her, completely unprepared for this response. He shrugged lamely. "I…didn't want to hurt your feelings."

She blinked at him, and then burst out in laughter…and Edward helplessly joined in, both of them finally caught up in the absurdity of their predicament.

She gasped, "Oh my lord! Was it awful?"

Nodding emphatically, he managed to choke out, "It tasted like dirt, all of it. I had to puke it up as soon as I got away from the house."

Bella broke into a renewed gale of laughter and rolled onto her back as he followed suit next to her.

Finally she asked breathlessly, "So…you don't eat at all?"

They were lying on their backs, side by side, and she turned to face him, her eyes bright and cheeks flushed with laughter. But her face fell as she saw Edward's expression.

Edward forced himself to answer, even as his eyes silently begged for forgiveness. "I don't eat food or drink as you do…but I do require sustenance."

_Alea iacta est._

He watched in sorrow as her eyes grew distant, making the connections, as he had known she would.

Bella's face paled, and she sat bolt upright, her eyes filling with horror.

"I know what you are."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Aperire: To lay bare, uncover; to reveal**

**Alea iacta est: literally: "The die is cast." Events have passed a point of no return; Something inevitably will happen.**

**Blog with notes/FAQ for the story, timelines, etc. at angelus - ardens . blogspot . com  
**


	12. Ardere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N Thank you to Dolly Reader for recc'ing this story on The Lemonade Stand! Welcome to my new readers, and thank you to the friends who give pep talks when I need them. This chapter begins _in medias res_ , so I included a few lines from the end of the previous chapter, to ease us back in. **

* * *

"I don't eat food or drink as you do…but I do require sustenance."

_Alea iacta est._

He watched in sorrow as her eyes grew distant, making the connections, as he had known she would.

Bella's face paled, and she sat bolt upright, her eyes filling with horror.

"I know what you are."

**.  
**

**.**

Edward knew where her thoughts would lead next.

.

_Monster_

Her breaths came in quick gasps, as panic set in. "My mother told me…I know what you are!"

_Killer_

Edward stood and quickly backed away as Bella stared up at him, wide-eyed.

_Nightmare_

She shook her head, eyes squeezed shut. "Edward," she gasped, "I don't want it to be true!"

He fisted a hand in his hair in agitation. "Bella, please…just say it…"

_Abomination_

.

She trembled around the word…

"Vampire."

.

Slowly, Bella curled in on herself and began to cry, her arms wrapped protectively around her waist, and Edward sank to his knees in the grass.

.

"Bella," he said lowly, "I will never hurt you…" _I am guilty._

.

My family and I, we don't…drink…from humans. We hunt only animals." _I have sinned._

.

He reached out his hand, his voice broken. "Bella…please…" _I don_ _'_ _t deserve you._

.

She she drew a shuddering breath. "I can hardly bear to think of it," she whispered hoarsely. "Edward…I'm sorry."

.

She was sending him away. Edward closed his eyes and struggled to compose his features as loss struck him like a physical blow.

After a moment, he murmured, "I shouldn't have brought you here. I am sorry, Bella…I'll take you home."

He reached to pick up the basket, and Bella stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Edward…"

He froze.

"Edward…look at me." She touched his cheek, gently turning his face toward hers.

"Edward," she whispered fervently, " _you_ are my home."

He gazed at her in bewilderment, and she drew him close to wrap her arms around his neck, cradling his head against hers. "You are my home, Edward."

Something shifted within Edward's chest, subtle, seismic…

His body shuddered against hers, then was still. _"_ _Meus amor aeternus,_ _"_ he whispered.

Edward rose to his knees, drawing her up with him, and his eyes dipped to linger on her lips, which were slightly parted with her shallow breaths. He raised a hand to cup her head, and his darkened eyes met hers with new intensity.

"Bella…you must be very still." She nodded and her eyes fluttered closed, her heart beginning to race. Edward moved forward until he could feel her sweet breath caressing his skin, and dragged his nose along her cheek, breathing in her fragrance. The burn was fierce, and he swallowed venom, but the hunger that coiled within him now was not for her blood. "Don't move," he whispered, and felt her shiver.

God, she was being so good, so still, waiting, her heart thundering, and Edward closed the space between them, his eyes tightly shut, he pressed his mouth against her soft, warm lips, groaning and taking her plump bottom lip between his own, the texture, reveling in her gasp, like fear but earthy and lush, at the rush of arousal he scented in the air around her, the tiny, high-pitched noises of surrender and the way her hands crept up to clutch at his hair, the way she pressed against him, innocent and needy, the taste of her mouth, her skin hot beneath his lips, god, the feel of her lithe body, her breasts, he felt...

Edward wrenched himself away, gasping, and shook his head in an effort to regain control.

Bella sat where he had left her, looking forlorn and confused at his abrupt departure. In an instant, he was back, still breathing heavily as he rested his forehead against hers with eyes closed, stroking her hair. " _Amata mea_ , we had to stop," he said, and swallowed thickly. "You make me forget myself… I have to be careful with you."

A blush heated her face, and she whispered miserably, "Forget yourself? Surely not." Edward drew back to look at her in consternation.

She shrugged, her eyes on her lap. "After all, this was my first kiss. I am sure that you have been with so many other women…"

Edward swiftly pressed a kiss to her lips, silencing her. Next he kissed her cheek, and then her forehead, finally sitting back in satisfaction.

"I am glad," he said fervently. "I am glad that no other man has kissed you…" He raised a slanted brow. "…so I won't have to kill anyone."

Her eyes grew wide, and Edward rolled his eyes, grinning at her expression. "I'm joking!"

She shook her head at him in bemusement, but Edward opened his arms, his voice gently cajoling. "Come here, Bella,…please?"

She obliged with a sigh, and he carefully gathered her onto his lap and brushed his lips against her hair. "Bella," he said, "I am in earnest when I say that I am glad, and honored, to be the first man to kiss you."

He heard her sigh again and continued. "As for other women…" And he shook his head. "…Bella…there is no comparison. No one has ever moved me as you do."

~oOo~

Edward was accustomed to his mind being in many different places at once, and navigating them simultaneously with ease. But now, his mind, his senses…his soul if he had one…all were focused on the woman asleep in his arms. He pressed his face into her wildly tangled hair, groaning at the scent of the skin at her nape. The burning in his throat was a constant presence, but he no longer struggled to resist Bella's blood. It was the woman who sang to him now.

She knew him, and she had not fled. She knew what he was, and yet she had trustingly fallen asleep in his arms.

Edward rose, cradling her against his chest, and gently laid her in a shady spot at the meadow's edge. Gingerly lifting her head, he slid the folded blanket beneath it for a pillow, and then lay beside her, leaning up on one elbow so that he could keep an eye on the trees and also watch her as she slept.

The sun had traveled only a short distance in the sky when Bella roused, her eyes fluttering open to look up at Edward in sleepy adoration. She stretched her arms over her head, lengthening her body in a sensual stretch, at once innocent and alluring. Edward closed his eyes, his face slightly pained as he tamped down the urges her innocent display had aroused.

"Welcome back," he said, and permitted himself a chaste kiss to her cheek.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep." She smiled, and sat up to look around.

"I've kept you awake beyond your accustomed bed time for two nights now," he responded. The corner of his mouth lifted adorably. "Though I can't say I am sorry."

She looked down with a faint blush. "Nor am I."

She lifted the lid of the basket and peeked inside, giving him a mischievous look. "Edward, would you care to sample the treats I packed for you?"

He gamely took an apple. "For you, I would eat it all, happily."

Bella grabbed the apple from him and took a bite, shaking her head. "I cannot believe you did that for me."

He grinned. "It was worth it. And I've had to do worse. Once, I had to eat an entire seven course meal. I didn't recover for days." His eyes twinkled, and she laughed at his silliness.

Bella ate her apple, watching as Edward busied himself by weaving flowers together, dexterously beginning a colorful garland of currant, buttercup, periwinkle and phlox. His head was bowed over his lap as he worked, the breeze occasionally lifting his unruly auburn hair. He noticed she had stopped eating and raised his head, his expression sweetly expectant.

"Would you like to hear about my family?" he asked, and at her nod, Edward turned so that they were facing one another, their knees lightly touching.

"They're my adopted family. They're…like me." He glanced up hesitantly, then returned his focus to the garland. "Carlisle, my father…" He shrugged nervously. "…he's my creator...my sire."

Bella's heart sped. "Doctor Cullen...made you like this?"

"I was dying," he said quietly. "My mother pleaded with him to save me. She knew what he was."

Edward's brow furrowed and his hands stilled as he looked up at her. "For a long time, I was angry that he had condemned me to this existence." He sighed. "But Carlisle is a good man. He's the best man I've ever known." Edward went back to his work in silence.

After a moment, Bella said softly, "My father thought very highly of him. I'd like to meet him properly…if that would be alright."

Edward looked slightly abashed as he said, "Actually, I've been…extremely taken with you for some time now, so all of my family are eager to meet you." He noticed that she flushed with pleasure at this admission.

"For a very long time, it was only Carlisle and I," Edward went on, "but then he found Esme. She was married,"—he glanced at Bella again—"and human, so he had resigned himself to loving her from afar. But in the end, Carlisle had to make the choice between watching her die, or changing her."

Bella gasped. "What had happened to her?"

Edward glanced at her apologetically, "That is not my story to tell. Of course, Carlisle did change her…and they are mated." Edward's face grew pensive, and he set the garland aside to twist his fingers instead in the grass at their feet. Bella left him to his thoughts and selected a scone from the basket.

The corner of Edward's mouth quirked in a smile. "Esme is perfect for Carlisle." He picked up the garland again, adding in leaves now. "They've been together for over five hundred years." Bella's eyes widened at this information.

"Once Carlisle found Esme, he became concerned for me," Edward said with a slight frown. "He was worried that I spent so much time alone." He sighed." One night, he came across a poor young woman who had been brutally attacked. She was near death, and Carlisle changed her in hopes that we would take to one another." He smiled ruefully. "But we felt no attraction to each other at all. Rosalie is my sister now."

Edward grinned. "Emmett is my brother, and Rosalie's husband. She saved him from being eaten by a grizzly bear." He looked up to see Bella's reaction and was not disappointed.

"Goodness!" she exclaimed in astonishment. "So, Emmett was…human…too."

"Yes." Edward shrugged." It was love at first sight, or something like that. Rosalie knew he was the one for her, and begged Carlisle to save him."

"And Emmett felt the same," Bella said.

"Yes, thank goodness!" Edward smirked. "I believe Mr. Congreve was thinking of Rosalie when he wrote about the fury of a woman scorned. Emmett and Rosalie knew immediately, just as Carlisle and Esme had…" Edward held the completed garland in his lap and was still.

When he didn't go on, Bella quietly asked, "Edward, is something wrong?"

He shook his head, but when he looked up his expression had become wistful. "Nothing, really. Emmett said…well…he thought that some day, you would be my mate." He dropped his eyes and inspected the garland, turning it slowly in his large hands.

"And…" she whispered, "…this displeases you?"

Edward looked at her in surprise. "There is nothing I want more! But I cannot ask it of you." His shook his head. "Bella, you deserve a man who can give you a family, who can grow old with you. I can do neither." He traced his finger along the pattern in the fabric of her skirt, avoiding her gaze.

"You spoke in another language earlier." She said at last. "I think it was Latin." He nodded, and his finger continued its journey until it reached the edge.

"What were you saying?" she asked quietly.

Edward ran a hand through his hair, seeming to consider his next words as he gazed into the trees. "I sometimes speak in Latin when…" He cleared his throat. "…At times of great distress…or emotion."

He couldn't seem to meet her gaze as he resumed fiddling with her skirt, this time dexterously pleating and unpleating the fabric with one hand as she waited patiently. One side of his mouth drew up in a small smile, and his expression grew wistful once more.

At last Edward lifted his eyes to hers. He reached out a hand to touch her face. " _Meus amor aeternus_ …" His thumb stroked tenderly along her cheek, and his eyes held hers. "My eternal love."

Edward's gaze moved lower and he carefully placed his palm over her heart, murmuring, " _Amata mea,_ _"_ then raised his eyes to hers. "My beloved." Bella drew a trembling breath.

Edward leaned forward and gently laid her back into the soft grass, following to rest beside her. Rising up on one arm Edward bent his head and traced his lips slowly across her face, kissing her eyelids, her forehead, stroking his fingers through her hair as he whispered against her skin, " _Mea tu belliata_."

Bella curled her fingers into the soft hair at Edward's nape as he stroked his nose along her cheek and murmured, "My beautiful one. My Bella."

He drew back to lay his head beside hers in the grass and tenderly met her gaze. "I love you."

.

.

.

For a time, the meadow was the whole world, safe and gentle and intimate.

For a time, it was as if there was no time.

They lay with their hands entwined, resting in each others eyes.

Bella whispered, "You saved me from the fire."

"Yes."

Edward studied her breaths, reveling in the miracle of their steady cadence.

Her brow furrowed. "But… you could have burned. You risked your whole existence for me."

Edward's smile was gentle. "I will always come for you."

* * *

**A/N: Ardere = to burn with love**


	13. Caesula

**A/N -** This is short, but needs to be a stand-alone outtake, I think.

_**TRIGGER WARNING: IMPLIED ABUSE** _

**Chapter 13: Caesula**

**Volaterrae**

**50 C.E.**

Eduardus is seventeen the first time he is summoned to his mistress' chamber. He stands just outside the door with bowed head, wondering why his master's wife has sent for him, for it's very late at night, and Antoninus would not approve. Yet he has no choice, so he gathers his resolve and enters the room.

Caesula stands in the center of the room, facing the door, her arms outstretched to the sides. A girl Eduardus doesn't recognize runs a sponge over her mistress' nude body, rivulets of water soaking into the the towels at their feet. The girl is also naked, and her face is streaked with tears. Eduardus keeps his eyes trained on the floor, and his stomach churns with apprehension.

Her ablutions complete, Caesula dons a garment of sheerest fabric and seats herself at at small table, her attendant kneeling at her feet. "Come here, Eduardus."

He stands before of her, his heart beginning to pound. "Remove your tunic," she lazily commands.

Swallowing, he does as she bids, stripping to the cloth which covers his hips. She reaches out a slender arm and pulls at the closure, and that garment, too, falls to the floor.

"You will speak of this to no one," she says, her eyes glinting, "or your sister will be the one who suffers."

Heart pounding, he nods his understanding, and her answering smile makes the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. She rises, and Edward sees for the first time that she holds a whip in her hand. She circles him slowly, her eyes hungrily taking him in, and he suppresses a shudder of disgust as he feels her nails rake across his naked flesh. Her breath is hot against his ear as she whispers, "Place your hands against the wall."

~oOo~

It is well after midnight when he returns to his room, but his younger sister is awake and waiting for him. She runs to hug him, but he hisses and flinches away. His sister steps back, hands over her mouth, and stares at him in dismay. "Oh, Eduardus!" she whispers tearfully, "what has she done to you?"

"Nothing that will not heal with time," he replies wearily. "Pippa, you should not have waited up for me. Go to bed." He goes to the wash basin and splashes water on his face.

"But Eduardus…"

"Go to bed, Pippa!" his voice is harsher than he intended, and tears spring to his sister's eyes. Instantly repentant, he sighs and takes her hand. "Sweetheart…please do not worry about me. I will be fine. But now I want nothing more than to sleep." She nods her head, looking down and sniffling.

"I will see you tomorrow," he says, and kisses her on the forehead.

When he is alone in his chamber, Eduardus painfully removes his tunic, which has adhered to the raw welts on his back as they dried. He folds the garment with shaking hands and hides it under his bed, then douses the light. He sits on his bed and stares into the darkness, trying not to think of the things he has been forced to do…the things that have been done to him. Rushing to the window, he hangs his head out and heaves bile onto the ground below. He rinses his mouth at the basin.

Caesula had been pleased. Before sending him away, she had placed a lingering kiss against his mouth and assured him that henceforth, she would be seeking him out regularly. He sinks onto the mattress and curls up on his side, arms wrapped protectively over his head. The bed shakes as dry sobs wrack his body, far into the night.

* * *

**A/N:** Caesula = feminine version of the name Caeso. Possibly derived from the verb _caedere_ (to cut). Another possibility is that the name is associated with the festival of _Lupercalia_ , in which young women and girls were lashed with leather thongs in order to promote fertility. The word _"caesius,"_ (blue-grey) could also refer to eye color.


	14. Amare

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Chapter 14 - _Amare_**

* * *

Late afternoon sunlight painted the trees in hues of gold as Edward stood at the forest's edge, watching Isabella make her way back to the house. She paused at the kitchen door to blow a kiss in his direction, ducking her head shyly as she disappeared within. With a grin, Edward caught the airborne token of affection and pressed it to his cheek, shaking his head at himself.

The smile was still in place when Rosalie made an appearance some time later, wearing her preferred costume of men's trousers and shirt. "It looks as if things are progressing nicely with your pet," she smirked, looking up at him.

"Good afternoon, Rosalie," he responded, keeping his eyes trained on the house. "Yes, Bella and I have reached an understanding of sorts. Thank you for noticing."

His sister grinned and joined him where he sat halfway up a cedar. "This is long overdue, if you don't mind my saying so."

"I don't mind—I happen to agree. Where's Carlisle?"

"He wanted to be home when you got there. There have been some interesting comings and goings. Well, comings, really." She gathered her long blonde hair into a knot of sorts and tucked it under her cap.

Edward raised an inquisitive brow, but Rosalie pursed her lips, eyes twinkling. "Oh, no…I'm not going to spoil the surprise."

She bumped him playfully with her shoulder. "Go home and spend some time with Esme. She misses you. I'll keep watch over your fair maiden."

He bussed her cheek and dropped lightly to the ground. "I'll be back before full dark."

~oOo~

Edward was half a mile from home when he caught the fresh scent of two unfamiliar vampires. A low growl rumbled from his chest and he changed course back toward the boarding house, but then Carlisle's voice came from behind him. "Edward, come meet our new friends!" He slowed and heard Esme call, "They're no danger to your Isabella. Edward, come!"

Edward turned back toward home, slowing when the grand façade came into view through the trees. His parents and Emmett were seated on the front porch with a young couple. They stood as he mounted the steps, and Edward noted with relief that the strangers' eyes were tawny gold.

"Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock," Carlisle said, "I'd like you to meet our son, Edward Cullen."

"Jasper, please," the tall young man said as they shook hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jasper, Mrs. Whitlock," Edward replied, nodding his head at the petite brunette.

"You must call me Alice," she insisted, cheeks dimpling. "I've been waiting to meet you for so long!"

Edward cast a sidelong glance at Carlisle, who shook his head with a chuckle. "They only arrived two hours ago, Edward. It's complicated."

Resigned, Edward leaned down to kiss Esme on the cheek, earning a pleased smile from his mother, then took a seat next to Emmett. His brother's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Edward!" he bellowed, clapping him boisterously on the shoulder, "Congratulations! I'm happy for you, brother!"

Edward's confusion rapidly turned to chagrin when he noticed that Carlisle and Esme were exchanging beaming smiles.

Alice cleared her throat delicately. "Edward, I'm looking forward to hearing about your friend. Her scent is most enticing!" Her eyes twinkled, while Jasper looked a trifle pained. She squeezed her husband's knee. "Don't worry, Jasper. You won't hurt her."

Emmett waggled his eyebrows at Edward. "It smells as if you and Miss Swan have been getting better acquainted."

"Emmett!" Esme scolded, "Behave!" Emmett looked unrepentant.

Esme turned to Edward. "Darling, we're so pleased that you and Miss Swan have become friends. When will we get to meet her properly?"

"Oh, yes!" Alice exclaimed, "We must meet her as soon as possible!"

"Yes, Edward, you can't keep her all to yourself," Emmett boomed, "Bring the little lady by the house next time."

"Perhaps tomorrow!" Alice said, "Esme, we could gather some food for a nice tea by tomorrow, couldn't we?"

Esme nodded. "I'm certain we could. Emmett, would you make a trip to town? Now that Miss Swan and Edward are friends, we'll need to be prepared."

"Yes, ma'am!" Emmett rubbed his hands together. "I may need to think about building some more furniture as well. Perhaps a bed." He waggled his eyebrows yet again.

His mother cuffed him on the back of his head. "I said behave!"

She turned to Alice. "He does have a point, though. We should set up a guest bedroom. Do you sew? It would be lovely to make a bed cover to match the drapes in the lavender room."

Alice sprang to her feet, clapping her hands in delight. "I was a seamstress when I was human! May I see the room?" The two swept into the house together, their voices fading as they continued up the stairs.

In the relative silence that followed, Jasper caught Edward's eye and gestured with his head toward the direction his wife had disappeared. "Sorry," he mouthed with an apologetic grin.

Edward turned his incredulous look on Carlisle, but his father only chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder. "Son, you'll get no help from me. Your mother has been waiting for you to find someone like this for…" He smirked. "Well, for a long time."

Edward slumped back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Emmett jumped up and headed down the porch stairs. "I'm off to find some maple for Miss Swan's bed," he called over his shoulder. He stopped and turned. "Jasper, would you care to join me?"

Jasper rose. "Yes, I'd like to become more familiar with the town and environs." The two headed for the trees, Emmett gesturing animatedly as they talked.

Edward watched them go, then turned back to Carlisle with his eyebrows raised.

Carlisle stretched out his legs and leaned back, folding his hands behind his head. "Edward, I believe you have just met the two newest members of the Cullen clan."

Alice's voice floated down from the second floor, "Three three newest members!"

She appeared in the doorway, hands on her hips as she shook her head at them. "You forgot Miss Swan!"

Edward's mouth fell open and Carlisle smirked. "I suppose it's time we told you about Alice. She has a rather unique talent…"

~oOo~

Michael Newton exited the Three Rivers Tavern, at a loss for how to proceed. He had been to the mercantile where Hunter traded furs, to both of Forks' taverns, and even checked the bawdy house, but Hunter hadn't been seen since the previous day. With a disgusted sigh, Michael headed home.

Bella bustled past him as he entered the kitchen. "I saved your supper for you," she said over her shoulder. "Have a seat and we'll talk." Michael watched as she ladled a rich stew into his bowl.

"I've been in town, looking for Hunter," he told her, dipping in a chunk bread.

"Eat." Bella put a mug of ale in front of him and sat on the bench. "You can tell me about it when you have finished."

"Yes, ma'am!" He grinned, digging in. "Tell me about your day, then."

Bella fidgeted with a napkin as he ate, her leg bouncing under the table.

"Wha'?" Michael finally asked through a mouthful of bread.

She bit her lip, then rolled her eyes and whispered, "You must promise not to mention this to your mother."

He rolled his eyes right back at her. "Obviously."

She leaned forward. "Or anyone else. It's important, Michael."

"Not even Jessica?"

Bella threw up her hands. "Especially not Jessica. She's practically the town crier."

"Fine, fine. You know I can keep my mouth shut when it's warranted."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes, I promise! Out with it, woman!"

Bella leaned forward and whispered, "I met someone!"

Michael's eyebrows tried to reach his hairline. "When? Who?"

Bella knew her smile was ridiculous, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. "It's complicated, but...I suppose we met properly yesterday afternoon. It was Edward who chased Mr. Hunter off."

Michael grinned around a mouthful of food, "More like beat the tar out of him, according to Mr. Hawkins at The Hungry Bear. Edward who?" He gulped some ale.

Bella leaned forward again. "Keep your voice down, or this conversation is over."

He smiled sheepishly and wiped his mouth. "Sorry."

"Cullen. Edward Cullen."

"Cullen? There's an Edward Cullen? I thought there was only an Emmett and a Carlisle."

She nodded excitedly. "Yes, he's Emmett's brother."

"Huh." Michael finished sopping up the last of his stew and looked longingly at the pot. Taking his bowl to refill, she spoke over her shoulder.

"Of course I wanted to thank Edward for his help."

"Naturally." Michael feigned concern as she placed the bowl in front of him and Bella swatted him on the shoulder.

"So I packed some food, and we had a lovely picnic today."

Michael stopped eating to stare at her.

"What?" she asked indignantly.

"You, Bella Swan, willingly spent time in the company of a young adult male?"

She sputtered, "Now you're being ridiculous!"

"Ridiculous, am I? Every man within fifty miles knows they may as well not even try." He shook his head and resumed eating.

"Fine. I'm difficult to please."

Michael snorted in agreement. "So does this mean that you'll stop going on about your 'angel?'" he asked with a smirk, scraping the bottom of his bowl. Getting no response, he looked up to find she was blushing scarlet.

Bella grabbed his dish and carried it to the sink. "I suppose it does. Pie?"

"You need to ask?" He sat back and patted his stomach. "Well, then, cousin, when will I meet this ferocious defender of maidens?"

She sighed as she dished up a slice of strawberry rhubarb pie. "I don't know. It's rather complicated." She set the pie in front of him and sat.

"Complicated. Okay." Michael forked some pie and chewed blissfully. "Woman, you are one fine cook."

"Thank you. Have I told you lately that you're my favorite cousin?"

Michael shook his head. "Bella, I learned long ago that you're going to do exactly as you see fit, regardless of what anyone thinks. Besides, someone has to be on your side." He grimaced. "Sorry..."

" _Pfft_. I'm aware that I have few defenders."

When he had scooped up the last crumbles of crust, he took his plate to the sink and poured in hot water from the kettle. "So about Hunter...I looked everywhere for him in town, and no one has seen him since yesterday."

She joined him, dish cloth in hand. "Perhaps he's decided to leave town."

Michael shook his head. "His things are still in his room. I'm going to stay up there tonight, so I can be sure he won't be back to bother you."

"No!" Bella dropped the cloth and stooped to retrieve it. "I don't want you to exhaust yourself. I'm sure he's just away setting his traps, or sleeping off a bout of drinking somewhere."

"I don't think so." Michael leaned against the sink. "He's up to no good, and I intend to stay awake and keep watch." Her cousin kissed her on the cheek and headed for the stairs. "Now get some sleep, and don't worry. I'll be listening for any movement in the night."

Bella smiled wanly and trudged after him up the stairs, waving goodnight as they parted ways in the hall. She changed into her night dress and was about to douse the candle when she spied something poking out from under her pillow. Her stomach fluttered as she pulled out the letter to read.

_Dearest Bella,_

_While I am sorely disappointed that we won't see each other tonight, I am also grateful that your cousin is so protective. Michael is a good man._

_I had planned to ask if you would like to visit my family soon, for I am eager to introduce you to them. We will understand if you would rather not go to the house. Please just think on it._

_Sleep well, Bella. I am keeping watch outside, even as your devoted cousin guards your sleep from the room next door._

_I love you._

— _E_

_Visit them soon?!_ Bella's fingers drummed on the bedcover as she contemplated all of the ways she could make a bad impression on Edward's family. She fell back on her pillow, her head thumping lightly against the headboard.

"Y'okay'n there?" Michael's groggy voice came through the wall.

Bella put a hand over her face and sang out, "Couldn't be better!"

She rolled out of bed and threw open her wardrobe, rifling through her paltry assortment of clothing. If Edward's attire was any indication, the Cullens were extremely well-to-do. She must choose carefully.

Ten minutes later, she was no closer to deciding what she would wear to visit the Cullens, but she had worked herself into quite a bundle of nerves, her mind spinning with worries.

_You might want to give a girl a bit of notice if you want to introduce her to your family preparations must be made it isn't as if one meets a household of vampires just any day of the week what does one talk about with people who are decades even centuries older than oneself how should I wear my hair what if they don't like me_

~oOo~

Edward listened, mystified, as Bella rifled through her wardrobe, growing more and more agitated. Finally he could stand it no longer and leapt up to her window, calling her name in concern.

"Bella?"

Wide-eyed, she whirled to face the window. "Edward!" she whisper-shouted, "What are you doing here?"

He drew up the sash and ducked his head under. "You were growing very upset, and I was concerned. Bella, what's wrong?"

She tiptoed to the window where he crouched on the sill, buffeted by the wind. Behind him, dark clouds were scudding across the sky as a storm blew in, and a gust made the single candle in her bedroom gutter wildly.

"What about Michael?" she whispered.

Edward chuckled, not even trying to quiet his voice. "Despite his best intentions, he's out for the night. And he sleeps like the dead."

"Oh," she said in a small voice.

Edward watched as a handful of emotions crossed her features and her heart began to speed once more.

"You're upset again," he said in dismay.

"It's just that I'm not used to this kind of intimate meeting, with a man who…" She gazed at him, her cheeks flushing. "…who isn't a family member," she finished lamely.

"Thank God for that," was Edward's heartfelt response. "But why were you upset before? Bella, what happened?"

She searched his eyes for a moment, biting her lip. "I'm worried that your family will think me unworthy of you," she admitted.

She slumped down to sit on the floor with her back to the window. The gauzy curtain blew inward, coming to rest ridiculously over her head, and she batted it away with a sigh.

Edward was silent for a moment and then murmured, "Sweetheart, may I come in?"

She nodded miserably, scooting over to make room for him on the floor. Edward took a deep breath of fresh air, then climbed through the window and seated himself beside her.

He took her warm hand in his. "First of all," he murmured, "you don't have to visit them at all if you don't wish to. But more important..." He looked down and shook his head, chuckling. "Bella...you could have horns growing out of your ears and a third arm, and my family would still be grateful that you will have me."

Bella scooted around to face him and tucked her hair behind her ear. She looked dangerously fetching in her white nightdress, loose hair spilling over her shoulders in gentle curls. "Edward…be serious. You're so...You have to know that you are..."

She groaned and dropped her face into her hand. "Edward…I know you've had your pick of beautiful women."

"That may be true," he acknowledged, "but…Bella, it's been a very long time since I've been interested in _any_ woman."

She raised her head to look at him dubiously. "And by a very long time, you mean…?" She waved her hand in a circle.

Edward pretended to ponder the question. "How old did I tell you I was?"

She scoffed. "Now I know you're teasing me. You expect me to believe that you haven't…been…with a woman, in one thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five years?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Not precisely," he hedged.

"You haven't _precisely_ been with a woman in that time?" She raised an eyebrow.

The topic at hand, combined with Bella's nearness in her too-sheer nightdress, was taking a toll on Edward's composure. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Bella, I'm not sure this is an appropriate conversation for us to be having," he said, his voice strained.

"Well, you brought it up!" She huffed in exasperation.

He mentally recited a meditation for serenity, hoping against hope his body would cooperate.

"Edward."

Bella waited until he met her gaze. "I was raised around farm animals." She gave him a significant look, and now it was Edward's turn to drop his face into his hand.

"Furthermore," she continued relentlessly, "my mother was a very earthy woman and quite comfortable discussing intimate relations between men and women."

She was trying to kill him. Face still buried in his hand, he gripped his hair and growled, _"Cette femme aura ma peau."_

Bella smiled sweetly. "I speak French, by the way."

"Of course you do." Edward leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, brow furrowed, desperately trying to dispel the images she was inspiring. "Give me a moment, please," he whispered.

At length he opened his eyes, studying his hands in his lap. "I have been with women…" he said, "…but not since long ago." He turned to her. "But it doesn't matter, Bella… _everything_ is different with you. It's as if I can feel new connections…new pathways, being created in my body, because of you." He rubbed at his forehead in distraction. "And I can tell you that, after this much time…it's a very unsettling experience."

Bella hummed noncommittally, out of her depth, and Edward sighed in resignation. "I suppose this will never make sense to you unless I tell you about my early life."

A light rain began to blow through the open window, and Edward quickly rose to close the sash and seal the storm outside. He rested a hand against the frame and watched the silvery trails running down the glass, allowing his mind to slip back to his life of long ago.

"My mother was taken from her home in Britannia when she was a young girl," he said quietly. "My father was captured as a boy, defending his village in Germania." His voice sounded different…younger.

"They were taken to Rome and sold at auction to a man called Antoninus. I was born into slavery. With my parents and sister, I served the Antoninus family in Volaterrae my entire life."

He felt her hand searching for his and gratefully clasped her fingers. A smile ghosted across his face, and at her gentle urging, he lowered himself next to her on the floor.

She whispered, "What was your sister's name?"

Edward looked at her in surprise. "My sister's name was Ann," he replied, and at once his face lit with fond memories, "though I called her Pippa, for she loved horses. She was three years younger than I." Bella smiled, enchanted at the idea of a little sister tagging at his heels.

Edward shifted around to face her. "It was not a bad life, Bella," he said earnestly, "My family was allowed to remain together, and on the whole, our master, Antoninus, was fair. His wife could be cruel, but she had other slaves attending her, so we rarely suffered…" His face grew tight as he continued, "…until one day she took notice of me as I was readying her horses."

He awkwardly shrugged a shoulder and lowered his gaze. "Thereafter, Antoninus' wife required my... _services_...in her chambers," he cleared his throat, "and at her parties."

Bella's heart pounded. "But…surely, her husband objected!"

"Antoninus was often away," he said quietly, "but in any case, it was not unheard of for a Roman woman to use her slaves so."

"That's…that's _monstrous_!" Bella's voice shook with emotion. "How could she…"

He raised his eyes to hers, willing her to understand. "My family—Pippa most especially—would have suffered, had I not complied." He sat back in frustration, raking his fingers through his hair. "But regardless, she could do as she pleased."

He looked at her intently. "Bella…I was _nothing_."

Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them away, willing herself not to cry.

"I am seeking neither pity nor sympathy," Edward said quietly. "I did what was required. I barely remember it, except that I had to…to not _be_ there…in my mind."

He sighed. "That was my only experience of…physical intimacy…as a human," he whispered, "Not a very appealing story, I fear."

Bella was silent, not trusting herself to speak. Despite his words to the contrary, Edward's shame was palpable.

Outside, the rain began to sheet against the window, driven by gusts as the storm gathered energy. "I died several years later," Edward said quietly, "and as my mother wished, I was changed into what I am now."

He reached out and gently brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "It was long ago, Bella," he whispered, his eyes filled with remorse. "Please, don't be sad." She mustered a shaky smile and nodded.

Edward sat back then, and his face grew dark. "After I was changed, Carlisle and I stayed among the vampires in Volaterrae for thirty years. They viewed the act of coupling dispassionately…like an itch to be scratched. For whatever reason, I was much sought after." He smiled bitterly. "I despised what I had become—I saw no point in resisting." He shrugged. "Then one day my disgust finally outweighed my apathy. That was the last time I…" Edward scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to rid himself of the memory.

He sat straighter, his face carefully composed, though his eyes remained trained on the floor between them. "It was difficult to escape the Volturi, but Carlisle got us away. A few years later, we came to a Buddhist monastery and joined the brothers there." He looked up with a wry smile. "As you might imagine, after Volaterrae, the monks' way of life held great appeal. We stayed with them for nearly two hundred years."

"But…didn't they wonder at your differences, your lack of aging?" Bella asked in surprise.

"They weren't bothered by such things," Edward replied with a crooked smile. "I think they found us fascinating, really…particularly the fact that we had chosen to abstain from…our natural food source." He grimaced in apology.

"It was there that I learned it was possible to all but extinguish the inner fires—the passions—that had been tormenting me. I practiced for many decades. When we left there…I was at peace."

He grew thoughtful and looked down, fiddling with the hem of her nightdress. "We traveled across two continents," Edward murmured. "For a long time, we searched out centers of learning, universities, where we would stay for a time. We were at the University in Paris when Carlisle found Esme." He shrugged. "Ever since then, they've been hoping I would find someone as well."

"Were you?" she asked, and he tilted his head in question, unable to read her expression.

"Hoping…" she said. "Were you hoping to find someone?" She looked down, allowing her hair to hide her face.

"I was hoping." He ducked his head, and gently touched her cheek. "Bella…why are you hiding?" Reluctantly, she lifted her face.

He gazed at her in dismay, correctly guessing what was causing her troubled expression. "I was hoping," he said again,"and, yes…I have had my pick of many beautiful women, had I wanted them…" He stroked her cheek lightly with his thumb, and his eyes warmed, willing her to believe. "…but it was as if I couldn't even see them. None have moved me; no one could touch the part of me that I had buried all those years ago, Bella…until _you_."

A pale flash of lightning illuminated the room and was followed almost at once by a splitting clap of thunder. Bella shook her head angrily, rising to her feet to rush away from him, but he followed, standing so close she could feel him behind her.

His rich voice next to her ear made her shiver. " _You_ are the one I was waiting for, the one I want. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because I'm not good enough for you!" she cried, whirling to face him angrily. "I'm ordinary—why can't you see that? Surely your family will realize…and you will, too some day! You'll lose interest, you'll leave…"

He cut off her words with his kiss, pushing her against the wall and groaning at the feel of her soft body through the thin fabric of her nightdress. Bella's arms came up around his neck and she molded herself more closely against his hard form, gasping, her hands gripping his hair…

In a flash, Edward was across the room, pacing like a caged lion. Bella gasped, and suddenly he was kneeling at the window, throwing it open to lean out into the storm. The rain was coming down in torrents; it plastered the hair to his bowed head, running down his face and soaking through his shirt as he gasped for air.

As if a dam within Edward had burst, words came tumbling forth. "At first I was nearly mad with the need to drink from you…I had to get away, or I feared I would kill you." He shook his head. "But your image was burned in my mind, the most beautiful creature I could have imagined."

Bella knelt close beside him, wrapping her arms around her waist as the wind tossed her hair wildly about her face. Cold rain blew in, soaking her nightdress, but she paid it no heed.

"Then, I returned, and truly saw _you_ …" He turned to her, rainwater streaming down his pale face. "I fell in love with you, Bella. And when you kissed me that night, it was the first time…'" He shook his head, struggling with words. "Always before…so long ago…my body responded against my will, and inside, I remained cold. But with you…God, Bella, your mouth on my skin…I _burned_ from within."

With both hands, he gently cupped her face, his eyes searing. "You're my _mate_. You've changed me, irrevocably." His beautiful face held a fire that sent heat shivering to her very core.

"Bella…I will love you _forever_."

Slowly he leaned in and pressed his mouth against her soft, warm lips, groaning at her taste. He hovered, a breath away, eyes closed as he steadied himself, but his breathing grew shallow with need, and he kissed her again, lingering this time, her full upper lip tempting him to stay, and when she moved her mouth against his, he grunted softly, pulling her closer, eyebrows drawn in concentration, his body nearly shaking with the need to move faster, to be closer, inside... With a shuddering breath he drew back, brushing his lips one last time across her cheek.

Edward stood and helped Bella to her feet, reaching up to close the window. The sound of the storm was muted, making their labored breaths suddenly loud in the quiet of the room.

His eyes traveled lingeringly down her body. The rain had soaked through her gown, making it all but transparent. It clung to her skin, molding itself to her slender legs, her pale breasts, the nipples taut with cold…

She looked down, but didn't attempt to cover herself; she watched him, as he took her in. At last Edward met her gaze…and his face was awestruck, filled with reverence.

He reached out slowly, barely touching, and traced his fingers along the curve of her breast. Then he swallowed, letting his hand fall to his side, and lifted his eyes to hers once more. "You're so beautiful," he whispered hoarsely.

Taking a quilt from the chair, he wrapped it around her shoulders, then stepped close and drew her tenderly against his chest, resting his cheek against her hair. When at length Bella began to shiver, he stepped away.

He turned his back and waited as she changed her soaked nightdress, leaving it by the window for the morning. She crawled beneath the covers and blew out the candle, and Edward came to her, seating himself on the floor beside her bed.

Bella reached for his hand and drew it under her cheek where it rested on the pillow, pressing a tender kiss against his wrist before closing her eyes with a sigh. Edward hummed her lullaby, continuing long after she had drifted off to sleep. The storm outside receded into the distance, leaving behind a gentle rain. Edward leaned forward and rested his head close to hers…and his eyes drifted shut.

_Forever_.

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**A/N: If you are enjoying reading this story, won't you please review?**

**_Amare_ = to love passionately**

**_"Cette femme aura ma peau"_ can be translated roughly as, "This woman will be the death of me." Thank you to Missleez for translating the English to the French. My profile has a link to her page.**

**On the story blog (link in my profile), under "Notes on the Story" you'll find a link to an excellent article on Buddhism as it relates to Edward's experience.**


	15. Instare

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**CHAPTER 15 - Instare**

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Never had there been such a morning; slanting rays of sunlight sparkled on the dew, songbirds serenaded their loves from the treetops beneath an azure sky, and the verdant earth fairly burst with new life. Bella hummed a cheery tune as she strolled toward the house, a basket of eggs on her hip.

Katherine looked up from where she stood at the wood stove and watched her niece go tripping by. "What has you in such fine fettle this morning?"

Bella smiled beatifically over her shoulder. "It's a beautiful day, is it not?"

Katherine harrumphed and watched with narrowed eyes as Bella sailed through the door. Her niece was a constant source of concern, never seeming to care about her own future. Soon enough, Michael would be married, and one day Katherine would be gone, and then what would the silly girl do—help run the boarding house for the rest of her days?

Heaven knew, there were plenty of eligible men in town and nearby, with few enough young women to go around. It was beyond her why Isabella had not settled on someone and taken on a household of her own by now.

Bella reappeared and came to a stop by her aunt, noting the older woman's pugnacious stance. Assuming her most benign expression and tone she asked, "Aunt Katherine, I wonder if you might do without me today so that I can call on the Cullens?"

Katherine frowned at the pot she was stirring. "The Cullens?" Her tone was not promising, but Bella gamely plowed ahead.

"Yes, you see, I've been invited to the Cullen household today." She schooled her face in innocence as she went on, "Dr. Cullen has inquired about my well-being so frequently, it's past time that I paid him and his family a call, don't you agree?"

Katherine was more than surprised, since Isabella had not had a purely social engagement in the whole time the girl had lived with them, but she recovered herself and nodded. "If Dr. Cullen has invited you to call, then of course, you must go. Please give him and his wife my regards."

"Thank you, Aunt Katherine!" Bella kissed her cheek and dashed up the stairs, leaving an astounded Katherine to gape after her.

Throwing open the door to her wardrobe, Bella withdrew her blue Sunday dress and hat and laid them on the bed, then stripped down to her underthings. _Amazing how much clearer everything is in the morning_ , she thought, shaking her head at her silly insecurities of the night before. She poured water into the wash basin and quickly scrubbed her face and arms until they were pink and glowing, before pulling on her dress and fastening the many closures across the front. She considered wearing her sturdy every-day shoes, but reasoned that her prettier Sunday shoes would be fine, as Edward likely would be carrying her much of the way.

Jack had followed her upstairs and now tapped around the room, lingering by the window where the floor had yet to dry from the previous night's rain. Bella had hidden her soaked night dress beneath her bed. She would have to wait until that evening to hang it to dry, in case her aunt came into her room while she was away. Jack snuffled his way to the bed, where he gave special attention to the floor near her pillow. There, he turned a tight circle and lay down with a groan, watching Bella's movements with shining eyes.

Bella stood before the small mirror by her bureau and pulled her hair back from her face, tying it with a ribbon and leaving the back to fall in loose curls. She stared critically at her reflection for a moment, then loosened the front a bit, smiling at the way this softened her appearance. Inspired now, she took scissors from her mending basket and returned to the mirror. She pulled a few strands of hair forward on each side and cut them shorter, beaming when they curled softly to frame her face.

Jack got up suddenly and begged to be let out. Bella took her hat and followed him down the stairs, the little dog hurtling excitedly on ahead of her. Now, if only Aunt Katherine could be distracted at the front of the house, Bella would have an opportunity to slip into the back woods unnoticed!

Her aunt's voice floated up to her as Bella rounded the first landing. "It was very kind of your father to invite Isabella today, Mr. Cullen. How is the doctor?"

Bella froze in mid step as Edward's lyrical voice responded, "My father is well, thank you Mrs. Newton. He holds Miss Swan in high regard, indeed; however, I confess that today's invitation came at my suggestion."

" _Your_ suggestion?" The shock in her aunt's voice bordered on being insulting, but Bella decided to forgive her. After all, she would have been equally shocked had such a thing occurred a week past. She listened to Edward's reply as she continued her descent.

"Yes, ma'am. You see, I have admired your niece from afar for some time, only now finding the courage to make my intentions known."

"Your intentions?" Katherine's voice was an octave higher than normal.

"Yes, Mrs. Newton. I am here to ask your permission to court your niece."

Bella nearly tripped on the last step, catching herself on the newel post at the last moment. _Court?_

" _Court?_ _"_ Aunt Katherine echoed her thoughts, but now she sounded gleeful, much to Bella's surprise.

"With your permission, ma'am."

Bella rounded the corner into the parlor in time to see Edward's elegant bow and her aunt's frankly dazzled face. Bella paused in the doorway, unsure of how to proceed.

Edward straightened and turned to face her, his expression pleasantly composed, though his eyes gleamed as he took in her appearance. He wore his blue jacket, waistcoat and trousers, his hair was tamed for once, and Bella thought that she had never seen him look more handsome.

Aunt Katherine made the introductions when she spied Bella standing in the doorway. "Isabella, this is Doctor Cullen's son, Mr. Edward Cullen. Mr. Cullen, my niece, Miss Isabella Swan."

Edward bowed. "Miss Swan, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Bella carefully composed her features for her aunt's benefit. "Mr. Cullen. This is a surprise."

A corner of Edward's mouth twitched. "My father sends his good wishes. He asked me to collect you this morning, and I was only too willing to agree."

"Isabella," Aunt Katherine sounded positively giddy as she drew Bella forward by the elbow. "Mr. Cullen has asked my permission to court you. While this is sudden and unexpected, I trust you will see the wisdom in my allowing it."

Edward's face was serene, but he swallowed as he took Bella's hand in his, betraying his nerves. "Miss Swan, it may seem that I am being impetuous, but, on the contrary, I have thought on this matter at length. I will be the happiest of men if you will allow me to court you."

Bella drew a shaky breath and smiled up at him. "Yes, Mr. Cullen, I'll allow you to court me." Edward's face relaxed, fairly glowing with satisfaction.

"Well, then," Aunt Katherine blustered, "I don't have all day to dally with you youngsters." She made a show of straightening pillows on the divan. "More work for me today, while you are enjoying yourselves. Good day to you, Mr. Cullen. Isabella."

"Good day, Mrs. Newton, and thank you." Edward bowed to her retreating form while Bella hid a smile behind her hand.

Bella turned to Edward with wide eyes and raised brows. He mouthed, "Sorry," but his eyes were alight with happiness. She shook her head at him in confusion, but couldn't help smiling back.

Jack had been quivering in the hallway all this time, as he wasn't permitted in the parlor. Edward stooped and scratched the pup behind the ears. He gave the little dog a morsel of food and rose to find Bella watching, a soft expression on her face. Edward smiled crookedly and offered his arm, and they made their way to the front of the house as Jack scurried off to the kitchen in search of scraps.

When they reached the front porch, Bella gasped in surprise. A shining silver-grey surrey awaited them just outside, an elegant bay mare stomping and blowing in the traces. She turned to Edward in delight and he grinned down at her, pleased that she was enjoying his surprise. "Your chariot awaits, milady," he murmured, and led her down the steps.

Edward handed Bella into the surrey and then swung up beside her, taking the reins and clucking to the mare. They quickly entered the dim forest, the horse's hooves nearly soundless on the leaf-strewn carriage trail. The air was perfumed with pungent scent of hemlocks, firs and cedars passed by on either side, and a mossy green blanketed every surface.

Bella thought she would burst with questions, but she managed to retain her composure, only the tapping of her toes betraying her excitement. For his part, Edward was the picture of serenity. She rolled her eyes.

"You look beautiful." His words, coupled with a look of heated admiration, caught her off guard and thoroughly disarmed her. At last, they rounded a bend in the road, and she turned in her seat.

"Edward!" she whispered, "what...?" She gestured helplessly, unable even to articulate a question.

He slowed the horse to a walk. "Bella," he said earnestly, "Please forgive me for speaking to your aunt without your permission."

"But, Edward," she asked, "what inspired you to do such a thing?"

He observed her quietly for a moment, and his expression fell. "It was not my intention to force your decision," he said quietly, "and it was wrong of me to put you in such a position. I will understand if you wish to reconsider."

"No! It's just that I don't understand why you decided to court me at all…I thought…" she looked away in embarrassment.

His brows furrowed as he explained, "Bella, your aunt was bound to notice your absences and begin to question your behavior. I was concerned for your reputation."

Bella held a hand to her forehead in dismay. "But Edward, you said that associating with me openly would be dangerous for you! I have no care for my reputation, especially not at the risk of your safety!"

"I did say that," he conceded, "and while it's true that vampires aren't permitted to reveal themselves to humans, I have good reason to believe this is the course we should take."

"Good reason?"

He grimaced. "It's complicated."

Bella huffed in exasperation. "I'm sure I'll be able to keep up with your reasoning, if you will explain it to me."

Edward ducked his head in chagrin. "You're right, of course," he said, "Please forgive me, Bella. I am unused to having someone like you in whom I can confide."

He pulled the mare to a stop and turned to face her. "Two visitors—vampires—came to my parents' home yesterday." At Bella's alarmed expression, he hastened to add, "They subsist on animals, as we do. My family is quite taken with them." He paused, then watched her carefully as he said, "The woman, Alice, has a special…talent. She can see the outcomes of decisions we make."

Bella tilted her head. "Talent? You mean she is a clairvoyant?" She shrugged at his surprised expression. "My mother told me of such things."

Edward shook his head and gazed at her in admiration. "Your mother was a remarkable woman, as is her daughter." She lowered her eyes to her hands, flustered by his praise.

Edward carefully took her hand, twining his cool fingers with hers. "When I explained my concern to Carlisle this morning, he suggested that perhaps you and I could court openly, provided we did not call undue attention to ourselves. I agreed." He chuckled. "Not even five minutes later, Alice joined us on the roof..."

Bella's mouth fell open. "You had this conversation on the roof?"

Edward grinned and leaned back, stretching his long legs before him. "My family has learned that if they wish to speak with me at night, your roof is their only option."

" _My_ roof?!" she exclaimed.

"I stayed with you until just before dawn, and then Carlisle joined me on the roof when he came to take his shift." Edward rubbed the back of his neck, looking a bit sheepish. "I didn't want to leave you yet."

"His shift..." Despite her assurances that she would keep up, Bella was beginning to feel a bit at sea.

"Yes, one of my family takes a shift watching over your house at times." Edward actually looked guilty as he quickly said, "I know I promised to guard your safety myself, but occasionally there is other business to which I must attend."

She blinked at him for a moment, and then leaned back next to him, stretching out her feet beside his. "Alice joined you and Carlisle on my roof." She waved a hand airily. "Do go on."

"Alice said she'd had a vision, and that courting openly would bring the best outcome for us."

"The best outcome," Bella said softly, "I see." She sat up and studied the fabric of her skirt, disappointed that Edward's decision to court her had been inspired by pragmatism, rather than by some more romantic notion.

Edward sat forward and took both her hands in his, earnestly seeking her eyes. "Bella…I was overjoyed! I never dared hope that I would be able to express my love for you in this way. Now..." A radiant smile lit his face, and she laughed in response, so transparent was his happiness. "Now I can court the woman I love. I can take her for a ride in my carriage." His eyes lowered to her lips, and his face grew serious. He gently cupped her cheek and murmured. "I can steal a kiss on a deserted lane."

Edward's lashes lowered as he leaned in and touched his mouth to hers. His cool lips moved slowly and deliberately as he tasted her, and Bella sighed in surrender, kissing him back with abandon. The leather of the seat squeaked beneath them as Edward leaned in closer, his hand moving to hold her waist. Abruptly he pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers, chuckling darkly.

"A carriage is approaching," he murmured. "Your cousin is very fortunate that I hold him in high regard."

Edward pressed one more kiss to her lips before sitting back and scrubbing a hand over his face. Bella self-consciously straightened her clothing and tied the ribbons of her hat under her chin. Edward watched her, drinking in the sight of her flushed cheeks and bee stung lips. She smiled shyly when she was settled, and he kissed her cheek, then set the horse into motion.

"This should be interesting," he murmured, a moment before a wagon came into view. Her cousin Michael was, indeed, at the reins, a pretty young brunette seated at this side. "That's Jessica Stanley," Bella whispered, and Edward nodded.

As they neared the wagon, Jessica's mouth drifted open, her jaw dropping lower until at last she snapped it shut. "Michael, stop!" she whisper-shouted, and he obediently pulled his team to a halt as Edward followed suit.

Michael's smile rivaled Edward's, and he tipped his hat, calling, "Edward Cullen, I presume?"

"You presume correctly. And you are Bella's cousin, Michael, yes?" Both men were jovial as they finally met face to face.

"At your service, sir," Michael confirmed, "and this is my friend, Miss Jessica Stanley."

"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Stanley." Edward nodded, then turned his attention to Bella, lifting her hand for a kiss as he gazed at her. "A beautiful day for a drive, is it not?"

Jessica, whose mouth had fallen open once more, stared until Michael nudged her with his elbow, eliciting a flurry of spluttering that concluded with, "… beautiful, yes!"

Michael barely restrained his laughter as he clucked to his team. "Good day to you. Enjoy your drive!" As they moved away, Jessica whispered in his ear, gesturing wildly, while Michael chuckled at her antics.

Edward clicked his tongue to the mare, and she set off at a leisurely walk. "Such a sensation you are causing!" he murmured with a grin.

"It is you, not I!" Bella objected, but Edward shook his head and raised a brow. "Vampire hearing, remember? Miss Stanley was startled to find that there is another male in the Cullen family, but much more surprised to see you out on a social call, and looking so fetching."

Bella stared at him a moment, then sat back. "Hmmm."

"Hmmm, what, exactly?" he teased.

"Hmmm, now that Jessica knows you exist and are on the marriage market, there is going to be a bevy of eager females vying for your attention."

Edward rested an arm behind her and stroked his fingers along her shoulder, raising goose-bumps through the thin fabric. He leaned his head close to whisper, "Then they'll be disappointed. I'm blind to other women, Bella." He brushed his lips against her temple. "I see only you."

Bella smiled and sidled closer, relaxing against him. "Are we going directly to your family's house?" she asked.

"Yes, unless there is somewhere else you would prefer to go." He smiled down at her.

"If we'll be passing through town...well, I understand the mercantile now offers books for purchase. If you don't mind, I'd like to stop in and see them, just to look."

"As my lady wishes!" Edward exclaimed, with a dramatic flourish, "To the mercantile!"

He spurred the horse on with a cry and Bella laughed with delight. The mare arched her neck in pleasure at the chance to stretch her legs in a canter, and soon the forest thinned and the first outbuildings of town came into view. Slowing to a walk, Edward guided the mare past The Hungry Bear and the blacksmith, finally stopping to hitch the surrey to a post before Crowley's Mercantile.

Edward leapt lightly to the ground, then helped Bella down, steadying her with a hand at her waist. Several townspeople stopped to gape as the two entered the mercantile, Bella's hand on Edward's arm.

Mrs. Cope was busy behind the counter but glanced up over the top of her spectacles upon their arrival. As they crossed in front of her, the plump little shopkeeper's glance became a stare, and her mouth fell open.

"The people of this town all seem to be afflicted with a weakness of the jaw musculature," Edward whispered in Bella's ear, and she snorted, biting her lip to keep from laughing outright. "You are terrible!" she whispered.

He looked down at her and lifted a sardonic brow. "I have been saying as much from the moment we met."

Bella pursed her lips at him, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "So you have," she conceded.

They arrived at a shelf of new books, some twenty in all, and Bella eagerly began perusing the titles. Edward touched a hand to the small of her back. "Would you mind if I leave you for a moment?" he asked apologetically, "Esme asked that I purchase some dry goods if we stopped here."

"Of course," Bella smiled up at him, "I will enjoy looking through the books at my leisure." He squeezed her hand gently, then strode off toward the other end of the store.

Bella watched him walk away, admiring his long legs and broad shoulders with a sigh. She caught sight of Miss Cope surreptitiously observing her from behind a display of apple peelers. Bella quickly turned her attention back to the shelf of books, her cheeks flushing.

A moment later, a finely dressed young woman entered the establishment, folding a parasol and patting her elegant hair. Lauren Mallory was making her way through to the textiles when she caught sight of the tall and devastatingly handsome stranger to her right. She smoothly changed course, adjusting her bodice and swaying her hips as she went. Lauren stopped a short distance from Edward and made a show of looking through the items on the shelf in front of her, careful to hold her face at the most advantageous angle for his appreciation.

As was his custom, Edward studiously ignored the young woman next to him. The shelf before her held remedies for various livestock ailments, but she gamely feigned interest, tilting her head at odd angles as she edged closer to him. He had gathered his items and was turning to leave when she virtually threw her reticule at his feet, giving a breathy exclamation of dismay.

Edward retrieved the purse, offering it to her with a wan smile. "I believe you dropped this, miss."

"You are too kind sir" she gushed, "But I don't believe we've been introduced!" She lowered her eyes demurely.

"My apologies. My name is Edward Cullen." He gave the barest of nods.

"I am Lauren Mallory," she murmured, moving closer and offering her gloved hand for a kiss. Edward smiled tightly and took her hand, raising it nearly to his lips without making contact and dropping it quickly.

"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Mallory. And now, I beg you to excuse me…"

"But you must stay and meet…"

"I fear that will be impossible," he interrupted firmly. "Good day, Miss Mallory." With another small bow, Edward turned and walked away, leaving her scowling after him.

Bella had been following their exchange out of the corner of her eye, and now looked up as Edward approached. He bent low to whisper in her ear, "Only you," and brought her hand to his lips, holding her eyes as he pressed a lingering kiss there. Behind her, Bella heard Lauren Mallory stomp out of the store and slam the door, the bell jingling noisily.

"I leave you alone for two minutes…" Bella teased him, shaking her head.

"Have you found anything interesting?" he asked, drawing her attention back to the books.

"One or two things," she replied absently.

She ran a finger along the spines. There was a Bible, a book of women's fashions, some trade journals, several books of poetry ("I have these," she murmured), works by Irving, Cooper, Dickens, and a copy of _Jane Eyre_ by Miss Bronte. This last Bella lingered over with a wistful smile.

"Would you like it?" Edward asked, studying her face.

She shook her head. "There is no need." Her eyes grew distant as she murmured, "My mother loved _Wuthering Heights_. Her copy burned in the fire." Then she smiled. "But I have many of her things from a trunk that was stored in our barn, including several volumes of poetry."

Edward pulled the book from the shelf and thoughtfully turned it in his hands, then replaced it, turning to her with a smile. He formally offered his hand. "Miss Swan, will you accompany me to my home, so that I might have the honor of introducing you to my family?

She placed her hand in his with a regal look. "I would be delighted to do so, Mr. Cullen"

Edward paid for his items at the high wooden counter and they left the mercantile in good spirits, leaving Mrs. Cope fairly bursting with the titillating gossip she alone could share: the town wallflower, Isabella Swan, had beaten Lauren Mallory to the most eligible bachelor in the Washington Territory.

~oOo~

**Near Sacramento**

James Hunter had seen better days. Currently he was screaming around the filthy rag in his mouth and lying on the hard, damp floor of a cave, writhing in agony as his body endured the change from human to vampire. The fact that he had requested this particular metamorphosis didn't make the process any easier.

His creator (she couldn't think of herself as his dam) watched dispassionately, occasionally leaving to scout the area for a human snack, but so far finding none. It had been extremely trying, feeding on James without draining him dry. She had nearly given in to temptation, only the lure of having a newborn at her disposal giving her pause.

Victoria could admit to herself that there was more to her decision to keep James than pure expediency. She enjoyed her human pets, and had spent more time with James than most. His sadistic tendencies had dovetailed nicely with her need for victims on whom to feed.

James let out a particularly disagreeable shriek, and Victoria grimaced, deciding to look for prey closer to the city. She had to have _someone_ to feed him when he woke up.

* * *

**Instare = to pursue eagerly  
**


	16. Cognoscere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

They were not far from the Cullen homestead when Edward began to hear his family chattering together in the distance. Evidently, Alice had forewarned them of his immanent arrival, because they were already gathered in the drawing room, discussing the best manner in which to greet Isabella.

He whispered rapidly under his breath, "Please treat Miss Swan as you would any other guest. She'll be uncomfortable with too much attention."

Esme responded, "We're mindful of her human nature, Edward. But you must understand how excited we are finally to meet your mate!"

"There's no guarantee that she will consent to being my mate!" Edward argued. Next to him, Bella stretched and removed her hat, blissfully unaware of the conversation taking place around her as the mare pulled the surrey through the dense forest.

Alice sought to reassure him. "Edward, Bella is a remarkable human, even more suited to our kind than you know. Please try not to worry—today's events will only aid your cause."

He scowled in annoyance, drawing a questioning look from Bella. Edward smiled blandly and said, "We're almost there."

"Oh!" Bella quickly placed the hat back on her head and attempted to fasten the ties, but her fingers were too nervous to manage the slender ribbons. Edward took pity on her and dropped the reins, turning in his seat to take the ribbons gently from her.

He tied a bow beneath her chin. "Bella, don't be afraid. No one will hurt you, I swear it."

Bella held still until he finished and then flailed her hands about. "I'm not worried that anyone will hurt me, Edward! I'm still nervous that they won't _like_ me!"

Alice's tinkling laughter came to him from the house and he smiled crookedly. "I surrender," he whispered for his family's ears only. "I freely admit that I should not be running this campaign."

But to Bella he said, "Sweetheart, I promise…they will love you at once."

A moment later, the grand facade of the Cullen homestead came into view through the trees and Bella sat forward in her seat, eager to see. Giant cedars loomed on both sides as the surrey wound closer, passing lush plantings of shrubs and flowers along the way. Edward pulled the mare to a halt before a wide set of stairs which led up to double doors. The deep porch which wrapped the entire three-story building was filled with inviting wicker furniture and elegant hanging ferns. Bella was at the same time enchanted and overwhelmed by the graceful beauty of the imposing structure.

Edward drew her attention with a hand at the small of her back. "I need to stable the mare," he said quietly. "Would you like to go in now, so you can greet my family until I get back, or would you rather come with me?"

Bella looked mildly alarmed at the thought of being left alone with his family. "I'll come with you, please," she answered quickly, sidling a bit closer to him as if the house would bite. Edward chuckled and urged the mare on.

The drive led around the house, continuing down a shallow grassy hill behind to end at a large carriage house, stables and barn. Beyond the outbuildings, the dark and winding Sol Duc River bordered the pasture.

The surrey came to halt before the carriage house. Edward stepped down, vanished into thin air, and reappeared on Bella's side of the conveyance. She blinked in surprise and laughed at his cocky grin as he offered his hand. When she reached the ground, he stepped close and leaned down for a kiss, one hand pressing gently against the small of her back to hold her close. She sighed against his lips and leaned into him, her stomach fluttering at the feel of his long, firm body pressed against hers.

Edward stepped back with a regretful sigh and set to work unhitching the mare, moving too quickly for her to follow. He backed the surrey into the carriage house and took hold of the mare's bridle, then looked over his shoulder to her, holding his hand out invitingly. She placed her hand in his, and together they walked the remaining distance to the stables.

The mare's hooves struck sharply against the stone floor, echoing off the high wooden ceiling, and Edward unharnessed and groomed the horse at vampire speed while Bella watched in fascination. In almost no time, they were was leading the docile animal out to a large paddock where seven other horses grazed.

Edward closed the latch behind the mare and she immediately turned to put her head over the gate. Bella snorted in amusement as the silly beast nibbled at Edward's hair, lipping it with her velvety muzzle. He pulled a sugar cube from his pocket and the horse eagerly took it from his outstretched palm. The pretty bay crunched contentedly, nickering softly as Edward murmured in her ear.

Edward gave the horse a last scratch behind the ears, then turned back to Bella and presented his arm. "Shall we, milady?" he asked with a smile. Bella place her hand on his arm and they started up the drive back to the house. "You have a wonderful way with animals," she observed, and Edward looked at her in surprise.

"On the contrary," he said, "nearly all animals, including a large number of humans, are terrified of me. Vampires are the world's most dangerous predators. Animals know this instinctively."

"But the mare, and Jack…" Bella protested, and Edward chuckled, looking down at his feet.

"I had to work at Jack for weeks before he would come anywhere near me," he confessed. "It's the same with the horses. An agent purchases them for us and brings them here, and we spend several months accustoming them to our presence and our ways of moving."

They were nearing the back of the house now, and Edward led them toward a set of French doors. He looked at her teasingly. "Of course, there are exceptions," he smirked. "You, for instance."

Bella ducked her head self-consciously, but he stopped and turned to face her. Leaning in, he whispered next to her ear, "You are exceptional in many ways, Bella. And for this, I am more grateful than I can say." He kissed her cheek and straightened, and together they mounted the steps to the porch.

The doors opened onto a lovely sitting room with large windows filling the outer walls. They passed through the light, airy room to a spacious hallway that appeared to run the length of the house. Edward turned off the hall to the right and they entered a drawing room with large windows on two walls and a grouping of furniture around a grand fireplace. Thick oriental rugs covered much of the gleaming wooden floor, and the interior walls were hung with exquisite works of art. Edward's family was gathered around the fireplace, and they all rose upon seeing Bella enter the room.

Esme stepped forward and took Bella's hand in hers. "Miss Swan, welcome to our home," she said, "I'm Edward's mother, Esme Cullen. We're so delighted you could come!" Her hair was a rich shade of chestnut that was similar to Edward's, and Bella reflected with surprise that Esme could have been his real mother, were she not too young in appearance.

"Thank you for the kind invitation, Mrs. Cullen, Doctor Cullen. Please, call me Bella."

"And you must call me Esme."

Doctor Cullen nodded and placed a hand to his chest. "Carlisle, please. It's gratifying to see you in such good health, Bella," he said sincerely.

"Thanks to your son," she replied. Edward opened his mouth to object, but Bella nudged him with her shoulder, saying, "Shush, you."

At this, Emmet let out an explosive snort of laughter and Edward smiled crookedly, noting that Bella looked quite pleased with herself.

Esme continued the introductions. Bella felt a pang of insecurity when she met Rosalie, for Edward had failed to mention that his sister was breathtakingly beautiful. Her giant of a husband, Emmett, should have been frightening, but his dimpled smile and merry eyes were more jolly than fearsome. Jasper Whitlock was a true southern gentleman, if somewhat reserved, but his wife, Alice, nearly knocked Bella down when she threw her arms around her.

"Alice!" Edward admonished with a grimace.

Giving Bella a last gentle squeeze, Alice stepped back, holding both of Bella's hands in hers. "I'm sorry, but I feel as though I know you already. I have longed for a sister like you!"

Bella was at a loss for words, but Jasper came to her rescue. "Don't worry, Bella. Alice has this effect on people. You'll grow accustomed to it."

"It's fine," Bella said softly, and gave Edward a reassuring smile.

"You see? Now stop worrying so much!" Alice put an arm around Bella's waist and led her toward an empty love seat. Edward sat next to her and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. He noted with some amusement that his family were beaming at the two of them with all the affection and pride of parents watching their infant take his first steps.

Jasper offered his apologies with a bow and left them to go outside. The rest of the family were seated and exchanged pleasantries with Bella while she gratefully sipped a cool glass of lemonade and nibbled from a tray of cookies that Esme had thoughtfully provided.

At last Esme was satisfied that Bella was refreshed and recovered from her ride. The older woman leaned toward her son and asked, "Edward, will you play for us? It's been so long, and I know Bella will enjoy hearing you."

"Play?" Bella asked in surprise, and Edward rose with a smile, offering her his hand.

"The piano," he said. "Come, the instrument is in the music room." He led her through to a large room with bare, polished wood floors. Their footsteps echoed as they approached the grand piano that dominated the space, its wood gleaming softly.

Edward removed his jacket and flung it over the back of a chair, then took a seat at the piano. He shifted the bench to the side and patted the space next to him with a boyish smile. Bella sat beside him and arranged her skirts to the side as Esme, Carlisle and Alice gathered on a settee nearby.

"Rose and Emmett decided to join Jasper," Esme said, and Edward nodded. He dipped his head to Bella and whispered, "They've gone to hunt again," and her heart sped for a few beats as she understood his meaning.

Carlisle noticed, of course. "Bella, please don't feel uncomfortable," he reassured her. "They've gone out of an overabundance of caution. You're very important to Edward, and so, to all of us as well."

Bella blushed at his assertion, but was pleased, nonetheless. "I understand," she murmured. "Thank you."

Alice raised her brows at Edward, as if to say, "I told you so," and he shook his head with a smirk. Alice was going to take some getting used to, but he liked her already.

He turned to Bella. "Is there a favorite work you would like to hear?"

My mother loved to play Chopin," she said with a wistful smile, "but anything would be lovely."

Edward rolled his shirtsleeves up to the elbow and ghosted his hands along the tops of the keys, moving his fingers into position. As the first clear notes of melody filled the room, Bella gasped softly. Her eyes fell shut, and the music embraced her, transporting her back to her childhood when she used to listen to her mother playing at the spinet. The music had a storybook quality that Bella had loved as a girl; a smile curled her lips.

The melody came to a gentle close, but then suddenly the piece continued in a fiery passage that Bella had never heard before. She opened her eyes in surprise. Edward's brow furrowed in concentration as his hands flew across the keyboard, sweeping left to strike in powerful octaves, moving with dazzling speed and dexterity. Her heart sped as she watched him, awestruck at the raw emotion of his playing.

The music gentled, becoming melancholy, and Edward's fingers formed around the final haunting chords. He allowed the notes to ring, then released the pedal, returning the room to silence.

Edward's eyes were trained on the keyboard in front of him. "Why are you crying?" he whispered.

She raised a hand and self-consciously wiped at her cheeks, but Edward drew his handkerchief and gently wiped away her tears, his eyes roaming her face with concern. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, nothing! It's just...I haven't heard that piece since the last time my mother played it for me." She smiled tremulously. "Edward…thank you."

His eyes searched hers and he murmured, "Her loss weighs heavily on you still."

She nodded. "At times. My father's as well."

Edward rose and took her hand, linking their fingers together. "Come with me to the library. I have something for you."

~oOo~

Bella was subdued as they walked back down the hall to the back of the house. Edward held a door for her, and they entered a room that was two stories high, books filling every available space. She gasped, eyes wide.

Edward shrugged with a crooked smile. "You can collect a lot of books in two thousand years."

Bella giggled, then quickly covered her mouth, for she was concerned that she would move on to hysteria if she was not cautious. Sometimes, being with Edward stretched her equanimity. A bit.

She moved about the room, making note of the various collections, all meticulously organized and preserved. Edward lingered by the door, enjoying simply watching her take pleasure in the books, but eventually, his eagerness got the better of him, and he went to seek out the novel he had in mind.

When he returned, he found Bella perusing a shelf of Latin classics; he wished he could know her thoughts. _Latin classics_... he felt his fists clench and willed himself not to damage the book in his grasp. To Bella, he must seem like a walking museum piece, he mused, an ancient curiosity. He scowled and looked down at his hands, thought how cold and unyielding, how inhuman he must feel to her.

He looked on as Bella stooped to read the spines of the books at floor level. He believed that she was grateful to him for saving her, perhaps even infatuated with his appearance and strength; but truly, how long could he expect to hold her interest, when he couldn't offer her a family, couldn't even grow old with her?

It would be better for her to tire of him, he thought in resignation, to find a human to love. And because he loved her, he must be ready, even encourage her in that direction. Some day, he knew, he would endure the pain of seeing her settled with another man; for he would stay with her to the end of her days, in whatever role she allowed.

Bella looked up with a beaming smile as he approached, unaware of the melancholy turn his thoughts had taken. "This library is beyond my wildest dreams! How many of these books have you read?"

Edward shrugged uncomfortably. "All of them."

Bella stared at him, speechless.

He grimaced and looked away. "Some time soon you truly will realize how old I am, and you'll run away, screaming."

Bella shook her head in amazement. "But Edward, some of these books are medical references, law treatises...there is botany, philosophy, architecture, religion...and they are in every language I have heard of and some I don't recognize."

Edward looked down, chagrined that in his desire to share the library with her, he had only served to highlight his own _otherness_. The gift in his hand seemed trivial in comparison, and suddenly he felt ridiculous for thinking it would help to win her over.

"Edward..."

Reluctantly, he raised his eyes. Bella was leaning back against the bookcase, her eyes alight with some emotion he couldn't name.

"Knowing that you are capable of reading any book in this library, let alone that you already have done so..." She bit her lip and raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Do you have any idea how incredibly attractive that makes you to me?"

Edward's misgivings vanished as if they had never been. Her scent confirmed her words, delicious pheromones swirling in the air around her, and the predator within him roared to the surface.

"Bella," he said, raising a wicked brow, "do you like older men?" He set the book aside and stepped closer, forcing her to tilt her head up to hold his gaze.

Bella smiled up at him and twirled a lock of her hair. Slowly shaking her head, she whispered, "No, Edward...I like _ancient_ men."

His every sense was heightened by her nearness. His body fairly hummed with the instinctive imperative to hunt, to subdue his prey—yet it was not bloodlust that drove him, but the visceral need claim his mate, to make her his.

He moved closer still. "I was there when Rome burned," he whispered, and Bella's heart began to thunder in her chest. Edward lifted a hand to her face and traced his fingertip slowly, slowly down her cheek to the corner of her mouth, and her lips parted with a shaky gasp.

"I witnessed the rise of Islam." His gaze followed his thumb as it traced along her plump lower lip, and she began to tremble under the full onslaught of his seduction, like a bird pinned beneath a falcon's stare. His hand moved along her cheek, fingers sliding into her hair to cradle her neck, holding her head in place.

"I have outlived civilizations." He traced his lips across her cheek, whispering against her skin, "For more than a thousand years, Bella, I have been waiting for you." He lowered his head and kissed her, tasting her lips, dipping his tongue inside with a groan. His other hand slid downward to press against the small of her back, urging her closer. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck and rose up on her toes, molding her body to his, her soft stomach pressing against where he ached for her. His hand slid lower until his long fingers cupped her bottom, pulling her sharply up and against him.

Edward pulled back and traced fervent, open-mouthed kisses across her cheek, and her head fell back, exposing her pale throat to his lips and tongue. "Bella," he murmured against her skin, "Let me take you upstairs."

"Your family..."

"They've gone."

She nodded quickly and Edward swept her off her feet, crossing to the hall and smoothly mounting the stairs to the second floor. Before she could even grasp their surroundings he was laying her gently on a sumptuous bed and moving toward the windows, throwing them open as he removed his necktie.

She bent to unlace her boots with trembling fingers and dropped them next to the bed, then turned to find Edward watching her from across the room, his eyes darker than she had ever seen them. Slowly, she lay back against the pillows. He shook his head and his throat worked as he swallowed, a pained expression marring his features.

She sat up again in confusion. "Edward?…"

"Don't move."

She froze, barely breathing. Edward closed his eyes. "I just need a moment," he whispered roughly. He became so still that he could have been carved from marble, an Adonis from ancient times.

Suddenly his eyes snapped open, lighter in color, but still holding a predatory glint. Edward held her eyes as he climbed up the foot of the bed and over her body, forcing her back against the pillows. Already his eyes were darkening again, and Bella felt a thrill not of terror, but of desire. He swallowed thickly.

"You have to stop doing that," he grated, his voice tight.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and he laughed darkly. He kissed her once, hard, then rolled to the side, bringing her with him so that they lay just inches apart. His mouth found hers, open and insistent, both of his hands framing her face and holding her still.

Bella tentatively ran her tongue across his bottom lip, and Edward shuddered, steeling himself against the rush of desire her innocent touch aroused in him.

"Be careful, love," he whispered against her lips, "my teeth are sharp." She hummed and sucked gently at his lower lip. He hardly dared to move as she shyly explored his mouth with her tongue, his shaking hands stroking her hair as her lips moved gently over his.

Slowly he rose above her, pressing her back against the pillows, one long leg moving over hers. His hips pushed against hers, seeking the contact he so desperately desired, but he tried to restrain himself, not wishing to frighten her. The scent of her arousal enveloped him, threatening rational thought. "Bella…," he groaned against her throat, "please…I need to touch you..."

She arched her neck and her hand clutched at the coverlet. "Please," she begged softly.

His fingers made quick work of the tiny buttons of her bodice, and his lips and tongue traced a wet trail from her throat to the swell of her breast where he lingered, sucking gently, marking her skin. The gentle, tugging pain of his mouth drew a sweet ache of pleasure between her thighs, and she held his head against her breast, curling her fingers in the soft hair at his nape.

He released her skin and laved the spot with his tongue, then blew against it, his cool breath soothing the tender spot. Bella gazed at him, her eyes soft, and he rose up and kissed her, completely lost in her heat, her softness. His hand slid inside her corset, cool fingers cupping the fullness of her breast, running his thumb over the peak, rolling it gently between thumb and forefinger, and she gasped, arching up into his palm.

He pulled her corset aside, laying her breasts bare, and Edward gazed down at her, enraptured by the beauty of pale skin and rosy peaks. The pulse fluttered wildly at her neck as she watched him, mesmerized by his expression. He lowered his head and nuzzled the sweet warmth between her breasts, his eyes closed, lashes dark against the pale skin of his cheek, and she closed her eyes, fingers tangling in his tousled hair.

"So soft," he whispered against her skin, and he tasted her, kissing along the silky flesh until he reach the hardened peak and drew it into his mouth, working and pulling gently with lips and tongue. Bella trembled, clutching his hair, tiny sounds escaping her lips, heart racing.

"Edward…" her voice was lost, desperate as she writhed beneath him, his mouth at her breast sending bursts of exquisite pleasure racing through her body to pool in wetness at the juncture of her thighs. A low growl rumbled from Edward's chest and he moved over her, settling between her legs as they fell open in welcome, and he moved against her, her cries of pleasure further inflaming his passion, the heat of her pressing against his hardness drawing a ragged gasp from his throat.

He buried his face against her neck, arms sliding beneath her to grip her shoulders, pulling her in as he thrust against her again, again, needing to be inside, and her cries became pleas, desperate and needy, until at last she sobbed and threw her head to the side, her body trembling violently with the intensity of her release.

He cradled her head against his shoulder, holding her as the tremors shook her, until at last she was still, and in that moment he was completely overcome with love for her. He lay her back against the pillow and ghosted reverent kisses against her flushed cheeks, whispering words of adoration, finally nuzzling his face into the nape of her neck. "My God, Bella…how I love you."

She held him against her, arms wound tightly around his neck, and gave a shuddering sigh. When her heart had calmed, she loosened her arms and Edward drew away, sitting next to her, his face inscrutable.

"Are you…" he cleared his throat and searched her face. "Did I hurt you?" Before she could respond, he was on his feet, turning away. "No, you don't need to answer that. Of course I hurt you. Please, forgive me, Bella."

Bella sat up, drawing her corset and chemise back into place. "Edward, what are you talking about? You didn't hurt me! Edward…that was beautiful."

He shook his head, his face remorseful, and ran his thumb lightly over the mark he'd made at the swell of her breast. "I marked your beautiful skin…took advantage of your innocence. I behaved little better than an animal."'

Bella grabbed his wrist before he could withdraw, and he reluctantly met her gaze. She rose from the bed and stood close before him, and he looked down at her, self-condemnation writ plain on his face.

"Edward," she said slowly, lifting a dark brow, "I _liked_ it." He began to shake his head again, but she pulled his head down to hers and kissed him. When she drew away, his expression was bewildered. "I liked all of it, Edward."

His mouth quirked up in a half smile, and she raised her eyebrows minutely. "Especially _that_ part."

He swallowed, his throat working nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck, and she pulled him down to her again, wrapping her arms around his neck to hug him close as his long arms came around her. She teased in his ear, "Of course I liked it, you silly, foolish man."

He shook his head and muttered against her neck, " _Laus Deo."_ And he grinned when she giggled in response.

* * *

**_Laus Deo = Praise be to God_ **

**_Cognoscere =_ to become acquainted with; get to know**

**Video/recording of the piece Edward played Bella at the piano is on the story blog. Link on my profile.**

**If you're enjoying reading this story, won't you please say hello in a review? :)**


	17. Humanitas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** _A note on Rumi... If you're anything like me, you read your stories as quickly as possible. When you get to the Rumi poetry, I invite you to slow down...way down...and to reread once or twice before you move on. In that way, hopefully they will speak to you as they do to Edward and Bella._

* * *

The females in the Cullen household had taken Edward under their collective wing.

He sat in an armchair, booted legs stretched before him, and listened to their wise counsel, only looking up when a question was directed his way. His jacket was thrown carelessly over an ottoman, and his hair was even wilder than usual, signaling his mounting impatience.

The women had him surrounded, as if they had purposely formed a barrier against his escape, though only Esme had a prayer of catching him, if it came to that, he thought with a sardonic grin. The other men were notably absent; Emmett was forgiven, as he was keeping an eye on Bella, but Carlisle and Jasper had willfully abandoned ship and gone hunting, the traitorous wretches.

The morning sun was well up, and Edward had not heard Bella's heartbeat, let alone seen her, since he had taken her home the previous evening. Alice had convinced him to take time away to hunt, after which the rest of his family had found one excuse after another to keep him from his mate. It was the first night he had spent away from Bella in six months, and he was nearly climbing the walls with frustration and anxiety.

Edward let his head drop back against the chair and closed his eyes. The conversation thus far had included the three women's feminine perspectives on human courtship—suggestions for outings, discussion of the rewards and perils of physical intimacy (much enthusiasm around this topic), appropriate gifts and tokens of affection, and the like—but now their advice had taken a most unwelcome turn.

 _"Semper in absentis felicior aestus amantis: elevat assiduos copia longa viros,"_ Edward muttered with a grumpy sigh.

"Precisely!" Esme exclaimed. To Alice and Rosalie she explained, "It amounts to 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'" They nodded in agreement as she turned back to her son. "The adage has survived some two thousand years…surely you can see the wisdom of putting it into practice, Edward."

"It was written by Sextus Propertius, and he was an ass," Edward argued, grasping at straws now. "Carlisle will tell you — he knew his mistress."

Esme rolled her eyes. "Regardless, it holds true. Human emotions are different from ours, Edward. You know this."

"You need to give Bella a chance to miss you," Alice said gently. "Look at the good that came from staying away last night."

"It's difficult to look, since you are unwilling to share what you saw," Edward replied wearily, rubbing a hand across his forehead.

Alice's shoulders drooped. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I truly believe it's better for you not to know yet."

"Never mind, Alice," he said, waving away her apology. "I know you're trying to help."

Edward rose from his chair and headed for the door. "Ladies, I appreciate all your help, truly, but I've reached my limit. I _need_ to be with her."

Rosalie was at his side in a flash, and he paused in the hall at the gentle touch on his shoulder.

"You _can_ still be with her, you know," she said. "Just don't let _her_ see _you_."

Edward lifted a brow in question and his sister smiled. "I have an idea about how you can still make your presence felt."

~oOo~

Bella leaned against the garden gate, watching as the last rays of the setting sun gilded the treetops beyond the field. Below, all was in shadow, the forest already shrouded beneath night's dark veil. The golden glow dimmed as she watched, until its warmth and light were but faded memories. Still she lingered, hoping to see a familiar form against the trees. At last the moonless night blanketed the field and forest alike in impenetrable darkness **,** and she turned to go inside.

She had not seen Edward all day, but she had found evidence of his presence nearly everywhere she turned. Her stomach fluttered as she thought again of his sweet gestures; throughout the day she had found wildflowers she recognized from the meadow, left for her in unlikely places as she went about her work. Now the blossoms were gathered in a vase at her bedside, where they sweetly perfumed the air.

Her aunt and Michael had already retired for the evening, so Bella doused the lights in the kitchen and slowly climbed the stairs to her room. She set the candle on the bedside table and paused with a smile. A perfect rose lay on her pillow, and beneath the blossom was a leather bound journal, wrapped in a ribbon of blue.

Bella lifted the rose to her face and inhaled its sweet fragrance, then added it to her bouquet, leaving the journal untouched. Her heart tripped with nervous excitement as she quickly readied for bed, casting frequent glances at the book that waited on her pillow. At last she crawled beneath the covers and sat back against the headboard with the journal on her lap.

Bella carefully untied the ribbon and opened the cover.

_My dearest Bella,_

_The poet Rumi is unsurpassed in his eloquent descriptions of love, yet even he cannot begin to express the depths of my love for you. Still, I leave you with his words, in hopes that you will glimpse at least a fraction of that which lies within my heart._

— _Edward_

.

I'm drenched

in the flood

which has yet to come

.

I'm tied up

in the prison

which has yet to exist

.

Not having tasted

a single cup of your wine

I'm already drunk

.

Not having entered

the battlefield

I'm already wounded and slain

.

I no longer

know the difference

between image and reality

.

Like the shadow

I am

And

I am not

.

Bella's hand came up to rest over her heart, rubbing lightly as if to ease the ache there. She thought of all the lonely nights Edward had spent watching over her, guarding her safety, when she hadn't even known yet that he existed. What kind of man possessed a heart so selfless? Yet he placed little value on his own worth.

She turned the page and gasped lightly; her own eyes stared back at her, Edward's initials in the bottom right corner naming him as the artist. The ache in her chest grew as she flipped slowly through the journal, finding page after page of drawings, skillfully rendered…all of herself. Some were sketches, hastily capturing the emotion of a moment with consummate skill, while others were completed drawings, each telling a story with exquisite detail. It was as if she were seeing herself through Edward's eyes…and the beauty of his vision was breathtaking.

.

In the early dawn of happiness

you gave me three kisses

so I would awaken

to this moment of love

.

You charm me with your touch

though I can't see your hands.

.

You have kissed me with tenderness

though I haven't seen your lips

.

You are hidden from me.

But it is you who keeps me alive

.

Bella's throat grew tight with unshed tears at the poignant longing in the words he had chosen. She missed Edward so that she felt her chest would burst with wanting him. She ran her fingers across the final page, and her tears spilled free. In a handful of days, her lonely life had been irrevocably transformed by Edward's love. In him, however improbably, she had found her heart's desire, her soulmate.

.

_The minute I heard my first love story,_

_I started looking for you, not knowing_

_how blind that was._

_._

_Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,_

_they're in each other all along._

_._

Bella closed her eyes and allowed images of Edward to fill her mind…his face alight with happiness at the simple pleasure of taking her for a ride…his eyes heavy with sorrow as he shared her pain at the loss of her parents…his kindness to little Jason when the boy wanted to "help" with repairs…his long, hard body pressed against hers, his eyes dark with need…

With a cry, Bella sat up, holding her forehead in dismay. She _needed_ to see Edward, to tell him all that was in her heart. Morning couldn't come quickly enough.

Bella closed the journal and tucked it under her pillow, then blew out the candle. For a long time, she lay on her side and looked toward the window and the darkness beyond, before sleep finally overtook her.

~oOo~

The next morning brought a steady rain that made working outdoors impossible. Bella gazed out the kitchen window toward the trees barely visible in the distance, and wondered once more if Edward was there. She was unbearably restless, her longing to see him an ache that never eased. She resolved to look for him as soon as the rain stopped, the decision making her feel somewhat better.

The rain cleared just before noon, and a fresh breeze scattered the clouds until all that remained were a few fluffy stragglers adorning the brilliant blue sky. Cheered by the change in the weather, Bella made her way out to the garden so she could search the tree line, but to no avail. She returned to the house a short while later with a basket of peas, lettuce and strawberries and rinsed them at the sink.

A knock sounded at the front door, and Bella heard her aunt's footsteps tap down the hall to answer it. Curious, Bella peeked around the corner to see who it was, but quickly pulled her head back when the door opened to reveal Edward, holding a bouquet of flowers. Bella's heart pounded with nervous excitement as she listened to the two exchange greetings.

"These are for you, Mrs. Newton," Edward said, "a peace offering of sorts, since I fear I may inconvenience you once again. I wonder if I might visit with Isabella for a few hours this afternoon?"

Bella listened in wonder as her aunt spluttered an affirmative response. Had Katherine just _giggled?_ Bella hung up her apron and smoothed her hair into place as best she could, then hurried back to the sink to look busy when she heard Katherine's footsteps approaching.

Her aunt bustled into the kitchen, flowers in hand. "Isabella, Mr. Cullen is here to see you!" she said as she took out a vase and filled it with water at the sink. "He brought flowers for the table — such a nice young man! Go ahead, don't keep him waiting. He's in the parlor." Her aunt looked over her shoulder to make shooing motions at her, then went back to arranging the flowers.

~oOo~

Edward eagerly rose to his feet as he heard Bella's footsteps in the hall, but she paused just out of view. He waited in some trepidation as he wondered why she hesitated. It seemed an eternity before she finally entered the room, and her carefully pleasant expression revealed nothing.

"Bella." He spoke her name with a sigh of relief, and his eyes hungrily took in every detail of her appearance, starved for the sight of her. Her hair was pinned into a loose coil at the nape of her neck, and tendrils had escaped to frame her face in gentle curls. Her cheeks were rosy, but from what emotion he didn't know. She met his eyes only briefly before lowering hers.

"Edward," she murmured, "it's lovely to see you. Won't you have a seat?"

He sat at one end of the settee, and Bella perched at the other, her hands folded demurely in her lap. Bella was terribly frustrated at her sudden shyness with Edward, but he simply was too much; his beautiful eyes seemed to see right through her, burning her with their intensity and forcing her to look away. Every nerve in her body sang with excitement in his presence, making it difficult to think.

They exchanged pleasantries about the weather, mindful of Aunt Katherine and the others who were within hearing. Presently, Katherine appeared, carrying a tray with tea and muffins. Edward rose to his feet and took the tray from her, earning a flurry of thanks from the older woman.

Katherine made much of the fact that Bella had made the oatmeal muffins, effusively praising her niece's skill as a cook. She watched as Edward took a bite, smiling when he hummed appreciatively. Bella suppressed a cringe on his behalf as she watched him chew.

Katherine peppered Edward with questions about his family, and he answered at length, relieved at the excuse to talk, rather than eat. Before long, Katherine seemed to decide she had fulfilled her duty as hostess and chaperone.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone to enjoy yourselves," she said. "Edward, please extend an invitation to your parents to join us for dinner one day soon."

Edward assured her that it would be their pleasure, and Aunt Katherine took her leave, smiling warmly at Edward as she said goodbye, and even giving Bella a pleasant look.

When Katherine had entered the kitchen, Bella whispered, "I'm so sorry, Edward! Are you very uncomfortable?"

He shook his head with a smile. "Not at all," he whispered. "I've had a great deal of practice at only appearing to eat." He opened a napkin to show her the dry crumbles of muffin that she thought he had eaten. There was the faintest flash of motion, and Bella blinked at his now empty hand.

"Where is it?" she asked with a delighted smile, trying to peer around and behind Edward while he enjoyed her efforts. Finally he took pity on her and pulled the napkin out of his jacket pocket.

Bella snorted and then covered her mouth, but Edward grinned and leaned close to whisper in her ear, "You're perfect." She lowered her eyes, a pleased smile curving her lips.

He stood and offered his hand. "Shall we go for a walk, milady?"

~oOo~

The air was pungent with the aromas of the forest after the morning's rain, and a cooling breeze made its way through the trees, caressing their faces and surrounding them with the gentle rustling of leaves. Edward took Bella's hand from his arm and linked his fingers with hers. "I missed you yesterday," he said, catching her eye before looking quickly away. He wished he could know her thoughts.

Bella's heart sped a few beats and she glanced shyly up at him. "I missed you, too," she answered. "Thank you for the flowers, and the journal. They were wonderful." Edward nearly sighed with relief. He resolved to thank the women back home as soon as he saw them.

He turned to face her. "Where would you like to go today?" he asked.

She looked up at him thoughtfully for a moment and then closed her eyes, an impish smile curving her lips. "Surprise me!"

"Are you sure?" he asked, and she peeked up to find him looking down at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes. She closed her eyes again and nodded, then let out a squeak as he whisked her up into his arms.

Edward bent his head close, ignoring the flare of pain at her nearness. "Hold tight," he whispered roughly in her ear, and she buried her face against his neck, breathing in his delicious scent with a sigh. He set off slowly at first, gaining speed until the wind whistled in her ears and blew her hair loose to stream behind them. They were going somewhere new, she realized with excitement, someplace much farther away than their meadow. It seemed to her that they were climbing a hill, and then Edward slowed to a stop and she opened her eyes. An enormous sitka spruce loomed before them, its trunk easily ten feet in diameter.

"Are you afraid of heights?" Edward asked, his face only inches from hers. She stared up at the tree towering above them and shook her head. He bent closer still to whisper against her cheek, "You must hold on _very_ tightly, Bella." He brushed his lips against her skin and felt a light tremor run through her body at his touch.

Bella buried her face against his neck again and tightened her grip. With a tremendous jolt, Edward leaped twenty feet onto the tree's lowest branch, and Bella let out a squeal of surprise, then laughed in delight, wiggling her feet playfully.

She grinned up at him, then looked down. "This is not so very high," she observed saucily. Edward feigned a panicked expression and pretended to drop her, laughing with her as she shrieked and clutched at his shoulders. When she had settled he looked up the trunk and then eyed her appraisingly.

"The climb will go faster if you ride on my back." He raised his eyebrows in challenge.

"Ah." She stared at him for a moment, and her eyes sparkled. "You'll need to let go of my legs first."

He smirked and carefully lowered her feet to the enormous branch on which he stood. Bella braced a hand on Edward's arm and bent down, pulling the back of her skirt up and tucking it into her waistband.

"Ready?" she asked.

Edward shook his head. "Probably not," he said with a wry smile, but he turned his back and nodded over his shoulder, bending his knees so she could more easily reach his neck.

She hopped lightly up and Edward caught her, supporting her weight with his hands under her hips until her slender legs were wrapped securely around his waist. Edward closed his eyes, steeling himself against the feel of her body pressed against his, then turned his head to murmur over his shoulder, "You probably shouldn't watch," and Bella obligingly hid her face against his neck.

They began to climb, the occasional brush of soft spruce needles against her face marking their passage upward as Edward smoothly moved from branch to branch, occasionally scaling the trunk unaided. At last their motion stopped, and Bella opened her eyes in surprise when she heard Edward's boots on what sounded like a wooden floor. A platform had been built into the tree, stretching out from the trunk some eight feet on all sides.

"You can climb down now," Edward said, "It's quite safe. Emmett built it."

Bella released a shuddering breath and loosened her grip. She slid down, then sank to the floor to sit on her heels as Edward sat companionably beside her. The floor beneath her swayed with the motion of the tree in the wind, and Bella clutched at Edward's arm nervously.

Edward rubbed his hand soothingly over the small of her back. "I asked Emmett to add the railing for you yesterday," he said. "I hope it helps you to feel secure."

Her heart stuttering nervously, Bella rose to her feet and gingerly crossed to the sturdy waist-high railing at the edge of the platform to look out. Edward joined her, watching her profile as she gazed into the distance. Her hair had come loose and tumbled down her back in tangled curls, her cheeks were flushed, and he thought she had never looked so beautiful.

In her wildest dreams, Bella had never imagined being so high. The platform was at least two hundred feet up the giant spruce, and the tree itself was situated at the top of a hill. It was like being in the heavens, looking down on the beauty of creation all around. The lush green of the forest spread on all sides, the Sol Duc and Queets Rivers a sparkling deep blue as they wound their way through the trees, searching out the lowest route to the sea. The ocean was clearly visible in the distance, a lighter blue with dark, rocky islets jutting high out of the water like tiny fingers.

"I feel as if I'm in a dream," she murmured, turning shining eyes up to smile up at him. "Thank you for bringing me here."

For a long moment Edward was lost in the radiance of her smile. "I'm glad it pleases you," he murmured, brushing a lock of windswept hair from her cheek.

They moved along the rail, Edward pointing out landmarks as they went, and when at last she had looked her fill, Bella turned to study the tree house more closely. A roof covered half of the platform, leaving the rest open to the sky. Next to the trunk was a stack of large cushions, and Edward took one and placed it near the edge of the platform where they would be able to see the ocean. They sat together, their shoulders lightly touching.

"What inspired Emmett to build this?" Bella asked. She gripped the post next to her and carefully looked down, scanning the forest below.

"We all have such keen hearing that there's no privacy at home." Edward avoided looking at her as he replied. "The couples in the family felt the need for a place they could go that was well away from the house." He shrugged a shoulder. "And two hundred feet up a tree, there's no chance of hunters or loggers interrupting, either."

The wind rocked the tree slowly, causing the great trunk to creak and groan against the boards of the treehouse. Edward lay back onto the cushion and Bella followed suit, gazing up at the bows above them that swayed gently in the breeze.

"I used to come here, to get away from the sounds at home," Edward confessed with a grimace.

Bella turned her head so she could see his face. "Was it very difficult for you, after Rosalie found Emmett?" she asked.

"No more than usual," Edward said, keeping his tone light. "I'd been the odd man out with Esme and Carlisle for a very long time before Rosalie joined us. I was accustomed to the role." Bella could see that Edward didn't want her pity, so she resisted the urge to say more on the subject.

She took his cool hand in hers and distracted herself by playing with his fingers. Opening his hand, she turned it over and slowly traced a path across his palm. Edward shivered in response to her gentle touch, and she raised her eyes to find him watching her intently.

"This is the effect you have on me, Bella," he murmured huskily. "A simple touch, and I'm undone."

Holding his gaze, she traced a finger lightly along his wrist and watched as his eyes darkened to a smoky amber, then drifted closed, dark lashes fanning his cheeks. She stroked her fingers along his forearm, reveling in this chance to study him unobserved. The afternoon sun bathed Edward's face in golden light, making the dark brows and lashes even more striking against his pale skin. The sinful curve of his lips begged to be touched, but Bella resisted, contenting herself with trailing her fingers along his arm, happy to see him so at peace.

"Your touch affects me as well," she whispered. To her dismay, Edward opened his eyes and gently pulled away.

Bella bit her lip as a blush stained her cheeks. "Why does that bother you?" she asked. "Why shouldn't I be affected by you? Don't you want me to be?"

Edward sat up and she followed, more slowly.

He sighed and took her hand. "It's not that I don't want you to be," he assured her, "I do, believe me…but I need to explain some things first."

"What kinds of things?" she asked, dejectedly picking at a loose thread on the hem of her skirt.

"You know that vampires are predators," he said, "but I haven't explained the effect we have on humans." Edward lightly touched her face, encouraging her to look at him. "Please, Bella…this is important." She abandoned the thread and straightened, giving him her attention.

"Even without our strength and speed, you have no defenses against us…against _me_." His mouth twisted. "Everything about me is designed to lure you closer…my face, my voice, even my scent. Bella, you aren't affected by _me._ You're affected by _what I am._ " He scoffed bitterly, looking away. "You have no choice."

He turned back, his face grim. "When we were in the library together, I lost control. All I could think of was being closer to you. I seduced you, giving no thought to your wishes, nor to whether you had any choice in the matter."

He went on more quietly. "Bella, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to force my attentions on you. I promise, I'll not take advantage in such away again."

Bella didn't know what to say. She looked away and watched the treetops in the distance rustle and sway in the quickening breeze. She had thought Edward's misgivings about their time together in his room had been laid to rest…but at least now she understood why he still believed he had wronged her. She also knew that it would be difficult to convince him otherwise.

She turned back to him and tilted her head. "All vampires are irresistible to humans?" she asked, and Edward nodded.

"Then tell me…Why am I not attracted to Carlisle…or Emmett, or Jasper?"

Edward gazed at her, his forehead lightly furrowed. "You aren't?"

"No!" she exclaimed, and her look of mild disgust made him smile, in spite of himself.

"I think they're handsome, in the same way I can tell my cousin is a nice looking man. But I feel no _attraction_ to them at all." She shrugged and pursed her lips. "They _do_ smell nice, I suppose…a bit like cinnamon cookies."

Edward snorted, and his eyes crinkled in amusement. "Don't tell them you said that," he said. "They'll be crushed."

"I promise I won't tell your family they smell like cookies," she said solemnly.

A thought occurred to Edward then, but before he could voice it, Bella leaned forward and daringly turned her face into the side of his neck, running her nose along the smooth skin as she inhaled deeply. Edward moved not a muscle as she backed off enough to look into his stunned eyes. She raised a finely arched brow. " _You_ smell _nothing_ like cookies," she whispered slowly, then sat back on her heels with a satisfied smile.

The corner of Edward's mouth curved upward as he regarded her with a hungry glint in his eyes, and Bella's stomach tumbled in response. He picked up a spruce cone that had fallen from the branches above and rolled it in his fingers as he studied her.

"So, you don't find the other males in my family attractive…"

Bella shook her head. "Only you, Edward."

He frowned slightly and his fingers stilled. "Perhaps it's because you're my singer," he murmured.

"I'm your singer? What does that mean?"

Edward looked down at the fragile cone in his hands. "Your blood is…perfect…for me, as if it was made for me alone," he said quietly. He lifted his eyes to hers. "It should be impossible for me to resist killing you."

"But you haven't. You won't," she whispered, her eyes completely trusting.

"I seem to have a talent for self-control," he agreed with a crooked smile, tossing the cone away, "at least where your blood is concerned." He sat forward. "But I wonder if being my singer makes you more susceptible to me as well?"

Bella closed her eyes in frustration. Of course, that was what Edward would focus on. He seemed determined to believe the only reason she was drawn to him was some overblown predator-prey relationship…but that was far from the truth. She had to make him see that her feelings were real, and not something imposed upon her by vampire magnetism.

"You believe I have no defenses against your…" she waggled her fingers in his direction "…vampirey…powers of seduction?"

Edward smirked and nodded, "I _know_ you haven't."

Bella smiled. "Edward…that first night we met in the kitchen, did I seem defenseless to you then?" She raised an eyebrow and waited.

Edward frowned in confusion.

"No," he said, clearly surprised at his answer. "You were attracted to me, but you also seemed to find it quite easy to hold yourself at a distance."

"I did find it easy," she agreed. "In fact, I found you _too_ attractive. It made me feel vulnerable. I didn't like it."

"You were right to feel that way," Edward said. "You should trust those instincts, Bella."

She ignored him and pushed on, "The point is that you were wrong about me. I was _not_ defenseless against you. Edward, even once we began spending time together, I didn't truly give you a chance, not at first. I was too concerned with guarding my own heart." She took his hand. "Edward…I'm sorry for that."

Edward smiled, though his eyes were sad. "I understand, Bella," he murmured. "I'm far from the ideal partner for you. There's no need for apology." He looked down at their joined hands and was silent, his face pensive. The wind lifted his hair, gently tousling it against his forehead, making him look younger even than his human years.

She needed to tell him.

Bella's heart began to pound. She knew that once she uttered these next words, there could be no turning back with this man. His love ran too deep. He had known more pain than anyone should have to experience in a lifetime, and more, and she would sooner die than add to his suffering.

Edward lifted his eyes. "Your heart is racing," he said quietly. "Bella, please tell me what's wrong."

It was as if she stood at a precipice, ready to leap blindly into the promise of a new world. But as she gazed back at him, she knew with certainty that it didn't matter where she landed, or what she found there, as long as Edward was with her.

"I've no need to guard my heart any longer," she whispered, her eyes bright with tears. "Edward…I love you."

_I'm not worthy of your love._

Bella reached up and smoothed the tension away from Edward's forehead with gentle fingers. "You deserve to be happy, Edward," she whispered, her gaze never wavering from his. "You deserve to be loved. Edward…I love you."

_You're too young…you don't understand what you're saying…you'll come to realize your mistake in time…_

"Edward," she whispered, "you love me. _Trust_ me."

Bella leaned in and pressed butterfly kisses against his face, whispering words of love, and Edward didn't move, didn't even breathe.

_Trust._

He did trust her.

An age-old tightness in Edward's chest suddenly released, the sensation so sharp that he gasped. He shuddered lightly, every particle in his body flooding with light and warmth.

_You love me._

Edward buried his hands in Bella's hair and traced open-mouthed kisses across her face, murmuring against her skin, " _Bella mea."_

He drew back and gazed into her eyes, his face transparent with wonder. _"Mirabile dictu. Me amas."_

She smiled up at him, her eyes soft as she stroked his hair.

Edward pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her slender form, resting his head on hers and closing his eyes as he rocked her gently. "Deliciae meae," he whispered, "in aeternum te amabo."

* * *

**_Bella mea = my Bell_ ** **_a_ **

**_Mirabile dictu. Me amas. = It's a miracle. You love me._ **

**_Deliciae meae = my darling, my sweetheart_ **

**_in aeternum te amabo = I will love you forever._ **

**_Confidere = to trust completely_ **

**A new timeline is up on the blog - link on my profile.**

**Thank you for reading! If you're enjoying this story, won't you please say hello in a review?  
**


	18. Historical Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not part of the story. Please skip if uninterested in historical notes.

This is not part of the story. Please skip if uninterested in historical notes.

19th Century Courtship & Intimacy in U.S.

A handful of readers were upset after Chapter 16, in which Edward and Bella "made out" in Edward's bedroom, reaching "second base," despite being unmarried.

Your main concern was what you saw as historically inaccurate behavior on the couple's part, this early in their relationship.

1) There is a misconception that during the Victorian era couples refrained from all but the most chaste forms of kissing until they were married. This simply is not true.

If you would like to see a very good description of changing courtship practices in American history, please google:

Digital History Courtship in Early America

2) Even if one were to discount my first point: In any time through history, in any place, one finds a wide range of behaviors. People don't come out of cookie cutters.

3) Edward originally is from ancient Rome, a time and place in which people generally were extremely relaxed about nudity and sexuality.

4) There are many references in the story to the fact that Bella was raised by a very unconventional mother, and therefore is, herself, an unconventional thinker.

5) This was their fourth "date," the first three having been extremely emotionally packed, with much ground covered. Bella was more than ready.

I hope this explains my reasoning.

Cheers, Linda


	19. Comburere

**Time to learn a bit more about Edward's and Carlisle's history.**

**This one's for Packy.**

* * *

**Comburere**

**Paris, 1354**

Esme le Prestre bows her head in prayer. The hour is late, the cavernous nave of St. Germain's shrouded in darkness, save for the red glow of the sanctuary lamps and the scattered islands of light where votive candles still burn, carrying prayers of the faithful heavenward. The other supplicants have long since sought their rest, but Esme lingers, unwilling to leave the peace and safety of the sanctuary.

She is grateful for the veil that covers her face. The bruises concealed by the sheer fabric still throb painfully, long after her abusive husband has fallen into a drunken stupor, affording her the opportunity to escape. Usually he is not so careless as to mark her face, for it would be unseemly for the wife of a professor at the _Université de Paris_ to show such conspicuous signs of abuse; from such a man, discretion is expected. She shifts painfully on the cushioned kneeler, for her back as well has suffered beneath her husband's heavy fist.

Her veil flutters in a sudden draft, and Esme raises her head in surprise to find a dark figure looming over her. A melodious voice breaks the silence, a shock of pain explodes at her temple, and Esme knows no more.

~oOo~

_**Earlier that evening** _

Edward Cullen climbs the stairs to Professor le Prestre's apartments, his features tense with concern. Carlisle has asked Edward to check in on Esme for him this evening, as he will be detained in a meeting. But upon arriving, Edward was alarmed to find no evidence of her heartbeat among the building's tenants.

It has been two years since the fateful evening when Professor le Prestre first invited his newest scholars to dine with him and his young wife in their apartments. The moment Carlisle had glimpsed the auburn haired beauty, he'd fallen under her spell, beguiled by her soulful eyes and gentle nature.

Carlisle had found his mate—but he was unable to claim her, constrained by the marriage vows she regretted but could not set aside. Yet, though he could not have her, neither could Carlisle bear to leave. He and Edward forged a friendship with the lonely young woman…and unbeknownst to her abusive husband, Esme and Carlisle had fallen in love.

Edward reaches le Prestre's apartments and knocks on the door. A servant answers, a thin, dark-haired girl of some thirteen years. She draws the door open only a few inches to peer out at him.

"Good evening, Amée," Edward says quietly. "Are your master and mistress at home?"

The girl's eyes are large and fearful as she responds. "You'd better not come in tonight, Mssr Cullen. The master is already asleep and shouldn't be disturbed."

A strong smell of sour wine wafts from the apartment, increasing Edward's unease. "But what of Madame le Prestre?" he asks, his face carefully neutral.

Amée looks over her shoulder into the apartments for a moment, tilting her head to listen. Apparently satisfied, she joins Edward in the hall, closing the door softly behind her.

"Oh, sir, it was terrible," she whispers, wringing her hands anxiously in her apron. "I've never seen the master in such a rage."

Edward swallows his impatience with difficulty. "Amée, where is Madame le Prestre now?"

"Gone to St. Germain's, sir, lest he wake up and decide to hurt her more."

He thanks the girl and quickly departs, making his way through the darkening streets until he comes to the _Coll_ _ège de Sorbonne_ _._ Carlisle is meeting with colleagues somewhere in the massive buildings. Rather than take time to find him, Edward stops outside the dormitories and listens until he identifies the voices of several colleagues. Before long, a lull comes in the conversation, and Edward speaks quickly. "Carlisle! Esme needs you."

Within seconds, Carlisle has made his excuses and departed, leaving several disgruntled scholars to wonder what has come over him. He exits the building at a run, his mind spinning with all of the misfortunes that could have befallen Esme in his absence. Reaching the street, he spins around, searching the shadows for Edward.

"This way!" Edward is already heading off at a run, allowing Carlisle to catch up with him.

"What has happened?" Carlisle asks tersely.

"When I arrived at the apartments she was already gone," Edward says. "According to Amée, le Prestre was at his worst tonight. Esme has gone to St. Germain's seeking sanctuary."

"Is she badly injured?"

"I don't know." Edward watches Carlisle warily as they run through the shadowy streets. Though they hunted just that morning, his friend's eyes are jet black.

"Carlisle…you can't kill him."

"The hell I can't!" he snarls, putting on a burst of speed before recovering himself and slowing again. They detour to avoid a small group of students, then resume their course.

"You gave Esme your word you wouldn't intervene."

"Only because she doesn't know what we are, that I cannot be arrested and hanged for the crime."

"That's not the only reason, Carlisle," Edward counters. "Esme is a gentle soul. You know she couldn't bear feeling responsible, were you to kill him."

At last, _Église de Saint Germain des Pr_ _és_ comes into view, almost entirely dark at this late hour, and they slow their pace.

"Carlisle," Edward says quietly, his face deadly serious, "you _must_ calm yourself before you go to her."

With a final growl of frustration, Carlisle slows to a walk. Everything Edward has said is true; he needs to clear his mind of violent thoughts and focus instead on what Esme needs.

They can hear her steadily beating heart now, have almost reached the steps to the church. Suddenly Esme's heart begins to race, and a voice they had thought never to hear again sounds from within the church.

"Foolish human…don't you know that it's dangerous to venture out alone at night?"

In unspoken communication, the men instantly split up, Carlisle quietly racing around the side of the massive building as Edward leaps up the front steps. Carlisle has almost reached the side entrance when he hears the crash of the church's massive double doors being thrown open. Edward is creating a diversion, drawing the female vampire's attention as he enters the church and confronts her.

Carlisle hears Edward harshly order, "Step away from her now Victoria, if you value your existence."

When Carlisle silently enters the nave, the sight that meets his eyes nearly paralyzes him with fear. Victoria stands directly over Esme's still body. He is too far away to help, for Victoria could snap her neck before he covered even half the distance between them. Victoria hasn't heard him enter; her attention focused entirely on Edward, who stands some twenty feet distant.

The urge to kill this animal who has hurt his mate burns like acid in his gut, but Carlisle knows he must draw on all his reserves of self control if they are to save Esme. He waits to see what Edward will do next.

Victoria gestures to the motionless form at her feet. "She's not dead," she says, her voice sweetly cajoling, her mouth twisted into a disturbingly ingratiating smile. "Do you see, Edward? I didn't kill your pet. Of course, I wanted to take her away and drink her, but I resisted, for you."

Edward scoffs. "What you mean, Victoria, is that you didn't expect me to be here to witness your crime." He circles around her to the left, his footfalls loud on the stone floor, and his voice is gentle, almost pitying.

"But oh, Victoria…you have made a terrible mistake."

She turns her body to keep him in sight, hungrily following him with her gaze, even as Carlisle silently creeps closer, eyes black as pitch.

"Whatever do you mean, Edward?" she asks, all innocence.

Edward continues walking, misdirecting her with motion and sound. "Victoria…" he says, shaking his head slowly, "…she is not _my_ pet." He stops and faces her, carefully keeping his gaze fixed on hers.

Victoria's smile remaines eerily in place, even as her eyes reflect confusion and dismay. "Not yours? But surely…I've seen you…"

Cold as death, Carlisle's voice comes from directly behind her. " _She's mine."_

Victoria whirls, too late. With a vicious snarl, Carlisle hurls her away, a terrible sharp crack resounding in the cavernous space. A second later, Victoria crashes against the far wall, crumbling stone raining down around her as she slides to the ground. She staggeres to her feet, holding her right wrist which ends gruesomely where her hand should be.

Carlisle smiles…and Edward reflectes not for the first time that he is grateful not to have this man as an enemy. The older man tosses the severed hand carelessly onto a nearby table.

Victoria's porcelain face is frozen in panic now as she realizes the gravity of her error. "Give it to me," she begs. "Give it to me, and this will be the last you see of me, I swear it!"

Carlisle takes the enormous prayer book from the lectern and fans it open on the table, pouring oil from a sanctuary lamp liberally to soak the paper.

He speaks gently, as if to a child. "You are still alive at this moment because _my mate_ is alive, and will recover." He drops a candle onto the oil-soaked pages, and they light eagerly, the fire growing until the enormous book is engulfed in greedy flames. "But Victoria, you have grievously injured her, and that offense cannot go unanswered."

She whimpers and begins to crawl toward him, her handless arm outstretched.

"Twice now, you have demonstrated your inability to remember the simple directive to follow us no more." Carlisle pauses and looks up to meet her eyes. "I trust this will serve as a reminder." He tosses the hand onto the fire and it ignites at once, sizzling blue flames mixing with the yellow of the blazing oil.

Victoria sinks back on her knees, inarticulate sounds escaping from her twisted mouth, defeated. It is done.

Carlisle dismisses her from his mind and turns to seek out his mate.

_Esme._

He hurries to where Edward sits with her, his cloak folded beneath her head.

Carlisle needs to touch her, to feel with his own hands the vital warmth of her skin and reassure himself that she is, indeed, still alive. For the first time, he lifts her carefully in his arms and cradles her head against his chest. He closes his eyes and reverently presses his lips to her hair, moved beyond reason with love for this selfless, gentle woman.

"I'll take her home," he says quietly. "I should stay with her until morning, make certain she is well and that le Prestre doesn't bother her again."

Carlisle meets Edward's eyes expectantly. "You will take care of everything here?"

Edward nods and answers without hesitation. "I will, sir." His gaze flickers in distaste to where Victoria crouches against a wall, whimpering. Carlisle carries Esme away into the darkness, and Edward settles in to watch the fire on the marble table burn down, until nothing is left but ash.

* * *

**Comburere = to burn up; hence to ruin or consume**

**A/N: If you're enjoying this story, won't you please say hello in a review?  
**


	20. Confidere II

**A/N:** _A note on Rumi... If you're anything like me, you read your stories as quickly as possible. When you get to the Rumi poetry, I invite you to slow down...way down...and to reread once or twice before you move on. In that way, hopefully they will speak to you as they do to Edward and Bella._

* * *

The females in the Cullen household had taken Edward under their collective wing.

He sat in an armchair, booted legs stretched before him, and listened to their wise counsel, only looking up when a question was directed his way. His jacket was thrown carelessly over an ottoman, and his hair was even wilder than usual, signaling his mounting impatience.

The women had him surrounded, as if they had purposely formed a barrier against his escape, though only Esme had a prayer of catching him, if it came to that, he thought with a sardonic grin. The other men were notably absent; Emmett was forgiven, as he was keeping an eye on Bella, but Carlisle and Jasper had willfully abandoned ship and gone hunting, the traitorous wretches.

The morning sun was well up, and Edward had not heard Bella's heartbeat, let alone seen her, since he had taken her home the previous evening. Alice had convinced him to take time away to hunt, after which the rest of his family had found one excuse after another to keep him from his mate. It was the first night he had spent away from Bella in six months, and he was nearly climbing the walls with frustration and anxiety.

Edward let his head drop back against the chair and closed his eyes. The conversation thus far had included the three women's feminine perspectives on human courtship—suggestions for outings, discussion of the rewards and perils of physical intimacy (much enthusiasm around this topic), appropriate gifts and tokens of affection, and the like—but now their advice had taken a most unwelcome turn.

 _"Semper in absentis felicior aestus amantis: elevat assiduos copia longa viros,"_ Edward muttered with a grumpy sigh.

"Precisely!" Esme exclaimed. To Alice and Rosalie she explained, "It amounts to 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'" They nodded in agreement as she turned back to her son. "The adage has survived some two thousand years…surely you can see the wisdom of putting it into practice, Edward."

"It was written by Sextus Propertius, and he was an ass," Edward argued, grasping at straws now. "Carlisle will tell you — he knew his mistress."

Esme rolled her eyes. "Regardless, it holds true. Human emotions are different from ours, Edward. You know this."

"You need to give Bella a chance to miss you," Alice said gently. "Look at the good that came from staying away last night."

"It's difficult to look, since you are unwilling to share what you saw," Edward replied wearily, rubbing a hand across his forehead.

Alice's shoulders drooped. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I truly believe it's better for you not to know yet."

"Never mind, Alice," he said, waving away her apology. "I know you're trying to help."

Edward rose from his chair and headed for the door. "Ladies, I appreciate all your help, truly, but I've reached my limit. I _need_ to be with her."

Rosalie was at his side in a flash, and he paused in the hall at the gentle touch on his shoulder.

"You _can_ still be with her, you know," she said. "Just don't let _her_ see _you_."

Edward lifted a brow in question and his sister smiled. "I have an idea about how you can still make your presence felt."

~oOo~

Bella leaned against the garden gate, watching as the last rays of the setting sun gilded the treetops beyond the field. Below, all was in shadow, the forest already shrouded beneath night's dark veil. The golden glow dimmed as she watched, until its warmth and light were but faded memories. Still she lingered, hoping to see a familiar form against the trees. At last the moonless night blanketed the field and forest alike in impenetrable darkness **,** and she turned to go inside.

She had not seen Edward all day, but she had found evidence of his presence nearly everywhere she turned. Her stomach fluttered as she thought again of his sweet gestures; throughout the day she had found wildflowers she recognized from the meadow, left for her in unlikely places as she went about her work. Now the blossoms were gathered in a vase at her bedside, where they sweetly perfumed the air.

Her aunt and Michael had already retired for the evening, so Bella doused the lights in the kitchen and slowly climbed the stairs to her room. She set the candle on the bedside table and paused with a smile. A perfect rose lay on her pillow, and beneath the blossom was a leather bound journal, wrapped in a ribbon of blue.

Bella lifted the rose to her face and inhaled its sweet fragrance, then added it to her bouquet, leaving the journal untouched. Her heart tripped with nervous excitement as she quickly readied for bed, casting frequent glances at the book that waited on her pillow. At last she crawled beneath the covers and sat back against the headboard with the journal on her lap.

Bella carefully untied the ribbon and opened the cover.

_My dearest Bella,_

_The poet Rumi is unsurpassed in his eloquent descriptions of love, yet even he cannot begin to express the depths of my love for you. Still, I leave you with his words, in hopes that you will glimpse at least a fraction of that which lies within my heart._

— _Edward_

.

I'm drenched

in the flood

which has yet to come

.

I'm tied up

in the prison

which has yet to exist

.

Not having tasted

a single cup of your wine

I'm already drunk

.

Not having entered

the battlefield

I'm already wounded and slain

.

I no longer

know the difference

between image and reality

.

Like the shadow

I am

And

I am not

.

Bella's hand came up to rest over her heart, rubbing lightly as if to ease the ache there. She thought of all the lonely nights Edward had spent watching over her, guarding her safety, when she hadn't even known yet that he existed. What kind of man possessed a heart so selfless? Yet he placed little value on his own worth.

She turned the page and gasped lightly; her own eyes stared back at her, Edward's initials in the bottom right corner naming him as the artist. The ache in her chest grew as she flipped slowly through the journal, finding page after page of drawings, skillfully rendered…all of herself. Some were sketches, hastily capturing the emotion of a moment with consummate skill, while others were completed drawings, each telling a story with exquisite detail. It was as if she were seeing herself through Edward's eyes…and the beauty of his vision was breathtaking.

.

In the early dawn of happiness

you gave me three kisses

so I would awaken

to this moment of love

.

You charm me with your touch

though I can't see your hands.

.

You have kissed me with tenderness

though I haven't seen your lips

.

You are hidden from me.

But it is you who keeps me alive

.

Bella's throat grew tight with unshed tears at the poignant longing in the words he had chosen. She missed Edward so that she felt her chest would burst with wanting him. She ran her fingers across the final page, and her tears spilled free. In a handful of days, her lonely life had been irrevocably transformed by Edward's love. In him, however improbably, she had found her heart's desire, her soulmate.

.

_The minute I heard my first love story,_

_I started looking for you, not knowing_

_how blind that was._

_._

_Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,_

_they're in each other all along._

_._

Bella closed her eyes and allowed images of Edward to fill her mind…his face alight with happiness at the simple pleasure of taking her for a ride…his eyes heavy with sorrow as he shared her pain at the loss of her parents…his kindness to little Jason when the boy wanted to "help" with repairs…his long, hard body pressed against hers, his eyes dark with need…

With a cry, Bella sat up, holding her forehead in dismay. She _needed_ to see Edward, to tell him all that was in her heart. Morning couldn't come quickly enough.

Bella closed the journal and tucked it under her pillow, then blew out the candle. For a long time, she lay on her side and looked toward the window and the darkness beyond, before sleep finally overtook her.

~oOo~

The next morning brought a steady rain that made working outdoors impossible. Bella gazed out the kitchen window toward the trees barely visible in the distance, and wondered once more if Edward was there. She was unbearably restless, her longing to see him an ache that never eased. She resolved to look for him as soon as the rain stopped, the decision making her feel somewhat better.

The rain cleared just before noon, and a fresh breeze scattered the clouds until all that remained were a few fluffy stragglers adorning the brilliant blue sky. Cheered by the change in the weather, Bella made her way out to the garden so she could search the tree line, but to no avail. She returned to the house a short while later with a basket of peas, lettuce and strawberries and rinsed them at the sink.

A knock sounded at the front door, and Bella heard her aunt's footsteps tap down the hall to answer it. Curious, Bella peeked around the corner to see who it was, but quickly pulled her head back when the door opened to reveal Edward, holding a bouquet of flowers. Bella's heart pounded with nervous excitement as she listened to the two exchange greetings.

"These are for you, Mrs. Newton," Edward said, "a peace offering of sorts, since I fear I may inconvenience you once again. I wonder if I might visit with Isabella for a few hours this afternoon?"

Bella listened in wonder as her aunt spluttered an affirmative response. Had Katherine just _giggled?_ Bella hung up her apron and smoothed her hair into place as best she could, then hurried back to the sink to look busy when she heard Katherine's footsteps approaching.

Her aunt bustled into the kitchen, flowers in hand. "Isabella, Mr. Cullen is here to see you!" she said as she took out a vase and filled it with water at the sink. "He brought flowers for the table — such a nice young man! Go ahead, don't keep him waiting. He's in the parlor." Her aunt looked over her shoulder to make shooing motions at her, then went back to arranging the flowers.

~oOo~

Edward eagerly rose to his feet as he heard Bella's footsteps in the hall, but she paused just out of view. He waited in some trepidation as he wondered why she hesitated. It seemed an eternity before she finally entered the room, and her carefully pleasant expression revealed nothing.

"Bella." He spoke her name with a sigh of relief, and his eyes hungrily took in every detail of her appearance, starved for the sight of her. Her hair was pinned into a loose coil at the nape of her neck, and tendrils had escaped to frame her face in gentle curls. Her cheeks were rosy, but from what emotion he didn't know. She met his eyes only briefly before lowering hers.

"Edward," she murmured, "it's lovely to see you. Won't you have a seat?"

He sat at one end of the settee, and Bella perched at the other, her hands folded demurely in her lap. Bella was terribly frustrated at her sudden shyness with Edward, but he simply was too much; his beautiful eyes seemed to see right through her, burning her with their intensity and forcing her to look away. Every nerve in her body sang with excitement in his presence, making it difficult to think.

They exchanged pleasantries about the weather, mindful of Aunt Katherine and the others who were within hearing. Presently, Katherine appeared, carrying a tray with tea and muffins. Edward rose to his feet and took the tray from her, earning a flurry of thanks from the older woman.

Katherine made much of the fact that Bella had made the oatmeal muffins, effusively praising her niece's skill as a cook. She watched as Edward took a bite, smiling when he hummed appreciatively. Bella suppressed a cringe on his behalf as she watched him chew.

Katherine peppered Edward with questions about his family, and he answered at length, relieved at the excuse to talk, rather than eat. Before long, Katherine seemed to decide she had fulfilled her duty as hostess and chaperone.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone to enjoy yourselves," she said. "Edward, please extend an invitation to your parents to join us for dinner one day soon."

Edward assured her that it would be their pleasure, and Aunt Katherine took her leave, smiling warmly at Edward as she said goodbye, and even giving Bella a pleasant look.

When Katherine had entered the kitchen, Bella whispered, "I'm so sorry, Edward! Are you very uncomfortable?"

He shook his head with a smile. "Not at all," he whispered. "I've had a great deal of practice at only appearing to eat." He opened a napkin to show her the dry crumbles of muffin that she thought he had eaten. There was the faintest flash of motion, and Bella blinked at his now empty hand.

"Where is it?" she asked with a delighted smile, trying to peer around and behind Edward while he enjoyed her efforts. Finally he took pity on her and pulled the napkin out of his jacket pocket.

Bella snorted and then covered her mouth, but Edward grinned and leaned close to whisper in her ear, "You're perfect." She lowered her eyes, a pleased smile curving her lips.

He stood and offered his hand. "Shall we go for a walk, milady?"

~oOo~

The air was pungent with the aromas of the forest after the morning's rain, and a cooling breeze made its way through the trees, caressing their faces and surrounding them with the gentle rustling of leaves. Edward took Bella's hand from his arm and linked his fingers with hers. "I missed you yesterday," he said, catching her eye before looking quickly away. He wished he could know her thoughts.

Bella's heart sped a few beats and she glanced shyly up at him. "I missed you, too," she answered. "Thank you for the flowers, and the journal. They were wonderful." Edward nearly sighed with relief. He resolved to thank the women back home as soon as he saw them.

He turned to face her. "Where would you like to go today?" he asked.

She looked up at him thoughtfully for a moment and then closed her eyes, an impish smile curving her lips. "Surprise me!"

"Are you sure?" he asked, and she peeked up to find him looking down at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes. She closed her eyes again and nodded, then let out a squeak as he whisked her up into his arms.

Edward bent his head close, ignoring the flare of pain at her nearness. "Hold tight," he whispered roughly in her ear, and she buried her face against his neck, breathing in his delicious scent with a sigh. He set off slowly at first, gaining speed until the wind whistled in her ears and blew her hair loose to stream behind them. They were going somewhere new, she realized with excitement, someplace much farther away than their meadow. It seemed to her that they were climbing a hill, and then Edward slowed to a stop and she opened her eyes. An enormous sitka spruce loomed before them, its trunk easily ten feet in diameter.

"Are you afraid of heights?" Edward asked, his face only inches from hers. She stared up at the tree towering above them and shook her head. He bent closer still to whisper against her cheek, "You must hold on _very_ tightly, Bella." He brushed his lips against her skin and felt a light tremor run through her body at his touch.

Bella buried her face against his neck again and tightened her grip. With a tremendous jolt, Edward leaped twenty feet onto the tree's lowest branch, and Bella let out a squeal of surprise, then laughed in delight, wiggling her feet playfully.

She grinned up at him, then looked down. "This is not so very high," she observed saucily. Edward feigned a panicked expression and pretended to drop her, laughing with her as she shrieked and clutched at his shoulders. When she had settled he looked up the trunk and then eyed her appraisingly.

"The climb will go faster if you ride on my back." He raised his eyebrows in challenge.

"Ah." She stared at him for a moment, and her eyes sparkled. "You'll need to let go of my legs first."

He smirked and carefully lowered her feet to the enormous branch on which he stood. Bella braced a hand on Edward's arm and bent down, pulling the back of her skirt up and tucking it into her waistband.

"Ready?" she asked.

Edward shook his head. "Probably not," he said with a wry smile, but he turned his back and nodded over his shoulder, bending his knees so she could more easily reach his neck.

She hopped lightly up and Edward caught her, supporting her weight with his hands under her hips until her slender legs were wrapped securely around his waist. Edward closed his eyes, steeling himself against the feel of her body pressed against his, then turned his head to murmur over his shoulder, "You probably shouldn't watch," and Bella obligingly hid her face against his neck.

They began to climb, the occasional brush of soft spruce needles against her face marking their passage upward as Edward smoothly moved from branch to branch, occasionally scaling the trunk unaided. At last their motion stopped, and Bella opened her eyes in surprise when she heard Edward's boots on what sounded like a wooden floor. A platform had been built into the tree, stretching out from the trunk some eight feet on all sides.

"You can climb down now," Edward said, "It's quite safe. Emmett built it."

Bella released a shuddering breath and loosened her grip. She slid down, then sank to the floor to sit on her heels as Edward sat companionably beside her. The floor beneath her swayed with the motion of the tree in the wind, and Bella clutched at Edward's arm nervously.

Edward rubbed his hand soothingly over the small of her back. "I asked Emmett to add the railing for you yesterday," he said. "I hope it helps you to feel secure."

Her heart stuttering nervously, Bella rose to her feet and gingerly crossed to the sturdy waist-high railing at the edge of the platform to look out. Edward joined her, watching her profile as she gazed into the distance. Her hair had come loose and tumbled down her back in tangled curls, her cheeks were flushed, and he thought she had never looked so beautiful.

In her wildest dreams, Bella had never imagined being so high. The platform was at least two hundred feet up the giant spruce, and the tree itself was situated at the top of a hill. It was like being in the heavens, looking down on the beauty of creation all around. The lush green of the forest spread on all sides, the Sol Duc and Queets Rivers a sparkling deep blue as they wound their way through the trees, searching out the lowest route to the sea. The ocean was clearly visible in the distance, a lighter blue with dark, rocky islets jutting high out of the water like tiny fingers.

"I feel as if I'm in a dream," she murmured, turning shining eyes up to smile up at him. "Thank you for bringing me here."

For a long moment Edward was lost in the radiance of her smile. "I'm glad it pleases you," he murmured, brushing a lock of windswept hair from her cheek.

They moved along the rail, Edward pointing out landmarks as they went, and when at last she had looked her fill, Bella turned to study the tree house more closely. A roof covered half of the platform, leaving the rest open to the sky. Next to the trunk was a stack of large cushions, and Edward took one and placed it near the edge of the platform where they would be able to see the ocean. They sat together, their shoulders lightly touching.

"What inspired Emmett to build this?" Bella asked. She gripped the post next to her and carefully looked down, scanning the forest below.

"We all have such keen hearing that there's no privacy at home." Edward avoided looking at her as he replied. "The couples in the family felt the need for a place they could go that was well away from the house." He shrugged a shoulder. "And two hundred feet up a tree, there's no chance of hunters or loggers interrupting, either."

The wind rocked the tree slowly, causing the great trunk to creak and groan against the boards of the treehouse. Edward lay back onto the cushion and Bella followed suit, gazing up at the bows above them that swayed gently in the breeze.

"I used to come here, to get away from the sounds at home," Edward confessed with a grimace.

Bella turned her head so she could see his face. "Was it very difficult for you, after Rosalie found Emmett?" she asked.

"No more than usual," Edward said, keeping his tone light. "I'd been the odd man out with Esme and Carlisle for a very long time before Rosalie joined us. I was accustomed to the role." Bella could see that Edward didn't want her pity, so she resisted the urge to say more on the subject.

She took his cool hand in hers and distracted herself by playing with his fingers. Opening his hand, she turned it over and slowly traced a path across his palm. Edward shivered in response to her gentle touch, and she raised her eyes to find him watching her intently.

"This is the effect you have on me, Bella," he murmured huskily. "A simple touch, and I'm undone."

Holding his gaze, she traced a finger lightly along his wrist and watched as his eyes darkened to a smoky amber, then drifted closed, dark lashes fanning his cheeks. She stroked her fingers along his forearm, reveling in this chance to study him unobserved. The afternoon sun bathed Edward's face in golden light, making the dark brows and lashes even more striking against his pale skin. The sinful curve of his lips begged to be touched, but Bella resisted, contenting herself with trailing her fingers along his arm, happy to see him so at peace.

"Your touch affects me as well," she whispered. To her dismay, Edward opened his eyes and gently pulled away.

Bella bit her lip as a blush stained her cheeks. "Why does that bother you?" she asked. "Why shouldn't I be affected by you? Don't you want me to be?"

Edward sat up and she followed, more slowly.

He sighed and took her hand. "It's not that I don't want you to be," he assured her, "I do, believe me…but I need to explain some things first."

"What kinds of things?" she asked, dejectedly picking at a loose thread on the hem of her skirt.

"You know that vampires are predators," he said, "but I haven't explained the effect we have on humans." Edward lightly touched her face, encouraging her to look at him. "Please, Bella…this is important." She abandoned the thread and straightened, giving him her attention.

"Even without our strength and speed, you have no defenses against us…against _me_." His mouth twisted. "Everything about me is designed to lure you closer…my face, my voice, even my scent. Bella, you aren't affected by _me._ You're affected by _what I am._ " He scoffed bitterly, looking away. "You have no choice."

He turned back, his face grim. "When we were in the library together, I lost control. All I could think of was being closer to you. I seduced you, giving no thought to your wishes, nor to whether you had any choice in the matter."

He went on more quietly. "Bella, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to force my attentions on you. I promise, I'll not take advantage in such away again."

Bella didn't know what to say. She looked away and watched the treetops in the distance rustle and sway in the quickening breeze. She had thought Edward's misgivings about their time together in his room had been laid to rest…but at least now she understood why he still believed he had wronged her. She also knew that it would be difficult to convince him otherwise.

She turned back to him and tilted her head. "All vampires are irresistible to humans?" she asked, and Edward nodded.

"Then tell me…Why am I not attracted to Carlisle…or Emmett, or Jasper?"

Edward gazed at her, his forehead lightly furrowed. "You aren't?"

"No!" she exclaimed, and her look of mild disgust made him smile, in spite of himself.

"I think they're handsome, in the same way I can tell my cousin is a nice looking man. But I feel no _attraction_ to them at all." She shrugged and pursed her lips. "They _do_ smell nice, I suppose…a bit like cinnamon cookies."

Edward snorted, and his eyes crinkled in amusement. "Don't tell them you said that," he said. "They'll be crushed."

"I promise I won't tell your family they smell like cookies," she said solemnly.

A thought occurred to Edward then, but before he could voice it, Bella leaned forward and daringly turned her face into the side of his neck, running her nose along the smooth skin as she inhaled deeply. Edward moved not a muscle as she backed off enough to look into his stunned eyes. She raised a finely arched brow. " _You_ smell _nothing_ like cookies," she whispered slowly, then sat back on her heels with a satisfied smile.

The corner of Edward's mouth curved upward as he regarded her with a hungry glint in his eyes, and Bella's stomach tumbled in response. He picked up a spruce cone that had fallen from the branches above and rolled it in his fingers as he studied her.

"So, you don't find the other males in my family attractive…"

Bella shook her head. "Only you, Edward."

He frowned slightly and his fingers stilled. "Perhaps it's because you're my singer," he murmured.

"I'm your singer? What does that mean?"

Edward looked down at the fragile cone in his hands. "Your blood is…perfect…for me, as if it was made for me alone," he said quietly. He lifted his eyes to hers. "It should be impossible for me to resist killing you."

"But you haven't. You won't," she whispered, her eyes completely trusting.

"I seem to have a talent for self-control," he agreed with a crooked smile, tossing the cone away, "at least where your blood is concerned." He sat forward. "But I wonder if being my singer makes you more susceptible to me as well?"

Bella closed her eyes in frustration. Of course, that was what Edward would focus on. He seemed determined to believe the only reason she was drawn to him was some overblown predator-prey relationship…but that was far from the truth. She had to make him see that her feelings were real, and not something imposed upon her by vampire magnetism.

"You believe I have no defenses against your…" she waggled her fingers in his direction "…vampirey…powers of seduction?"

Edward smirked and nodded, "I _know_ you haven't."

Bella smiled. "Edward…that first night we met in the kitchen, did I seem defenseless to you then?" She raised an eyebrow and waited.

Edward frowned in confusion.

"No," he said, clearly surprised at his answer. "You were attracted to me, but you also seemed to find it quite easy to hold yourself at a distance."

"I did find it easy," she agreed. "In fact, I found you _too_ attractive. It made me feel vulnerable. I didn't like it."

"You were right to feel that way," Edward said. "You should trust those instincts, Bella."

She ignored him and pushed on, "The point is that you were wrong about me. I was _not_ defenseless against you. Edward, even once we began spending time together, I didn't truly give you a chance, not at first. I was too concerned with guarding my own heart." She took his hand. "Edward…I'm sorry for that."

Edward smiled, though his eyes were sad. "I understand, Bella," he murmured. "I'm far from the ideal partner for you. There's no need for apology." He looked down at their joined hands and was silent, his face pensive. The wind lifted his hair, gently tousling it against his forehead, making him look younger even than his human years.

She needed to tell him.

Bella's heart began to pound. She knew that once she uttered these next words, there could be no turning back with this man. His love ran too deep. He had known more pain than anyone should have to experience in a lifetime, and more, and she would sooner die than add to his suffering.

Edward lifted his eyes. "Your heart is racing," he said quietly. "Bella, please tell me what's wrong."

It was as if she stood at a precipice, ready to leap blindly into the promise of a new world. But as she gazed back at him, she knew with certainty that it didn't matter where she landed, or what she found there, as long as Edward was with her.

"I've no need to guard my heart any longer," she whispered, her eyes bright with tears. "Edward…I love you."

_I'm not worthy of your love._

Bella reached up and smoothed the tension away from Edward's forehead with gentle fingers. "You deserve to be happy, Edward," she whispered, her gaze never wavering from his. "You deserve to be loved. Edward…I love you."

_You're too young…you don't understand what you're saying…you'll come to realize your mistake in time…_

"Edward," she whispered, "you love me. _Trust_ me."

Bella leaned in and pressed butterfly kisses against his face, whispering words of love, and Edward didn't move, didn't even breathe.

_Trust._

He did trust her.

An age-old tightness in Edward's chest suddenly released, the sensation so sharp that he gasped. He shuddered lightly, every particle in his body flooding with light and warmth.

_You love me._

Edward buried his hands in Bella's hair and traced open-mouthed kisses across her face, murmuring against her skin, " _Bella mea."_

He drew back and gazed into her eyes, his face transparent with wonder. _"Mirabile dictu. Me amas."_

She smiled up at him, her eyes soft as she stroked his hair.

Edward pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her slender form, resting his head on hers and closing his eyes as he rocked her gently. "Deliciae meae," he whispered, "in aeternum te amabo."

* * *

**_Bella mea = my Bell_ ** **_a_ **

**_Mirabile dictu. Me amas. = It's a miracle. You love me._ **

**_Deliciae meae = my darling, my sweetheart_ **

**_in aeternum te amabo = I will love you forever._ **

**_Confidere = to trust completely_ **

**A new timeline is up on the blog - link on my profile.**

**Thank you for reading! If you're enjoying this story, won't you please say hello in a review or comment?  
**


	21. Incendens

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

Edward buried his hands in Bella's hair and traced open-mouthed kisses across her face, groaning at the taste of her skin. _"Bella mea."_

He drew back and gazed into her eyes, his face transparent with wonder. _"Mirabile dictu. Me amas."_

She smiled up at him, her eyes soft as she stroked his hair.

Edward pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her slender form, resting his head against hers and closing his eyes as he rocked her gently. " _Deliciae meum_ ," he whispered, " _in aeternum te amabo_."

The world around them could have disappeared, and Bella would have been conscious only of Edward's body enfolding hers, his long arms holding her close, muscled thighs shifting beneath her as she moved closer still. She breathed in his intoxicating scent and hummed against his chest, nuzzling her face against the cool cotton of his shirt.

Her love for Edward was like a living thing, demanding expression; she yearned to show him what was in her heart, make him understand how precious he was, if only he would let her. She felt her heart begin to beat more heavily and knew Edward could hear and would wonder at the cause. Slowly, she worked her way up his shirt until she reached the collar and released the top buttons. Heartened by his acceptance, she stroked her nose along his neck, then pressed her lips against the sensitive skin just under Edward's chin. He inhaled, and a small sound came from the back of his throat, sending a shiver down Bella's spine.

She shifted again on his lap. In an instant Edward's hands were at her hips, holding her in place.

His voice was rough. "Take care, love."

"I'm sorry," she whispered against his throat, though she wasn't at all repentant.

"Bella," he said, his voice tight, "I promised I wouldn't take advantage again. But you're making it very difficult."

She drew back to look into his eyes, now a smokey amber beneath his dark lashes. "I thought we'd settled the question of you taking advantage," she murmured, "but since you're still worried…I'd like to make a proposal." He lifted a brow, inviting her to continue.

She took a deep breath for courage. "Will it be better if I set the pace of…whatever we do?" she asked, her heart stuttering.

Edward's brows furrowed as he looked at her upturned face. "Do you promise to tell me if anything is too much…if I hurt you?"

She nodded. "I promise."

Bella climbed off Edward's lap and lay back against the cushion, raising an arm to him invitingly. He was still for a moment, but then slowly joined her, lying on his side and bracing himself upon one elbow.

"I love you," she murmured, and Edward's eyes flared with emotion. "I love you," he said, and leaned toward her, but then Bella rose up on her elbow and he froze, watching her expectantly.

She reached out and traced her fingers along his cheek. "May I…may I just touch you?" She asked, her stomach fluttering with nervous excitement.

Edward swallowed thickly as he searched her eyes. "Of course," he murmured. He lay back against the cushion, watching her intently.

"Are you certain?" she asked, her brow knitting with concern. "I don't mean to…" She stopped and bit her lip. "I know there were times when…when people wanted to touch you, and you couldn't…"

Edward pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm, then placed it back against his cheek. His eyes glowed with warmth as he assured her, "This is nothing like those times, Bella. I love you."

"I love you," she whispered, filled with wonder at the happiness she felt simply at saying the words aloud. Bella traced her fingers up to Edward's forehead and ran them slowly through his soft, tousled hair, and he closed his eyes, turning his head toward her touch.

The tree trunk creaked as it swayed slowly side to side in the warm breezes, rocking them gently in their airy bower. Edward almost seemed to sleep beneath her gentle caresses, though she knew he couldn't be. She thought of the bed in his room, and then of the works of art she'd found on his desk.

"I saw a drawing in your bedroom," Bella said softly, "…a girl on a horse. Her face is very like yours. Is she your sister?"

One corner of Edward's mouth lifted just a bit. "Yes," he said.

Bella's eyes followed her fingers as they gently curled and twisted a lock of his hair. "I was thinking," she said, "that you couldn't have drawn your sister in such detail without a clear memory of your life then."

He opened his eyes to watch her. "But that night in my room," she whispered, "you said you barely remembered."

Edward's brow furrowed. "I…sought to spare you from worrying about what I experienced then."

"You remember it all?" she asked, keeping her face carefully composed.

He nodded minutely. Edward reached up a hand and stroked her cheek. "I apologize for lying to you," he murmured, his face tight with remorse. "You've suffered much this past year, and I couldn't bear to add to your concerns." His eyes were sad as he searched hers. "Please forgive me."

"Of course," she whispered, smiling softly in reassurance.

Bella's stomach twisted painfully as she thought once more of what he had endured as a young man…but she didn't want Edward to worry over upsetting her again, so she turned her mind away from the disturbing images.

She tenderly stroked her fingers along his brow and down his cheek, repeating the gesture until Edward's eyes drifted closed, dark lashes fanning against his cheeks. She traced her fingers feather-light across his eyelids and down his hollow cheeks, then brushed them across his mouth, slowly tracing the curve of his upper lip and then the across the fullness of his lower. Edward's brows furrowed and his mouth fell open a crack, and Bella took her own bottom lip in her teeth, resisting the urge to kiss him.

Instead, her fingers traveled down his corded neck, lightly brushing over the bump of his Adam's apple and then spreading out to smooth across the broad expanse of Edward's chest, the crisp cotton of his shirt hiding nothing of the contours beneath. A familiar warmth blossomed inside of her and spread, the hard feel of him beneath her exploring hands fanning the flame and making her bold.

Edward's breaths grew deeper as she caressed the lean muscles of his shoulders and arms, then returned to his chest. Her exploring fingers brushed slowly across the hardened nubs there and he gasped sharply, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, but he didn't protest. His breaths were coming faster now, and she watched his face, mesmerized by the way his jaw worked as her fingers trailed ever so slowly down, over the subtle ridges of his stomach. One finger dipped lightly into the depression of his navel, and the muscles clenched, his mouth falling open on a gasp.

"Bella." His voice was strained and his eyes flew open, dark and hungry. He sat up and they stared at one another, breaths shallow, the air between them fairly crackling with tension. Bella inched closer, and immediately Edward closed the distance between them and kissed her, his mouth against hers consuming, overwhelming her senses, leaving her breathless and desperate to be closer. He twisted their bodies until he was above her and Bella lay back slowly, pulling him down with eager hands.

Suddenly, Edward froze. A deep growl rumbled from his chest and he sprang to his feet, his face hard and fierce as he searched the forest far below.

Bella sat up straight, the hair standing up on the back of her neck and her stomach filled with dread at the change in him. "Edward," she asked, her voice trembling, "what's happening?"

"Wait here!" His voice was harsh with urgency. "I promise I'll return for you."

In an instant he was over the rail and gone. Bella scrambled to her feet and looked down in time to see him fall out of sight through the branches below.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Incendens = burning with passion**

**ummmm...thoughts? next chapter up very soon, promise.**


	22. Imminere

**A/N: Answers**

* * *

" _Edward, there's trouble!"_

Carlisle's urgent voice rang in Edward's mind as he fell, crashing through branches to slam into the forest floor in a crouch, just as the older man came to a halt at the base of the tree.

"What trouble?" Edward demanded harshly, "Tell me!"

"Alice had a vision," Carlisle told him quickly. "She saw Victoria, here, coming for you and Bella, probably not today, but soon."

Edward cursed viciously. _"Eam_ _Iuppiter dique omnes perdant!_ _"_

"There's more," Carlisle warned and laid a steadying hand on his son's arm. "Victoria found Hunter and changed him. They're both coming."

For the first time in his existence, Edward felt pure fear. It hit like a hammer, crushing the air from his lungs and making it impossible to breathe. With terrible clarity, his mind summoned images of Bella in the hands of these monsters. He knew the unbearable agony of losing her, was nearly staggered by the force of it. Then instinctively, his mind rejected the blasphemous idea that there could be a world without Bella, one in which she ceased to exist.

He roared out a denial and slammed his fist into a nearby boulder, splitting it with a tremendous crack that resounded through the forest. Rage, white hot and consuming, flooded every cell in his body with lethal power, clawing for release. His mind focused with searing intensity on one imperative: _kill_. He would hunt them to the ends of the earth and destroy them.

Edward's breath rasped harshly in his throat and his face contorted with the effort to maintain his humanity, afraid that he would lose himself to the monster that had surfaced. He shook his head roughly, desperately trying to dispel the primal instincts that threatened to overtake all reason. His hands clenched at his sides as he slowly managed to control his ragged breathing.

Bella needed him.

And as long as she was near, he couldn't risk a fight. Slowly, steadily he battled his inner demons until he was himself again.

Carlisle was waiting patiently, his brows furrowed in concern and sympathy.

Edward looked up to the treetop where Bella waited for him. "I have to get Bella away! She can't be here when they come!"

"You may be right," Carlisle said, "but you should hear Alice out before making any decisions." He was already backing away. "I'll see you at home," he said, and disappeared into the trees.

Edward leaped upward, reaching the treetop in seconds. Bella still stood at the railing, her face pale and anxious. She gasped as he wrapped her tightly in his arms and buried his face against her hair.

"Edward? You're shaking! What happened?" Her voice rose in panic. "Edward, you're frightening me!"

"I'm sorry," he choked, "Please, just let me get you home first. Please, Bella."

He lifted her into his arms and, unwilling to take the time climbing down would have required, carried her to the ground in a long series of controlled falls. He ran home at speeds that far surpassed what Bella had experienced with him before, and she was gasping by the time they arrived at the house. Edward quickly mounted the steps and carried her inside, shouldering the door closed behind them.

He carefully lowered Bella's feet to the floor and she clung to him, trembling, while he held her close and whispered words of assurance against her hair. When her breathing had returned to normal, he murmured, "I'm sorry I frightened you. We think the danger isn't immediate, but I couldn't take a chance." His arms tightened around her and he whispered roughly, "Bella…I can never let anything happen to you."

The pain in Edward's voice made Bella want to be brave, for his sake. She hugged him with all her strength. "Edward, I understand," she said. "and I'm fine now." She pulled back and mustered a smile. "Whatever this is, we'll get through it."

He stroked her hair back from her forehead. "Are you feeling well enough to be with my family?"

She nodded, and they walked into the drawing room hand in hand. Esme immediately came and hugged them each in turn. "Everything is going to be fine," she said with conviction, holding Edward's eyes. She smiled at Bella. "Sweetheart, you must be tired. Would you like to sit?"

"Thank you," Bella said gratefully. She sat with Edward on the love seat and he put his arm around her, needing her as close as possible. Bella seemed to feel the same. She scooted closer until they were pressed together, then leaned her head against him with a sigh.

"Edward," she said, "Will you explain what happened?"

Edward stroked his fingers gently along her arm in a soothing pattern as he spoke. "Alice believes a vampire named Victoria poses a threat to us," he told her quietly. "While that's cause for concern, we can handle Victoria when the time comes. Unfortunately, she met up with James Hunter in Sacramento and she's made him a vampire, so we'll have to deal with both of them."

Bella's face tightened and her heart raced with fear at Hunter's name, though she tried to hide it. Edward leaned close and whispered, "Sweetheart, please, don't be afraid. I won't let him hurt you."

She nodded and asked, "Do you know when they're coming?"

Alice answered her. "I can't say exactly, but we have time, according to what I've seen. The visions shift, they change, depending upon the decisions made by everyone involved. But right now, the most likely time I see them coming is early fall."

Edward relaxed minutely on hearing this. "We can find Victoria well before then, take them both out before they get close," he said with determination, but Alice shook her head, her eyes briefly clouding before coming back into focus.

"I don't see that working, Edward. Victoria is…there's something different about her. You can't tell where she is for some reason, you can't find her. Whenever she's alone, you can't track her. I'm sorry." Alice truly looked miserable at being the bearer of bad tidings.

Carlisle sat forward. "Victoria must have some kind of talent," he said. "I need to send a telegram to Eleazar. He saw her in Volaterrae the same night I first brought you to the castle, Edward. He should be able to tell us something."

He kissed Esme on the cheek, then stood and rested a hand on Edward's shoulder. "We'll figure this out, son."

Edward nodded. "Thank you, Carlisle."

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Carlisle said, and with a last look at Esme, he disappeared through the door.

They were silent for a moment, then Edward sat back and said, "I hope it won't be necessary to fight, but the alliance between Victoria and James makes some kind of confrontation almost a certainty. It will be useful to understand their motivations…so I'll start at the beginning."

He looked down for a moment, and his jaw tightened. "Victoria enjoys having…relations with human men. But unlike the succubi, she doesn't drain her lovers; she keeps them with her for a time as consorts. She noticed me when I was a human and came to my room one night, looking for me…but instead, she found my sister." He cleared his throat. "Pippa had just given birth, and there was a great deal of blood. Victoria killed her."

Bella gasped in dismay, and Edward reached for her hand, holding it in his lap as he continued.

"I'd heard my sister scream, so I ran into the room and caught Victoria as she was…feeding. She snapped my neck, not realizing it was I who had attacked her."

From their composed expressions, Emmett, Rosalie and Esme already had heard this account, but Jasper and Alice were listening with looks of mingled sympathy and horror. Bella's face was streaked with tears.

"Carlisle came upon the scene," Edward continued. "He was a Volturi guard at that time. He ordered Victoria away to the castle to be punished. My mother begged Carlisle to save me…and for some reason he agreed." He felt Bella squeeze his hand and returned the gesture gratefully.

"The Volturi banished Victoria from the continent and also warned her that if she calls attention to our kind with such carelessness again, she'll be executed. She seems to take at least the second threat quite seriously."

Jasper had leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees as he listened intently. His brows furrowed with concern as Edward continued.

"The first time Victoria tracked me down was in Oxford, about eight hundred years ago. That was when I learned that she was both obsessive and delusional." He grimaced. "Apparently, back in Volaterrae when she discovered she hadn't killed me after all, that I'd become a vampire, Victoria twisted the whole turn of events into a belief that I am destined to be her mate. She seems bent on doing whatever it takes to make that belief a reality."

Edward felt Bella stiffen next to him and tightened his arm around her reassuringly. "I reminded Victoria that she had ended my human life and murdered my sister, and as such I was much more likely to kill her slowly than to mate with her." Emmett scoffed in agreement.

"She ran off with her tail between her legs," Edward continued, "and I thought I was rid of her…but she found us again in Paris two hundred years later, in defiance of the Volturi's orders that she never return to the continent. She'd seen Carlisle and me with Esme and wrongly concluded that I was the one in love with her." He shared an amused smile with Esme.

"We caught Victoria just in time to prevent her from killing Esme." Edward smiled darkly. "Carlisle explained Victoria's mistake to her and removed her right hand as a reminder." This last earned a grunt of approval from Jasper.

"It should have been enough to dissuade her," Edward said, "but apparently her insanity runs deeper than we thought."

Jasper straightened. "Why did you not kill Victoria and be done with it?" he asked curiously.

"Carlisle and I believe in taking the least harmful path possible," Edward replied. "I long since had forgiven Victoria for my sister's death. She had not intended to kill anyone that night, and she had been punished. And remember, we had seen her only twice over a span of thirteen hundred years. The matter with Esme was settled, and since I never thought to find a mate, Victoria was little more than a pitiable nuisance. This is the first we've heard of her since then."

Jasper still looked perplexed, but said nothing.

"As for Hunter…" Edward shook his head. "I have been thinking about how Victoria could have chanced to meet him in Sacramento, and I don't think it happened that way. It's much more likely that the two already knew each other." His face was grim as he continued. "I think when Rosalie and Esme took Hunter south, Victoria followed at a distance so she could keep track of him and meet up with him later."

Rosalie nodded. "I've been thinking the same."

Bella's heart stuttered. "But…that would mean Victoria was here before, and we didn't know!"

Edward nodded and pulled her a bit closer. "I'm afraid so. It would explain why Hunter showed up here and started bothering you…and why he wasn't more surprised at finding himself in a house full of vampires."

"I had wondered about that," Esme murmured. "He took everything far too much in stride."

Alice sat forward and said, "Excuse me, but…what did Hunter do? This must have happened before our arrival."

Bella answered her. "He was staying at my aunt's boarding house. He waited until everyone had left for town and then tried to force himself on me. But Edward intervened and sent him packing," Bella looked up at Edward with pride.

Emmett swore under his breath. "It must have been Hunter's own idea to turn him at this time," he said, his brow heavy with concern. "Remember, he was going on about having his revenge for the beating you gave him, Edward…and for keeping him from Bella."

Jasper shifted in his chair. "James Hunter was a sick bastard as a human. I can only assume those qualities will be amplified in him as a newborn."

"Newborn?" Bella asked.

"A newly made vampire," Edward explained quietly. "For up to a year, newborns are much stronger than older vampires, and they are emotionally volatile. It's not a good combination."

Bella had been trying to be stoic as she listened to Edward tell about Victoria, but the thought of James Hunter as a newborn vampire filled her with dread. Her face paled and her heart began to race again.

Edward bent his head to hers in concern. "Sweetheart, he will never hurt you," he said. "I'll protect you, with my life if necessary."

Bella's spine stiffened and unshed tears brightened her eyes as she glared at him. "Don't you _dare_ talk of giving up your life for me!" she said furiously. "Don't even _think_ of doing that to me, Edward Cullen! I won't have it!"

Suddenly remembering their audience, Bella looked around at the others. Emmet and Jasper were covering smiles, but Esme and Rosalie were looking at her with sympathy and understanding in their eyes. Alice's face was inscrutable.

"Bella," Edward said softly, drawing her attention back to him, "Love…I'm sorry I upset you. That was far from my intention. I won't be alone; all of us will work to keep you safe."

"Hell, yes!" exclaimed Emmett, earning a reproachful look from Esme. "Bella, I've been looking out for you for a while now. No reason to stop. You already seem like my little sister."

"We all feel that way, Bella," Rosalie agreed.

Jasper leaned forward slightly. "Miss Swan, though we don't yet know you as well as the others, Alice and I are committed to this family…and even if that were not the case, I would be honored to defend you against these two villains."

Esme covered Bella's hand with her own and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Bella," she said earnestly, gesturing toward Edward, "I've been waiting to see _that_ look on my son's face for far too long. I'm more grateful to you than I can say. We're here for you."

Bella turned from Esme to look up at Edward, who was watching her with transparent adoration. "There, you see?" he said with a gentle smile, "There's nothing to worry about."

Bella didn't look convinced. She cast her eyes around at the others, "I'm very grateful, of course…but I don't want _anyone_ to be hurt on my behalf," she protested, looking finally to Esme for support.

It was Rosalie who answered her. "Of course not, Bella. But remember, there are only two of them, against the seven of us."

Esme patted Bella's hand. "Carlisle and Edward have been around for a long time, Bella, and both of them trained extensively with the Volturi. They avoid fighting now, but believe me, they've seen more than their share of combat."

Edward whispered against Bella's hair, "You don't have to worry about us, Bella. But thank you."

Jasper spoke up again. "Bella, I have extensive experience in dealing with newborns. Please rest assured, we will be ready for James Hunter, when and if he comes here."

Bella smiled at him tentatively, and Edward nodded his thanks.

Esme had been watching Bella's peaked face, and now she stood. "I think we've covered everything we can today," she said quietly. "Bella looks exhausted. Why don't we talk about this again once Carlisle comes home?"

~oOo~

The sun had set behind the trees by the time Bella and Edward arrived outside the back door of the boarding house, having learned from experience that the front door was too public a place for proper goodbyes. They stood with their heads bent together, hands clasped.

Edward said lowly, "May I come to you this evening?"

Bella smiled with relief. "I was going to ask if you would," she said. "I'm not sure I'll feel safe without you with me."

"I'll be here waiting, Bella, right outside, until you open the window and invite me in. I'm not going anywhere."

He kissed Bella's forehead, closing his eyes and lingering a moment. At last he drew away. "You need only to call, and I will come," he whispered tenderly. "I love you."

"I love you," she whispered with a trembling smile, then turned and slipped through the kitchen door.

Edward mounted Aethon and, for appearances' sake, rode past the front of the boarding house toward town, leading Jolie behind him. He had just entered the trees when he saw a figure emerge from the shadows ahead.

"Jasper!" Edward said with surprise. I was expecting Rosalie." Edward dismounted and let the horses graze beside the road. Jasper came to a stop by the palomino mare and patted her neck.

"I thought you might appreciate someone to talk to," he said. "But first I have a confession."

Edward scowled, having had enough surprises for one day, but Jasper quickly said, "I have a talent of which I haven't told you. I can sense others' emotions. I can also influence them, though I would never do so among friends without permission."

"Do the others know about this?" Edward asked in surprise, and Jasper nodded, then shrugged with a smirk. "You aren't home very much."

He eyed Edward sympathetically. "You were putting up a good front today back at the house, but I could feel the anger and fear rolling off you in waves. I don't know how you kept your composure, except that you managed it for Bella's sake."

Edward felt that same mask of composure slip, and the fear and anger he'd been holding at bay began to take hold once more, quickly rising up until he felt they would choke him. He looked accusingly at Jasper, but the other man shook his head. "I'm sorry. It isn't me."

Edward sank down at the base of a tree with his elbows on his knees and dropped his head, folding his hands behind his neck. He focused on his breathing and released the panic and anger until he was calm once more.

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Impressive," he said. "Where did you learn to do that?" He joined Edward on the ground, a few feet away.

Edward sat up and leaned his head back against the tree. "Monks in Burma," he replied. "It's been fifteen hundred years, but I'm reasonably sure they're still there, if you'd like to find them."

Jasper smiled crookedly and shook his head. "I don't think Alice would like it there," he said, and Edward chuckled in agreement.

Twilight painted the sky in hues of orange and pink and it was dark now under the trees, though of course it mattered little to the two men who waited there. The horses stomped and grazed contentedly, nickering softly to each other from the shadows.

Edward closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of Bella and her aunt working in the kitchen. "I hate being separated from her," he said. "I'm constantly judging how far away I am, how long it will take me to reach her if there's trouble, what kinds of threats might be able to take her before I can get there…"

"She hates it, too," Jasper replied. "She's miserable right now, though she's pretending otherwise for her aunt."

Edward opened his eyes. "You can tell that from here?" he asked.

Jasper nodded. "I can feel the emotion from here, and since I know Bella, I can recognize that it's coming from her."

"Can you influence someone from this far away as well?" Edward asked curiously.

Jasper shrugged. "Probably farther."

Edward stored this knowledge away and turned his attention back to the house. Bella was explaining to her aunt that she didn't feel well and asking to be excused from dinner.

"Why don't you just change her?" Jasper asked.

Edward looked at him in surprise, but tried to consider the possibility, which before he had always relegated to the realm of fantasy. Then he shook his head. "I can't ask it of her," he said. "I know she loves me…I believe her. But she's a beautiful, intelligent young woman. I can't ask her to throw away any chance at a normal life for me." He scowled at Jasper. "Why are you smiling?"

"The others told me you got this way," Jasper replied, his eyes twinkling with humor.

Edward stared at him a moment, but then smiled and looked away, shaking his head in self-deprecation.

"The way I see it," Jasper said, "— not that you asked me — Bella is madly in love with you, _and_ also bound to you as your mate."

Edward raised his eyebrows and Jasper nodded, "Yes, I can sense that as well." Jasper stood and clapped Edward on the shoulder, then swung up onto the stallion's back. "Have a good night, Edward," he said, then turned the horse's head toward home.

Alone with his thoughts, Edward stood and looked toward the boarding house, his mind a maelstrom of conflicting ideas and emotions. How could he ensure that Bella would be safe? He had discounted Victoria as a true danger, but until they knew what kind of talent she possessed, he had to consider her a threat, the same as Hunter. His jaw clenched as he thought of the newborn. There were too many variables, too many ways things could go wrong.

The only way he could be sure of Bella's safety, he decided, was to be with her, not watching from afar, but at her side. His once turbulent thoughts gave way to clarity; he had chosen his course. The glow of candlelight appeared in a third floor window, and a moment later, Bella drew up the sash.

* * *

**A/N:**

" _ **Eam**_ _ **Iuppiter dique omnes perdant!**_ _ **" =**_ **Jupiter and all the gods damn her!**

**_Imminere_ = to threaten; to be imminent **


	23. Perturbatio

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: Angelus Ardens has a new banner! Many thanks to Mina Rivera for her incredible work. Link on my profile page. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 23 - Perturbatio**

* * *

Bella watched eagerly from her window as Edward approached the house. Few would have recognized the dark shape for a man, for he moved much too quickly to be aught but fanciful imagination. Since it was not yet full dark, Edward kept to the treeline, then cut across to the back of the house too quickly to be seen by human eyes. Bella stepped back as Edward landed silently on the ledge and grinned at her through the window.

"Come inside!" she whispered. "You make me so nervous perched out there!"

"Bella, I have been sitting here, or on the roof yonder, every night for six months," he teased, but he obediently climbed through the window. "Besides, I could fall from a much greater height without injury. I did today."

"Oh. Of course," she said, looking sheepish. Then something seemed to occur to her, and she folded her arms, avoiding his eyes. A blush rose to her cheeks.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

She shook her head dismissively and walked away a few steps. "Nothing. I know you've seen it a thousand times."

"Seen what?" Edward asked in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

She glared at him over her shoulder. "Edward, I seldom draw my curtains at night." She looked away in embarrassment.

"Bella, no!" He gently pulled her arms free from their defensive posture and took her hand in his. "I have only approached the house after you were asleep."

She raised an eyebrow in challenge, and he nervously cleared his throat. "I will admit that I've been sorely tempted." He gently squeezed her hand. "But no, Bella. I've always kept a respectful distance during moments when you required privacy." He held her eyes, willing her to see the truth of what he said. "I have no wish to dishonor you."

Bella's face fell, and she bit her lip. "I'm so sorry, Edward," she said. "You've always been very considerate…a perfect gentleman." She shook her head quickly and sighed. "I don't know what's wrong with me this evening!"

Edward pulled her close. "Shhhh, Bella," he crooned, his hand slowly stroking the length of her hair. "There's nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. You've been so brave today."

Bella sniffled and heaved another shaky sigh. "I'm not worried about myself…I'm worried about you!" She looked up at him, her face pinched with concern. "I'm afraid you'll do something foolhardy trying to protect me and get yourself killed!"

Edward cupped her cheeks and brushed a tear away with his thumb. "Bella," he said firmly, "I'm very hard to kill. You don't have to worry about me."

"But Hunter is a newborn!" she protested. She went to the window and peered into the darkness, as if Hunter might be lurking in the shadows. "He's much stronger than you are, you said it yourself!" .

"That's true," Edward conceded, "but he also will be impulsive and irrational. In battle, newborns are clumsy and predictable. Carlisle, Jasper and I all have trained in methods of exploiting those weaknesses. We'll make sure the others know as well."

Bella turned to look at him doubtfully. "Truly, that will be enough?" Edward nodded.

"I just wish there were something I could do to help," she said with a scowl of frustration. "I _hate_ feeling so weak!"

"Oh, Bella…you're anything but weak." Edward stood behind her and gently pulled her hair back from her shoulder. "Your strength was one of the first things about you that attracted me." He placed a kiss against the side of her neck, and she shuddered lightly in pleasure.

A smile quirked Bella's lips, and she tilted her head at him. "Before or after my singery fragrance?" she asked.

Edward grinned, then assumed a serious demeanor. "Hmmm…let me see." He looked at the ceiling for a moment, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "I believe the order was…singery fragrance, exquisitely beautiful face, strength, kindness…" He shook his head. "No, that's not it. It was singery fragrance, strength, _then_ exquisitely…"

"Stop!" Bella burst out laughing and covered his mouth with her hand. He kissed her palm and took hold of her hand, laughter in his eyes.

A door slammed below, interrupting their teasing, and they recognized Michael's step as he climbed the stairs, passing the second floor and continuing upward. Bella looked at Edward in alarm.

Edward's expression was hopeful as he whispered, "May I return to you later, once your cousin is abed?"

"Of course," whispered, wondering how a man Edward's age could manage at times to look so charmingly boyish.

Edward was halfway out the window when she asked, "Edward, how old were you, when you…when Carlisle…"

"Changed me?" He shrugged. "I don't know, exactly. Twenty, at least." He gave her a cheeky smile and pushed off the window, dropping to the grass below without making a sound.

She quickly leaned her head out the window to look for him, but he had already vanished into the darkness.

~oOo~

With a sigh, Bella opened her door, and her cousin tripped ungracefully into the room. It was all she could do to keep a straight face, for Michael obviously was more than a bit inebriated and trying to behave otherwise.

She listened in amusement as he assured her numerous times, and with increasingly colorful language, that he would take care of that devil James Hunter for her, should the wretch ever decide to show his sorry arse in their home again, which he damn well had better not, because by God he would give him what for, the blackguard.

Somehow restraining her giggles, Bella shuffled her cousin backward into the hall. She tried to close her door, but Michael lurched forward, and she had no choice but to let him back in or risk braining him. She finally managed to wrap her arm around his waist and walked him down the stairs to his bedroom door.

Her cousin swayed as he looked down at her, wearing a silly half-smile on his face.. "Yer a goo'girl, Beller. I hope tha' Cullen chshap will makeyou happy."

"He's a good man, Michael. You needn't worry on that account."

"Good." He gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek and managed to open his door. "Don' wanchoo t' be lonely in yer dotage. Yer not azyoung azyou were, m'girl. Yer a goo'girl. You go git tha' Cullen fella. He may be yer las' chance."

Then he had an epiphany, and his eyes bugged with excitement. "You shoul' use yer feminine wilesz!" He paused to belch spectacularly. "Then he won' min' whatta odd birdy-swanny-bird you are."

"Goodnight, Michael." She gently shoved him into the room and watched him collapse face down on his bed. Not five seconds had passed before he began to snore. She quietly pulled the door closed and leaned against it, tipping her head back to look heavenward in supplication. _Please don_ _'_ _t let Edward have heard that little exchange_ _…_ But of course, she knew he had.

Sounds of talking and laughter drifted up from the dining room as Bella started up the stairs, wondering what had inspired Michael to get so drunk. She'd never seen him behave in such a way, but answers would have to wait for morning, assuming he was up and about.

~oOo~

Bella entered her bedroom to find Edward standing by the window, looking somewhat abashed. "I hope you don't mind that I let myself in," he said with a gesture toward the open window.

She smiled. "Of course I don't mind." Bella took her supper tray from the top of the bureau and placed it on her bed. "Do _you_ mind if I eat in front of you?" she asked as she sat cross-legged.

"Not as long as you don't expect me to share," Edward replied with a playful smirk, and settled himself in the chair by the window. He watched her enjoying her food for a moment, then frowned and rested his elbows on his knees, studying his hands thoughtfully. If Bella had been upset by the idea that he might have watched her from outside at a distance, then surely having him in her bedroom as she prepared for sleep would be uncomfortable for her. He needed to remember how new all of this was to her still.

Bella returned her tray to the bureau and quickly freshened up at the wash basin, then turned to Edward with an easy smile.

He rose to his feet. "Bella, if my presence allays your fears, I am glad," he said earnestly, "but I don't wish to intrude on your privacy. I can guard you as well from the ledge outside…and you can pull the curtains."

"Please stay!" Bella said quickly. "Don't worry about what I said before, Edward; I was being overly sensitive."

"You're certain?" he asked. "I'm perfectly comfortable outside on the ledge."

Bella came to him and took his hand, looking down at it as she murmured, "Edward, even without Alice's vision, I would have wanted you here with me tonight." She tugged on his hand and he allowed her to lead him to the bed.

"Would you like to you sit with me?" she asked with a shy smile. She settled herself with her back against the wall, drawing her knees to her chest. Edward put his boots under the window and turned to look at her. She looked small, and very young, sitting in the dim light of the candle, tucked up against the wall. He carefully climbed onto the bed and sat beside her, his forearms resting on his knees.

Bella lay her cheek against her knees to look at him, her expression thoughtful.

"I don't understand the feelings I've been having," she said softly, her eyes focused elsewhere. "When I'm with you, it's as if a huge weight lifts, and everything feels… _right."_ Her face grew pensive. "When you're away, I feel anxious and empty, as if a part of myself is missing." She rubbed her fingers against her sternum and met his eyes. "It's a terrible, hollow ache in my chest. I can't bear it."

Edward gently stroked her hair, then let his hand fall to his lap. "I fell in love you a year ago," he said quietly, "and I've been bound to you ever since. I always will be." He lifted a hand to stroke her cheek, his eyes solemn. "Being apart from you is unbearable."

After a moment, the corner of his mouth turned up. "It has to do with vampires being mates," he said. "I suppose it's affecting you as well."

As Bella considered his words, Edward realized that now was probably a good time to tell her of the solution he hoped would ease their problems. He opened his mouth to speak, but Bella was already asking him a question.

"How does one become a vampire?"

Edward's heart sank, and he stared at her in dismay. "How does…" There were only two reasons she would ask this question. He told himself that she was simply curious, because he couldn't bear to think of the alternative.

"The only way is to be bitten by a vampire, but not killed," he told her. Bella continued to watch him expectantly, so he grudgingly went on, "Venom enters the body and begins the transformation. The process is excruciatingly painful."

To his disappointment, Bella remained calm as she considered his answers. "If a person had just died," she asked, "would the transformation still be possible?"

He shook his head. "No. The venom can only spread if the heart is still beating."

He watched her apprehensively, hoping her curiosity had been satisfied, and that she would move on to some other topic. But he was not to be so fortunate.

Her brow furrowed thoughtfully and she asked, "How long does the process take?"

"Roughly three days," he answered. "Bella…"

She sat up and looked him squarely in the eye. "Edward, I want you to change me."

For a moment, he couldn't respond.

_Please…don't ask this of me._

"Bella, no…" His voice trailed off and he was nearly overcome with despair as he gazed at her trusting face. His mind shied away in horror at the thought of Bella's life being ended prematurely, of her being doomed to an eternity of regretting what she had become.

"But why not?" she asked, her eyes entreating. "Edward, there is danger coming. I could help if I were like you."

"Bella," he said tersely, "You don't know what it _means_ to be like me." He shook his head dismissively, his mouth a bitter line. "You don't understand what you're asking."

"Then help me understand!" she cried in frustration. " _Tell_ me what it means."

Edward's eyes were bleak as he answered her. "It means being an animal, Bella…the most monstrous predator." His voice was harsh, almost cruel. "During the first year, you'll be consumed with such a terrible hunger for human blood that you'll be capable of killing anyone, even your cousin or your aunt, without a second thought. The hunger will strip you of your humanity, rule you completely."

Bella's face paled, and she stared at him in confusion. "But…you're not like that," she said.

Edward shook his head impatiently, his face darkening. "It's still too easy for you to think of me as human. Bella, _I am not!"_

She flinched at his harsh tone, her eyes growing wide.

"My family and I hunt animals, but we still crave human blood. The blood of animals sustains us but leaves us _never_ satisfied. The hunger and need are always there."

Bella looked down at her hands, now clutched in her lap. "You mean…d-do you feel it now?"

Edward's eyes were pained as he answered quietly, "Yes."

Bella considered this for a moment in silence.

"Is it _very_ difficult," she asked, "being near me?"

"It…burns…in my throat." Edward looked embarrassed at this admission, and he swallowed thickly. "But it has grown easier with time."

She nodded and fiddled with the lace on the hem of her nightdress. "You are describing the worst of it," she said quietly, "but every life has hardships and joys." She glanced up at him and quickly lowered her eyes again. "I would gladly suffer such things, if it meant we could be together.".

Edward turned his body so that they faced each other and took both her hands in his. He swallowed, nerves making his throat tight. "Bella, if what you want is for us to be together, we can have that without changing you."

She gazed at him in confusion. "I don't understand."

Edward's grip tightened and his eyes blazed with intensity.

"Marry me, Bella."

~oOo~

Bella's mouth fell open on a tiny gasp.

Edward watched her, his face falling slightly when she didn't respond.

"It's a much better solution," he said. "I could protect you more easily with you at my side. And once the danger is past, we would be together…that's what I want as well." He held her eyes, his expression earnest.

Bella's mind was a turmoil of emotions. She _did_ want to marry Edward some day, but it was clear that he had asked her tonight because of the threat from James and Victoria. It had been the same with his decision to court her, she thought sadly.

Before she could voice these thoughts, a much worse possibility occurred to her, and her face flushed with embarrassment. Was this also some misguided response to Michael's drunken ramblings? She couldn't bear it if Edward viewed her as some kind of sad wallflower who needed to be rescued from imminent spinsterhood.

"Are you asking me now because you overheard what Michael said?" she spluttered in indignation, "Because I don't need your sympathy!" A large part of her knew she was being silly and unfair, but she couldn't seem to check her emotions today. Every feeling, every reaction was near the surface; every nerve felt raw and exposed.

"How many other humiliating conversations have you overheard?" she asked, warming to her topic as Edward listened in growing confusion. "You must have enjoyed my aunt's frequent diatribes on my p-pathetic circumstances. Well, I will have you know…"

Edward wordlessly gathered Bella into his arms, filled with remorse at having upset her so. She remained stiff and unyielding for just a moment, then released a shuddering breath and relaxed against him, her anger spent.

Edward dipped his head and murmured, "Sweetheart...do you think I give credence to a single word that comes from that poor, silly woman's mouth?" He shook his head and pressed a kiss against her hair. "And your cousin...his heart is in the right place, but he doesn't truly understand you, does he?"

Bella shook her head and hugged her arms around her waist. "If you could hear the things people say in town, you'd understand what he meant," she whispered. She was ashamed that Edward was seeing her when she felt so weepy and insecure. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head until morning.

"There is _nothing_ wrong with you, Bella!" The sudden anger in Edward's voice cut through the fog of her misery and she looked up in surprise. He left the bed and paced away, cursing under his breath, " _Caniculae malae!"_ then returned and stood looking down at her, eyes ablaze.

"Do you know how many times I have longed to come to your defense, Bella?...longed to defend you against those ignorant harpies in the village who call themselves ladies?" He sat on the edge of the bed so that he could look directly into her eyes and show her the conviction behind his words. "I have watched for nearly a year as as they have derided you for the great sins of refusing to hide your intelligence, of daring to live your life as you see fit." He scoffed in disgust. "I don't know how you restrain yourself, when you so easily could run roughshod over every one of them. Yet you rise above their pettiness and treat them kindly."

Edward closed his eyes in order to regain his composure, and when he opened them again, his voice was calm. "Do you want to know the _real_ reason those women don't like you?" He chuckled humorlessly. "Bella…they're _envious_."

She snorted in disbelief, but Edward raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Vampire hearing," he said.

"That's…that's ridiculous," she spluttered. "You must have misunderstood."

"Bella, do you remember what Michael said at dinner the other day? 'Every man within fifty miles knows they may as well not even try.' Sweetheart…" He laughed shortly, and spread his arms wide. "You could have your pick of the men around here. And _believe_ me…the other women know it."

She started to protest again, but stopped when she saw the look on his face. "Vampire hearing?" she asked in a small voice.

"You don't see yourself clearly, Bella," Edward said gently. "But I do."

She gazed at him for a moment and then quietly studied her hands in her lap as Edward waited patiently. When she looked up again, she wore a rueful smile. "It's been a trying day," she said. "I'm sorry I'm being so…"

Edward quickly leaned in and interrupted her with a kiss. He pulled back to hover a breath away, and then kissed her again, tenderly this time, one hand coming up to touch her cheek, his lips gentle as they moved with hers. Bella relaxed against him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Edward rested his forehead against hers and murmured, "I think perhaps tonight isn't the best time for us to be making life altering decisions." She snorted and grinned up at his equally amused face.

"Perhaps not," she agreed, and rolled her eyes.

The noises from downstairs had been winding down, and now they heard one door, then another close as the boarders sought their rooms for the night. Bella glanced at her pillow and blurted, "Would you like to share my bed tonight?"

Her cheeks flamed with embarrassment, but she held his gaze steadily, watching as Edward's expression changed from surprise to guarded happiness.

He resisted the urge to ask her if she was certain she wanted him there. Instead, he stroked his hand lightly across her cheek and said, "I would be honored to do so."

~oOo~

Bella opened the window and whispered, "I'm ready!" and Edward immediately appeared on the ledge before her and came inside.

She was in a nightdress, and he recognized it as the one she'd worn the night of the storm. The light shawl around her shoulders did nothing to dispel the vivid images that filled Edward's mind…Bella, kneeling next to him at the window, her hair tossing in the wind…standing before him, wet fabric clinging to pale skin, the most devastatingly erotic sight he'd ever seen…

Bella crawled under the covers and scooted across the bed, making room for Edward. She sat up and asked, "Would you like to…I mean…" She closed her eyes and shook her head in frustration at her own awkwardness. Opening her eyes again, she quickly asked, "Wouldn't you like to sleep in your underclothes? Lie down I mean. Not sleep obviously…" She trailed off, rolling her eyes at herself, then looked at him expectantly.

"I'm…" He cleared the hoarseness from his throat. "I'm comfortable in my clothes, but if _you_ would be more comfortable…"

"I would." She smirked at his surprised expression, then scooted back against the headboard and folded her hands in her lap. "Would you like me to close my eyes?" she asked teasingly.

Edward stared at her, wondering at her rapidly changing moods. One moment she was blushing like a schoolgirl, and the next, she was playing the temptress.

He grinned broadly and shook his head, saying, "Closing your eyes won't be necessary."

He unbuttoned his vest, fingers moving too rapidly for her to follow, then removed it and tossed it on the chair. Next he toed off his boots and nudged them against the wall by the window, unbuttoning his cuffs as he turned back to her. Bella's blush spread to the roots of her hair, but she continued to watch him appreciatively as his shirt joined the vest on the chair.

Edward was enjoying this more than he would have imagined. Bella blushed and squirmed on the bed, all the while following his every move, smiling like the cat who'd eaten the canary. His hands moved to the waistband of his trousers and Bella's eyes finally darted away to the ceiling, then she bit her lip and watched as he tossed those to the chair as well. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off his socks, rolling them into a ball and sending them arcing through the air to join the growing pile. At last he stood before her barefoot, arms outspread, a cheeky grin on his face.

Bella shook her head at him and pursed her lips. "Show off."

Edward threw his head back and laughed, and Bella joined in, pulling back the covers back for him with a smile.

Edward's laughter faded and he ran a hand behind his neck. "Under the covers?" he asked doubtfully. Bella looked down at the bed and flushed.

"Of course," she said, refusing to give in to embarrassment this time. She lay down on her side and patted the spot next to her.

Edward obligingly climbed in next to her and turned on his side, but his eyes looked strained. "Perhaps we should have a blanket between us," he said. "You might grow cold in the night."

"If I get cold, I'll fetch another quilt," she responded, looking at him quizzically.

She sat up and faced him. "Edward…I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable."

"It isn't anything you're doing." He rolled to his back and closed his eyes, a muscle working in his jaw. He sat up suddenly and leaned back against the headboard, elbows resting on his knees and his hands cupping the back of his neck.

Bella watched him, her face pinched with worry, at a loss for what could be wrong. When at last he lifted his head, Bella's heart dropped. Edward wasn't meeting her eye, and he looked… _ashamed._

"Edward, will you tell me what's wrong?" she whispered. He nodded but his eyes avoided hers, staring straight ahead, unfocused. She waited patiently as he gazed unseeingly into the distance.

Finally, he shook his head and said lowly, "I don't know how to do this."

Bella frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?" she asked softly.

She touched his cheek, encouraging him to look at her, and when he complied she almost gasped at the depth of despair in his eyes.

"I _want_ to be good for you, Bella…but…" He laughed humorlessly and shook his head in disgust. "I don't even know how to be _normal_."

Edward's mouth twisted bitterly and his eyes squeezed tightly shut. "The only things I've experienced were…" he stopped abruptly and clutched at his hair, as if to banish the memories that tormented him.

"I don't want to expose you to those things," he whispered roughly. He leaned forward over his knees and his hands came up again to cover the back of his head.

Bella stared at Edward, aghast, and her heart pounded roughly in her chest as burning anger took root there. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to travel back in time and find the monsters who had done this to him. She wanted to hurt them, over and over again, as he'd been hurt.

But they were beyond her reach.

She gently took Edward's hand and held it in her lap and rubbed soothing patterns across the back of his hand, occasionally trailing her fingers lightly along his forearm and back. After a time, he lifted his head and rested it against his arm so that he could see her fingers' gentle movements, and some of the tension left his face. She watched and waited patiently as his shoulders gradually lost their stiffness.

"Edward," she said, "I don't believe you will ever do anything to hurt me, or anything I don't like. But we can take things as slowly as you wish."

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Who said I wanted to take things slowly?" he asked, eyeing her with a look of mild indignation.

Bella share his smile, but then her face grew serious. "I'd like to kill the woman who did those things to you," she said angrily, and Edward lifted a brow at her in surprise. He leaned back against the headboard with a sigh. "Carlisle took care of Caesula a long time ago," he said, his face dispassionate.

The hair stood up on the back of Bella's neck, and she was filled with a grim sense of satisfaction. "Good!" she said fiercely. "I hope he took his time about it."

Edward smiled at her bloodthirsty outburst of protectiveness. "He wouldn't tell me," he said, "but he might tell you, if you ask him."

"I just might do that," Bella muttered. Edward turned and stroked the hair back from her face. "Thank you, Bella," he said quietly. She could only nod, her throat suddenly tight.

Edward doused the candle and they settled back into bed, facing each other. Almost at once, Bella bit back a yawn. "Sorry," she whispered.

Edward leaned in and slowly kissed her mouth, then her cheek, and then rested his head next to hers on the pillow. Taking his time, he gently kneaded the sore muscles of Bella's shoulders and arms, drawing purrs and sighs from her that made him smile with satisfaction.

"Say something to me in Latin," Bella murmured drowsily. "I like it when you speak in Latin."

Edward smiled at her request. He reached up to trace his fingers lightly along the graceful lines of her face. " _Bella mea, te amo. In aeternum te amabo_ ," he whispered. Her breaths grew slow and steady.

He kissed her lightly on the cheek. " _Dormi, formonsa deliciae mea_ ," he whispered against her soft skin, and then he lay his head next to hers, and closed his eyes.

* * *

 

**A/N:**

**_Perturbatio =_ confusion, passion, emotion**

**_Bella mea, te amo. In aeternum te amabo. =_ My Bella, I love you. I will love you forever.**

**_Dormi, formonsa deliciae mea._ = Sleep, my beautiful sweetheart.**

**_Caniculae malae_ = evil bitches**


End file.
